Papi-chan was once again scolded for marriage and childbirth.
As a funny blogger, Papi-chan is always out of the circle because of some social issues that have nothing to do with "funny".
Not long ago, an episode of "Lu Yu Has an Appointment" was broadcast, in which Papi-chan mentioned that she sent her one-year-old child to a nursery institution, but was scolded by netizens, thinking that she was too cruel to send such a young child to a nursery.
She herself felt very puzzled, because when she was a child, she was sent to a nursery school by her parents, and in the United States, daycare institutions there can even accept 4-month-old children, and Japanese institutions can also accept half-year-old children.
How did it come to her herself, so many people objected?
However, netizens scolded and scolded, and whether his own son sent to the nursery class had to be decided by Papi Sauce.
For this matter, her own logical chain is clear:
To bring children at home, it is necessary to sacrifice the career of one of the parents, if not the parents, then the elderly of the two families.
If the husband and wife do not want to put down their careers and do not want to make the elderly work too hard, there are only two options - the first is to ask an aunt, and the second is to send to a childcare institution.
She felt that instead of asking an aunt who didn't know anything to take care of the child, she should send it to a professional childcare institution so that the child could receive more professional care.
Netizens who contradict her believe that it is best for children before the age of 3 to be brought by their mothers herself, and sending them to nursery at this time will greatly reduce the child's experience of growing up.
However, is "the mother's companionship before the age of 3 indispensable" really an iron rule in the world of parenting?
In fact, this kind of young private childcare institution is also very mature in China.
But private is private after all, and the tuition fees of tens of thousands per month are naturally not a problem for families like Papi sauce, but many ordinary office worker parents still can't afford it.
In order to solve the plight of these people, many large cities have promulgated relevant policies of "childcare services", hoping to solve parents' parenting anxiety at a more affordable price.
The choice of papi sauce is just a step ahead of ordinary parents.
This statement about sending her one-year-old and three-month-old child to a childcare facility was made by Papi-chan last year in a show called "Going to Work!" Mom" said in the show.
As the name suggests, the original intention of this show is to help some young new mothers return to the workplace and find their personal value.
In the show, Papi-chan also mentioned a very important point, that is, after being sent to the custody class, the child himself was actually very happy.
Because the teachers of the childcare institution are professional enough, and the schedule sent in the morning to the evening does not sacrifice too much time for parents and children, so for her and her husband, the childcare class is a very efficient parenting program.
But in the show, the other two star mothers, Zhu Dan and Ma Li, were also shocked, feeling that the age of one year and three months is still too young for children sent to nursery institutions.
After the show was broadcast, Papi sauce was indeed questioned by many netizens.
Most people's opinion still thinks that her decision is very selfish, parents lack the company of their children in the first few years of the world, this time is precious, and the loss is gone.
With this turmoil, the controversial incident of "taking the father's surname" two years ago by Papi-chan has also been turned over.
It was Mother's Day in 2020, and Papi-chan, who had just given birth to a child, posted a Weibo, listing the hard work of taking care of the child, saying that she was not tired of being a mother at any work, and accompanied by a photo of herself holding the child, which looked really haggard.
Some people sent blessings to Papi, and some people saw "problems" in her parenting routine.
Because Papi's husband is called "Lao Hu", Papi also affectionately calls his son "Xiao Xiao Hu". So some netizens posted on Weibo and said:
"Papi-chan became so tired after giving birth, but the child still took the father's surname."
In just one sentence, it stirred up a thousand waves.
More and more offensive language began to appear, and some people began to call Papi-chan "wedding donkey", satirizing her as "Hu Jiang" (her husband's surname is Hu, her surname is Jiang).
It seems that since then, Papi-chan has been tied to the "topic of fertility", and as long as she participates in the discussion about having a baby and bringing a baby, it will be taken out for debate.
Policies and concepts need to be improved, and instead of arguing over "whether a 1-year-old should be sent to a childcare institution" and "who should be the last name of a child with papi-chan", it is better to pay attention to the source of the contradiction behind this discussion, that is, the fertility dilemma of women.
Regarding parenting, working mothers, and independent women, Papi-chan has indeed shared a lot of different views.
Some people even criticized her, saying that she was stuck in a certain personality and could not extricate herself, deliberately exporting some seemingly maverick views.
Still in Let's Go to Work! Mom", there is a young mother who did not perform well in the process of working as an anchor and was criticized in public by the leader.
At this time, the guests in the observation room all felt that this leader was not close to people and should be more tolerant to working mothers, but Papi-chan raised an objection, she felt:
If we want to give special treatment to mothers who have given birth to children in the workplace, it will make the company think "why should I recruit someone who needs special treatment" when hiring, which will only make it more difficult for working mothers to find jobs.
For example, some people advocate giving working mothers with children less than 5 years old 4 more days of childcare leave per month, sounds so sweet, right?
However, some people are also worried that once such a policy is implemented, there will be people who will no longer admit working mothers who meet this condition based on this consideration, which will become a disguised squeeze on their workplace space again.
The idea of PAPI also sparked a lot of discussion at the time.
Interestingly, many male netizens quite supported her statement, thinking that not being special is the real equality, and some people gave an example that the end of the nursing mother around her was to be laid off after being treated specially.
Digging sauce just feels that it is a pity that they cannot personally experience the beautiful vision of being "treated equally" in the workplace...
On the contrary, many working mothers expressed different opinions.
They say that they do not actually seek differential treatment, but only hope that "equal treatment" in the workplace will allow their husbands to have as much parental leave as they do, so that they can achieve true equality.
This is a very practical suggestion, after all, the root cause of inequality between men and women in the workplace is the inequality of participation in childcare.
After giving birth, the mother needs a long time to go through the stage of breastfeeding and recovery, while the child's father is asked to return to the workplace as soon as possible and continue to be a screw.
Back to the original words of Papi-chan.
In fact, what she said about "no special treatment" should also be divided into scenes, situations and objects.
As Papi-chan herself, she said this in the tone of a company boss, not a working mother.
As a female boss, she wants to express that women have such abilities, and even if they become mothers, they need to be trusted by the workplace rather than belittled.
And many men who agree with this view obviously have a deviation from the understanding of Papi-chan.
They have not yet (or are unwilling) to realize that today's working mothers are facing workplace discrimination, being vacated by the department after maternity leave, and losing promotion opportunities after giving birth...
They have not even been "treated equally", they have been labeled "differentiated".
Papi-chan also told the story of independent women around her having children.
She has a friend's bank manager, who has not stopped working despite her 7-month pregnancy, flying around the world to meet customers.
The bank manager told Papi's friend: "Don't worry, the moment before I give birth, as long as I am awake, I will reply to every message you send".
There is also a female CEO.
In the moments before entering the delivery room, she was still having a video conference and gave birth to two children, each after the video conference.
This may be the "equal" women in the workplace that some men see.
The so-called "equal treatment" and "the workplace is the workplace" are the illusions that they have done their best to make themselves look effortless.
In recent years, most people have stopped leaving the ridiculous question of "how to balance work and family" to women, but everyone knows that the question is still answered by women.
On this side, the workplace emphasizes the equality of everyone and rejects special treatment; On the other hand, society is emphasizing the importance of bringing up the baby yourself.
And all this pressure will eventually fall on women's heads.
With the gradual advancement of society and technology, professional childcare institutions have emerged, and their supporting professionals have been used to free up the labor force of young parents.
At this time, for the stability of a small family and for the good development of women, we should encourage young mothers to return to the workplace as soon as possible, rather than driving them home to continue to bind with motherhood.
By now, we need to admit that there is no balance between career and family.
Women can't do it, men can't either, and insisting on balance can only lead to excessive sacrifice on one person.
Instead of emphasizing "motherhood greatness" over and over again, let's let mothers be "people" first.