Text | Thirteenth sister
When we were young, we were all people who were saddened by the story of the cowherd and weaver girl, and when we grew up, we found that most of us were PUA.
I can only see my husband once a year, and I don't have to bring my own children, my wife is only responsible for looking beautiful as a flower, my husband has to raise a family with a baby, and I feel my conscience and say, which woman will say that this kind of life is sentimental?
Oh, if I can really live such a life, I can have no conscience.
But the reality is that we have a conscience, but we don't have the life of a weaver girl.
Last week, a middle-aged mother left a message in my article, she said: "My husband sent to another city, come back once in half a month, the child is in junior high school, but it's too cool"... Versailles, a middle-aged woman, always reveals a warm tendency to cold violence.
I have only seen the show off of wealth and beautiful report cards before, but now I find that showing off their loneliness is the king.
The latter post is even more up:
"Accumulate virtue in your last life, you can live the life of a weekend couple in this life, it seems that you have accumulated a lot of virtue in your last life."
Gee, what kind of tiger and wolf words are these.
Here I say: I really don't recommend you to live this kind of life! Because I haven't lived yet...
But this gives us an inspiration: although this life may be like this, if we accumulate more virtue, will we be able to have the same life as Weaver Girl in the next life?
Is it possible to go to the next level and live the life of Bai Suzhen, as soon as her eyes are closed and opened, the baby becomes a champion.
It seems that accumulating virtue is a matter that needs to be put on the agenda.
Speaking of virtue.
I think of a recent Japanese drama "Restart Life", there is a special and important knowledge point in it -
If you want to be reincarnated and continue to be a human, you must accumulate more virtue, otherwise you can only be reincarnated into the strange creature of the Guatemalan anteater.
So of course, the heroine didn't want to be an anteater, and she decided to be a human again, this time to accumulate more virtue so that she could still be a human in the next life.
In this way, she died several times and was reincarnated as a human being several times.
Although on the surface it seems that it should be a cross-over drama that is constantly reincarnated and reincarnated, in fact, being a person again is still the same ordinary and trivial. There was no dimensionality reduction blow, nor did she crush everything, but every time she still coveted such a life, she still wanted to be a person in the next life...
This is probably what life is.
This suddenly led to a wonderful idea:
Maybe our current life has been exchanged for a lot of virtue in our previous life.
Although it is very trivial, a lot of anxiety, and imperfection, it is already a life that does not have to be reincarnated into a large anteater.
Since this thought, I now see that my son and his father are relieved.
Last week, the thirteenth brother-in-law said that he would make a hole in the bathroom tile, hang a heated towel rack on it, he spread out the tools, make a ping-pong noise, and finally after making two holes in the wall, he sat there and studied for more than half an hour, and finally said: "This hole is not compliant, I will reopen it tomorrow." ”
I didn't know, I thought he was going out to compete with this work.
Then he went out and got two pounds of cement and plugged the two holes. What was originally a good wall has now become a wall with two large lumps of cement.
I wanted him to leave the house with his impact drill and pink toolbox, and then I thought: just such a husband, maybe I have accumulated a lot of virtue in my previous life.
At least he can make holes, he hasn't burst the water pipe, maybe some husband will do a job and collapse the house...
I even have to thank my previous life for the effort of having a caring spouse who cares not only about Trump but also about how to optimize my bathroom.
The ideal spouse is a lot of virtue accumulated in the previous life, the unideal spouse is also not enough in the previous life, horizontal and vertical are you to be responsible for the previous life, who do you complain.
If you already know this, wouldn't it be enough to accumulate more virtue in your previous life?
But the problem is not big, we can start accumulating virtue from this life in exchange for a better life in the next life.
So the question is, how to accumulate virtue.
If you don't get married and have a baby, you won't understand that virtue is a practice.
Not long ago, my friend said that her daughter smuggled her a bottle of cream of several thousand pieces to kindergarten and distributed it to the children as body milk.
My friend cried to us about this, and I said to her: "It's okay, your daughter is accumulating virtue, and by the way, if you have a worry-free and excellent baby, you will understand that half of this happiness comes from the bottle of cream that was squandered by the daughter of the previous life." ”
If every understanding, tolerance, and openness is regarded as a kind of accumulation of virtue, life will suddenly be bright.
You just see Bai Suzhen's good life, her husband obedient son Xueba, you don't see the road of restraint and forbearance when people were snakes in their previous lives.
Therefore, if you want to cultivate immortals, you have to cross the calamity first. I even think there is a bit of psychological logic behind this.
There is a master in psychology called Seligman, and this uncle is simply a positive energy master. "Positive thinking allows you to think more positively, and then things get better," he said.
When I learned this master, I felt that he was somewhat of an occupational disease, and he talked about "positive" in everything all day, in fact, what is called positive, isn't it to persuade himself more and think about the good. However, taking a step back from leaflet hyperplasia, endure uterine fibroids for a while, and forcibly force positive energy every day is also a disease.
Now I finally understand that this kind of optimism that can be trained is also a form of accumulation of virtue.
There is a word in psychology called "learned helplessness", that is, people have been repeatedly experiencing bad things, people will habitually be negative, pessimistic, and do not break free.
Mr. Seligman invented a new word called "learned optimism", that is, I look at those unfortunate things all day long, persuade myself to be happy, get used to optimism, and bad things will become better.
I think this extreme "forced positivity" may not be suitable for everyone, but married people should really learn from Uncle Sei.
Last week I did a hands-on activity called ABCDE exercise. What does it mean, A is a bad event, B is your thoughts about this matter, C is what negative emotions this incident has caused you, D is self-argument, E is reconciliation with your emotions...
Good guys, doing this homework makes me feel like my little universe is on fire. It's a no-brainer for me, ready-made cases ah -
My husband finished the hole and filled it with cement, isn't this A.
I had a hundred complaints about him, and this is B.
The more I complained, the more negative I became, and I wanted to kick him out, C.
I thought again that if I were a little more tolerant, this would be considered a virtue, D.
In the end I don't dig into this little thing, E.
It is easy to let a middle-aged mother do ABCDE practical homework. ABCDE can be used at any time in daily life, and it is the material for accumulation of virtue.
To put it simply, everyone is accumulating virtue every day, in other words, ABCDE, even if you change to benevolence and righteousness, you are still convincing yourself of peace.
When I see that my husband is not pleasing to the eye, I will silently read: I am accumulating virtue, and I will not give up in the spirit of humanitarianism, and other people's husbands are not as good as him.
When I was so angry that I jumped to my feet, I also meditated: I am accumulating virtue, caring for the growth of immature seedlings with great maternal love, and not asking for children with my own selfish desires.
In dealing with all people and things that I don't like, I used to force myself to endure and accept, and then I can take the initiative to tell myself that this is a virtue.
Every time he accumulates virtue, he is one step closer to living Bai Suzhen's life in the next life.
What virtues have you accumulated for yourself?