After seeing this boy who sneaked flowers in his school bag, I understood why some families can't raise children who know how to be grateful

Text | Rice grain mother

How romantic can a child really be?

The little boy in the video, on Women's Day, carries his schoolbag to his mother's shop.

The school uniform was not worn on the body, but covered over the school bag, with an unfathomable smile on his face, and took domineering steps towards his mother.

The mother was looking at her phone, but the little boy walked up to the mother and turned around, lifting his school uniform, revealing the bouquet of flowers in his bag.

Everyone "wow", and the old mother was even more surprised.

The little boy also shook and displayed the bouquet, and then looked back at his mother proudly.

Later, I learned that the little boy used his own money to buy flowers after school, hoping to give his mother a big surprise on Women's Day.

I don't know what this scene has to envy the old mothers watching next to me, anyway, even the rice grain mother shed tears of envy.

The rice mother has only one question: how did such a warm child raise it!

Conveying love is the best heating

Do you remember Pang Zhongwang? His mother was paralyzed and his father was mentally ill, but under such family conditions, he was admitted to Tsinghua in one fell swoop. (Article pokes→ Parents with disabilities rely on picking up rags for a living, can they still counterattack Tsinghua? His background is incomparable to ordinary people)

After the college entrance examination, Pang Zhongwang became a popular man in his hometown, interviewing reporters one after another, people visited his somewhat shabby home, but he did not twist the slightest, and his words were all gratitude and love for his family.

The reason why suffering did not overwhelm him was because his mother's love prevailed.

Pang's mother is physically disabled, but she keeps smiling every day and tells her son, "Mommy loves you."

It is precisely because of this that Pang Zhongwang has been working "part-time" since he was a child, collecting waste and picking up rags after school to reduce the burden on the family.

In order to make his mother happy, when he went to town to study, he would also leave a letter, telling his mother that he would go home after reading one every day.

When talking about his family, his words are full of confidence and calmness: "My mother is so good, my grandfather is so good, every one of my family members is so good, I think they should envy my family." ”

Because of his mother's beloved expression, he felt the care and love of his family from the bottom of his heart, so he began to use his own strength to convey this love to his loved ones.

Rice mother knows, and some parents feel that they have also given a lot for their children, but their children do not know how to be grateful.

But there may also be cases where we do not give our children the opportunity to express themselves.

Migrain's mother remembered a recent news: the boy saw that his mother's mobile phone was outdated and stuttered, so he used his own money to change his mother with a new mobile phone.

I took it home full of joy, hoping to see my mother's happy smiling face under the surprise, but what I got was a scolding that covered my face.

"You're just spending money! Hurry up and return your phone..."

The child's enthusiasm was suddenly extinguished, and the love for the mother was completely lost.

As netizens said: This mother will not receive any intentional gifts from her children in the future.

The rice mother knew that the mother who received the gift was happy, but she was even more reluctant to spend money on the child, but the words became blame when they came to her lips.

But this practice does break the child's heart.

Children are full of love, but parents are stingy to express love, how can children feel the warmth of love?

As parents, we must properly give our children a scene, so that children can feel their parents' feedback on love, so that children can have the courage to continue to express love next time.

After all, only by warming a child's heart can he radiate warmth outward.

Respect for children is also an interpretation of love

I don't know if you have recently paid attention to a small essay by Sun Li on the hot search, which tells how her daughter Xiaohua embarked on the road of Latin dance.

At the beginning, Xiaohua wanted to learn to dance, but because Sun Li had studied ballet, her first reaction was naturally to let her daughter also learn ballet.

But after studying for a while, Xiaohua saw her good friend learning Latin dance, and she had the idea of changing to Latin dance.

Other parents would definitely refuse when they saw that their children were so unsexual, but Sun Li felt that she knew nothing about Latin and could not give her any advice, and the child was so interested, so she arranged the course.

Until she saw her daughter dancing on the stage, like a radiant elf, she began to be more and more glad that she respected her child's choice in the first place, rather than insisting that the child be obedient.

Not only in her interest in learning, Sun Li always respects her children's choices in her life, and what is more precious than her children's growth and progress is her daughter Xiaohua's love for her mother.

In Sun Li's Weibo, there are shadows of her daughter's love everywhere: hug your mother after school, be the first to tell your mother when you get excellent grades, write your love for your mother when doing handicrafts, and call your mother to care about your mother when you go on a business trip...

Because of respecting the child's choice, the child can not only have the motivation to move forward, but also feel the flow of love with the parents.

With the support of this love, the connection between children and parents will become closer and closer.

In the TV series "In the Name of the Family", Qi Mingyue and his mother are typical negative cases.

The scene where Mi Li's mother remembered the most was when her mother took Qi Mingyue to buy clothes.

In the clothing store, Qi Mingyue did not dare to pick clothes at first, and her mother came and said: "I really have no opinion, let you choose you don't choose." ”

With permission, Qi Mingyue happily picked up a white coat, and her mother said: "What to wear white, I don't like to be clean and I like to wear white." ”

When Qi Mingyue heard this, she picked up a black dress instead, but her mother said again: "What to wear black, black is not suitable for you, so young, you should wear something bright." ”

Don't say Qi Mingyue, even the rice grain mother is speechless, so what to choose.

In the end, it was her mother who took a pink dress, Qi Mingyue had no opinion, and her mother blamed her for not being assertive.

This endless cycle blocked Qi Mingyue unable to say a word, but it also made Qi Mingyue's heart more and more depressed under the control of her mother.

During the final college entrance examination, Qi Mingyue deliberately missed an answer card and fled away from her mother.

When she grew up, she knew in her heart that her mother was for her good, but she could not say a word of thanks.

The awkward mother-child relationship made her no longer able to release her love for her mother, and even made her slowly forget how to love herself.

Mother Migrain knew that Qi Mingyue's mother's intentions were good, but she unknowingly deprived her child of the right to choose.

Everyone's life has its own color, if you always make a blunt choice for your child, it is likely to make the child feel that the parents love not themselves, but an obedient child.

In the long run, even if children understand the love of their parents in their hearts, it is difficult to give love to their parents, let alone warm their hearts.

Take responsibility and give value to your child

Mother Migrain has always felt that a warm-hearted child has a valuable advantage, that is, they can see the hard work of others and are willing to take responsibility.

And the key to making children aware of this is to be willing to "use" children.

A while ago, there was news that in Dongguan, Guangdong, a 12-year-old boy cooked dinner for his parents every day and insisted on it for several years.

The reason is also very simple, because parents are too busy with work, leaving early and returning late every day, they can only let their children be self-reliant after school in the evening.

So from the first grade, the boy began to cook, and later he would cook more and more dishes, and he took on the responsibility of making dinner for the family.

Every day when he comes home from school, he greets his parents with a hot meal, and now he has become a veritable chef.

The comment area is the envy of a water, and some netizens sighed:

Some children repay the favor, some children collect debts, my family comes home with chickens flying dogs jumping, homework is not written, food is not delicious, if there are half of this child.

To say where this gap comes from, the rice mother thinks that it depends on whether the child is "responsible".

It was also his parents who gave him the opportunity to cook, and he realized that he was also an indispensable force in the family.

But don't underestimate the impact of letting children do things, child psychologists also believe that letting children take responsibility in the family will make him have a stronger sense of value.

In other words, children will feel their own importance and will be more willing to take the initiative.

It's like Angie in "Where Did Daddy Go".

In the show, Angie is always like a little adult, taking care of his younger brother, never squeamish, and taking the initiative to help others, and it is not a problem to work.

All thanks to the education of mother Hu Ke.

Hu Ke often took Angie to participate in outdoor hiking activities, and the leader told Angie that in the wild, you must learn to take care of yourself.

So even if Angie is young, she never complains of being tired, and she doesn't even hold her mother's hand once.

Climbing mountains, setting up tents, spending the night in the wilderness, although sometimes you need the help of adults, you will definitely not just look at it, you will do everything yourself.

Such a large physical exertion, for a small child is already tired, but he will still take care of his mother, and keep asking his mother: Are you tired?

Under Hu Ke's education, Anji seems to see herself as someone who can take care of her mother, so she still cares about her mother even if she is tired.

The same was true when recording the show, although I missed my mother very much, but because I was worried that it would affect my mother's rest, I gave up the opportunity to call.

Mother Migrain wants to say that warm-hearted children do not completely look at talent, but more on the guidance of parents.

Properly let the child bear his own responsibilities, so that he can understand that it is not easy to pay, and he will cherish love more.

Slowly, children will also learn to express love and release warmth in taking responsibility.

Personal profile: @米粒妈爱分享 rice grain mother, American returnee, Haidian parent. Focus on learning dry goods, educational experience and further education.