Boys have a fever as soon as they go to school, but their health is normal, and many children encounter similar situations

Text|Ning Ma Wuyu

In Kaifeng, Henan, a 16-year-old boy Xiaoma had a fever as soon as he started school in the first semester of high school, and had no choice but to temporarily suspend school.

Generally, when I am in a good mood, I go to school for a week, and when I am not very good, I start to have a fever after three or four days of school.

His grandfather said of a phenomenon: "I can't mention school at home, say go to school on Monday, and I will have a fever in a day or two." ”

His mother also confirmed that he really had a fever, not pretending, not avoiding school, and his temperature could reach 38.4 °C, and the teacher also praised him. Once the child is well, he will consciously make up for the homework he has missed.

The pony himself also wants to go to school like his peers, but as long as he goes to school, his body can't help himself.

Parents and children are anxious, but they don't know what is going on and how to improve the situation.

There are also many children with unexplained physical problems on the Internet, and some doctors have professionally analyzed them.

Some doctors explain that if you are nervous, there will be abdominal pain and increased frequency of bowel movements, just like many friends always have to go to the toilet before the exam.

The chief pediatrician of Beijing Anding Hospital believes that this is an emotional problem, and the child cannot identify his emotions, which may be manifested as tantrums or physical symptoms, such as vomiting, abdominal pain, diarrhea, constipation and other digestive symptoms, cardiovascular and respiratory symptoms such as chest tightness and shortness of breath, and neurological symptoms such as headache and dizziness.

Before the child has these symptoms, there are actually some signs, but we are not aware of them, such as sleep disorders, easy anger, poor communication with parents, and so on. Many parents do not understand, it will be seen as a manifestation of their child's rebellion.

Children have emotional problems, which may seem inexplicable, but there must be internal reasons behind them, and we are not aware of the connection with specific problems.

The heavy learning burden increases the psychological burden of the child

In Chengdu, Sichuan, 13-year-old Lele was hospitalized for half a month after going to school again, and he became sick repeatedly.

As soon as it was delivered to school, the teacher sent a message saying that the child had a fever. Mother Ms. Xu took the child home, took her body temperature at about 38 degrees, did not rest for a long time, and the child's body temperature slowly dropped. Rest at home for a day or two, get better, go to school again, and start having a fever again.

After half a month, Lele easily stopped having a fever, but he began to have stomachaches again, and he got better as soon as he returned home. Went to the hospital for a check-up and did not have any physical health problems.

The mother took Lele to see a psychotherapist again, and the doctor believed that the child was in a very anxious state, and the anxiety caused the child to have adverse physical reactions.

It turns out that children have excellent grades in elementary school, and it is difficult to maintain their original advantages in junior high school, and they themselves have a lot of pressure. The mother also manages the strict management of multiple tubes, not only in charge of learning, but also in charge of who to play with and how to play, and the child's inner baggage is very large.

Later, the mother improved the way of education, the child was treated for 3 months, and returned to school.

When children first enter junior high school and high school, they often show signs of declining grades.

Because the learning mode of junior high school is different from that of primary school, junior high school and high school pay more attention to thinking and application ability examination, if children rely on rote memorization to achieve good results in primary school, it is difficult to adapt to the learning rhythm in junior high school.

Children in the original school performance is excellent, change a new group of classmates, if they are all top students, there is a sky outside the world, there are people outside the people, it is likely that they will no longer be outstanding, if the child is very demanding of himself, there will be a psychological gap.

Children will also have strong psychological pressure before the high school entrance examination and college entrance examination, because children are always worried that they will not be able to enter high school and university.

When my son was in junior high school, he had to take leave almost every week, either insomnia, diarrhea, constipation, or headache, fever, and constant condition, and went for brain CT without any problems.

My son's classmates also always said that they had a headache and spent a day going for a full body examination, and all the indicators were normal, but they couldn't figure out why.

At the moment of involution, parents' expectations for their children are very high, and they will transmit anxiety to their children from words and actions, and the child's learning pressure is invisibly doubled, but parents think that it is for the good of the child, don't you know how painful it is for the child.

Without the company of parents, children do not feel psychologically safe

In Shangqiu, Henan, a 9-year-old boy, Xuanxuan, often had a high fever of 40 °C and 42 °C for nearly half a year. I went to the hospital for examination, but I did not find the cause.

Usually I don't dare to mention school, usually the night before I say school, the next day I will have a fever. As soon as the child has a fever, the parents will give them leave, and the child will know that he can rest at home, and his body temperature will return to normal.

According to an informed source, Xuan Xuan is a left-behind child, brought by his grandparents all year round, and attended a boarding school, lacking the company of his parents in childhood, and the child lacks a sense of security in his heart.

Zhang Yanbin, chief physician of the Department of Adolescent Psychology of Zhengzhou Eighth People's Hospital, diagnosed it and judged it to be mild depression. After Xuan Xuan's treatment, he did not have a fever again.

Many parents will choose to go out to work in order to provide better conditions for their children because of the pressure of life, and let their children become left-behind children. There are also parents who want to exercise their children's independence and let their children live in school from elementary school.

Parents have helplessness and purpose, but they are very harmful to their children's psychology.

After analyzing many depressed patients, psychologists have concluded that children who lack parental companionship in childhood will live in worry and fear, and often be isolated when encountering some difficulties.

Children are insecure and always think of the bad side when encountering things, and life will not be happy.

Children experience social problems and become resistant to school

I have also seen a phenomenon that some children encounter bullying at school, verbal bullying, physical bullying, so that children have a fear of interpersonal relationships and fear of being bullied after arriving at school, so they dare not go to school. Because of mental tension, he became unwell.

In Chengdu, Sichuan, a boy with the character "Kun" in his name, classmates nicknamed him, and wrote some ridiculous words in his textbooks and desks.

One child had stomach aches as soon as he went to school and vomited in severe cases. The parents thought that the child had digestive problems and took him to a gastroscope, which showed that everything was normal.

They went to see a psychologist again, the child spoke his heart, it turned out that at school, a classmate gave him a nickname, he could not accept it, psychological rejection, unexpected stomach pain. Later, after counseling, the physical symptoms were alleviated.

Mich Storoni, MD at the University of Cambridge, says the threats we face every day come not from the natural environment, but from human interactions. When a person-to-person threat triggers our brain, causing negative emotions, our prefrontal cortex fails.

When negative emotions appear, and you don't know how to resolve them or can't get rid of them, the inner anger will slowly form chronic stress, and physiological symptoms will form.

Children's brain development is not perfect, there is no ability to accurately identify emotions, control emotions, adjust emotions, over time, emotional garbage accumulates more and more, there will be various conditions.

Parents are the key to helping their children out of trouble

If the child has fever, abdominal pain, diarrhea, stomach pain, etc. as soon as he goes to school, do not casually button the child's hat, thinking that the child is avoiding learning, so as not to delay treatment and avoid adding a greater psychological burden to the child.

Be sure to take the child to the hospital in time to check to confirm the physical condition, if the body is normal, there may be psychological problems, you can go for psychological counseling, but more importantly, you must actively communicate with the child, find the reasons behind it, help the child solve personalized problems, and eliminate worries for the child.

When the child is unwell, do not force the child to go to school, allow the child to rest at home, and give careful companionship and care. No matter what age children are, they want their parents to understand and care for themselves, and adolescent children seem to be far away from their parents, but they are not.

American psychology professor Lawrence Steinberg said that adolescent children need the company of their parents more than expected.

Do not think that too much companionship will make the child form dependence, and deliberately keep your distance from the child.

Harvard psychologist William Pollack said that maternal love does not make boys weaker, but makes them stronger emotionally and psychologically.

Written at the end: the boy had a fever as soon as he went to school, but his body was very normal, and many children encountered the same situation, some had diarrhea, some had stomach pain, and the body reacted slightly differently. The reason why they have such a situation may be because of learning pressure, lack of security, social fear, to understand the child's inner needs in time, help the child solve psychological problems, and the physiological problems are naturally alleviated.

I'm @Ningmawuyu

Mother of two boys, more than 10 years of childcare experience

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