Female college student dissuaded 7-year-old boy to enter the women's locker room and was beaten and abused by parents: My child is still young, what does he understand?

Original | Pregnancy

See the bear parents again!

On April 12, a #Female college student discouraged woman from taking a boy into the locker room and was beaten# attracted attention from the whole Internet.

It happened in Mianyang, Sichuan Province, where a female college student posted that she was in the gym and was beaten and verbally abused by her parents for dissuading a 7-year-old boy from entering the women's locker room.

At that time, the girl was taking a shower when she heard the voice of the boy talking in the dressing room, the voice was very close, and she was scared at that time, because there was no baffle between the dressing room and the bathroom, only the bath curtain was blocking it.

After waiting for a long time, she walked out and found that it was a mother with her son.

She saw the boy as 8 or 9 years old (later confirmed to be 7), as tall as her shoulders.

Regarding this situation, the girl communicated with the boy's parents: "The child is so old, he should be gender-conscious, and he can't run into the women's dressing room." ”

The boy's mother countered on the grounds that her son was still young and had no one to look after.

In this way, the two sides quarreled because of this.

During this period, the boy's mother has been insulting the girl with very fierce words:

"Aren't you just two more pieces of meat on your chest? What is there to see. ”

"If you look like this, you can't get married, and you will break up if you have a boyfriend."

The girl was very angry after being insulted and wanted to run out for help, but because she was not dressed, she could only hurry back, but the boy's mother still scolded unforgivingly:

"You are not afraid of being seen in this way, you can't be seen by my son, you can be seen by the men outside?"

"You are a slut, shameless."

The girl with a mouth full of filthy words and scolding is very aggrieved, but this is not over.

After several arguments, the boy's mother beat the girl, dragged her hair and slapped her, and her face was bloodied.

Even if the girl called the police later, the boy's mother did not apologize, and pointed at the girl very pretentiously and said: Just you are pretentious.

He also refused to compensate because there was no monitoring in the locker room, and said that his son was scared to cry and asked for mental compensation.

Later, after an examination, the girl was beaten to the point of facial contusion and hearing loss in her left ear.

At present, the police have intervened, and the person in charge of the gym in question has issued an apology for the neglect of management, and until now, the boy's parents have not given any reply.

The incident sparked a heated discussion on the Internet.

Some netizens said: 7-year-old children have gender awareness, and they are not 3~4 children, and it is indeed unreasonable to bring them into the women's locker room.

Some netizens said: Sometimes bear parents are more terrible than bear children.

That's right, for the boy's parents, this matter could have been solved in a better way, telling the child in time not to enter the women's locker room and apologizing to others in time.

This not only tells the child that there are differences between men and women, but also respects privacy, but also tells the child to apologize in time when he causes trouble to others.

This parent chose the most radical and wrong way.

For some parents, "the child is still young" is still a universal reason to do whatever you want.

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Discourage 10-year-old boys from entering the women's dressing room

The boy's mother scolded angrily: The child can't understand, just you are afraid to read it

In fact, this is not the first time that something similar has happened.

There are often cases of boys entering the women's changing room, taking boys into the women's bathhouse, and boys entering the women's bathroom.

Whenever these things cause conflict, we can hear that children are young and do not understand anything.

In January this year, when a girl was changing clothes in the fitting room, two boys repeatedly pushed the curtain to "break into" the women's fitting room.

The girl stopped it many times without success, so she theorized with the boy's parents, but was insulted by the boy's parents for "disorderly" and snatched the girl's mobile phone.

Another netizen complained that in the women's locker room of the swimming pool, there are always people who bring teenage boys in and bathe with women, and the boys even do some adult acts.

She was angry and complained to the staff, who said it was unmanageable.

The boy's mother looked straightforward: if the child can't understand, you are afraid to see it!

The boys in the photo have one meter four or five by sight, and they can't take the bus for free, and they are also brought into the women's dressing room, which is really inappropriate.

Two- and three-year-old children enter the women's locker room in desperation, and the pregnant mother believes that most people can understand, but it is really very inappropriate for 7 and 10 years old to enter the women's locker room.

Some netizens said: In these things, the attitude of parents is the most infuriating.

If parents have not taught their children gender awareness since childhood, did not teach children to pay attention to privacy, and respect the privacy of others, then children naturally have no boundaries.

In the long run, it is not conducive to the growth and development of children.

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The child is small

But it's not that you don't understand anything!

In the eyes of many parents: my child is still young and does not understand anything.

If you always deal with things as "the child is still young", the child may really not understand anything in the end.

This is not good for the child's development.

Parents always think that their children are small, but in fact, children are more sensitive than we think.

In Nantong, Jiangsu, the father wants to go to the toilet, but he is not worried about leaving his 2-year-old daughter alone outside the door, so he wants to take his daughter into the toilet.

As a result, the little baby said that he was unwilling to do anything: I am a girl, how do you let me accompany?

In the mother and baby room of an airport, parents took the little boy directly to use the women's toilet.

When he was discovered, the boy's face was red to the root of his ears.

You see, children are really not as insensitive and insensible as parents think.

Studies have shown that children are already having the concept of gender when they are about 2 years old, and it is known that there is a gender difference between boys and girls.

By the age of 3-5, most children will form a gender identity, they will find that boys and girls are different, and they will slowly develop behaviors and performances that are suitable for their gender.

For example, boys should not go to girls' locker rooms.

Girls go to the women's toilet and boys to the men's bathroom.

They will also slowly begin to protect their privacy.

So, don't think of your child as if they don't understand anything.

Children will continue to receive information from life, and continue to understand and deepen their gender awareness.

As a netizen mother said: children go to the toilet in kindergarten at the age of three are separated by men and women, teachers will actively help children understand their gender roles, help children understand the rules, clear boundaries, why do some parents not understand?

Yes, for young babies is really unavoidable, but for 6-, 8-, and 10-year-old children, entering the opposite sex locker room and toilet is really something to avoid.

Some experts have pointed out that under normal circumstances, from the age of 2 and a half, children are already conscious of sex.

If parents take their children into the heterosexual locker room, it will cause children's curiosity or misunderstanding of the opposite sex gender, and may even lead to precocious puberty in the child's future growth!

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Help children become gender aware

It is to teach children to protect themselves and to teach children to respect others

My child is small, he can't read,

My child is only in elementary school, and there is no distinction between men and women.

The child is small, touch it to see what's wrong.......

We hear these things all the time they happen.

As if because "he is just a child", everything he does can be tolerated and understood.

But parents, children are only your children, not the world.

Helping children establish gender awareness at the right age and in the right place is not only to let children know how to protect themselves, but also to let them know how to respect others.

So how can parents help their children become gender aware?

First: protect privacy

● Teach children rights and boundaries.

For example, the concept of privacy, your own private parts cannot be touched by others, and you must knock on the door first to enter other people's rooms.

For example, touching the body is a cross-boundary: boys' genitals and buttocks are private parts, girls' breasts, reproductive organs and buttocks are private parts, no one can touch them, and children have the right to refuse improper touching.

● Parents should choose the appropriate time in daily life for their children to understand and emphasize many times.

● The body belongs to herself, and others have no right to force or interfere.

● What parents should do is to instill this awareness into their children in daily life, which is the most effective protection for children!

Second: There must be boundaries between family members

● Before the age of 3: Before the age of 3, the siblings are not too gender-conscious, and the boundaries do not need to be too strict.

● 3-9 years old: After the age of 3, children begin to have gender awareness, parents should establish a sense of difference between men and women for their children, such as when one party bathes, goes to the toilet, dresses, the other party cannot look, private parts must not be touched, and clothes must be worn when sleeping in a bed.

●After the age of 9: After the age of 9, most children will begin to develop secondary sexual characteristics, if you feel that the child is still young and has not yet let the child sleep in separate rooms, it is necessary to start the implementation of letting the child sleep in separate rooms, and at the same time, tell the child to knock on the door when entering the other party's room.

●Avoid walking around or even appearing naked in only underwear in front of your child.

● Same-sex parents have the obligation to teach their children to recognize their own gender organs, distinguish the differences between men and women, and explain directly and clearly.

●Parents of the opposite sex should close the door when using the toilet, and teach children to avoid when they see the opposite sex going to the toilet.

Third: Face up to your child's curiosity

It is completely normal for children to be curious about the body of the opposite sex.

If the child shows curiosity, do not let it go, parents should guide it correctly.

Curious points about children should be answered in time, such as why boys and girls are different.

Ask and answer your child's questions, don't hide it, don't be perfunctory.

Ma Yili once said: Remember that the attitude you tell determines the child's attitude towards this matter, the more natural, the more sincere, the less concealed, the less curious the child.

Only after parents get a satisfactory answer that does not need to be questioned, the child will not search for the bottom of the back.

(Image source: "Ding Ding Doudou Growth Story")

Fourth: Teach children to respect others

We need to teach children to know themselves, but also tell children to respect others and help children establish a sense of boundaries.

Everyone is responsible for their own actions, and it is wrong to invade private space and invade the privacy of others without the permission of others.

Finally back to the issue of opposite-sex parents taking their children out, the example in the news above is the mistake of individual moms, and we should not rise to the crowd of all moms with boys alone.

But this problem is indeed a problem that troubles many mothers, pregnant mothers put forward a few suggestions:

●First and foremost, we call for the establishment of third toilets and third changing rooms in commercial areas, important public facilities, etc. It is convenient to solve the problem of father taking little girl or mother taking little boy.

●Conditions permit, try to let the elders of the same sex (dad or grandfather) bring it. If the mother must bring it, try to let the child go to the men's bathroom by himself, the mother is guarding the door, and can communicate with the child with a voice, comfort him, and give him confidence.

●Try to avoid taking children into changing rooms or toilets of the opposite sex. If there is really no way, then tell the child that this is a last resort before entering.

Let the child not walk around, knock on the door, lift the curtain, let the child not look randomly after entering, and quickly bring the child into his own compartment.

In this case, pregnant mothers believe that everyone can understand and tolerate.

Reference article

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