"I tried to disappear, and it turned out that I really didn't care." Hu Xinyu, a teenager who wrote this message in social software, left this world forever.
On the morning of February 2, the investigation of the Hu Xinyu incident was released. The police determined that Hu Xinyu hanged himself, and the audio in his voice recorder expressed his intention to commit suicide.
According to the "China Child Suicide Report" released by the Beiyi Child Development Center, about 100,000 adolescents die by suicide every year.
What kind of pain is it that should have been an age of blood and vitality and hope, so that they used suicide as a solution to the problem? How can parents, schools and teenagers themselves identify psychological problems and stop tragedies from repeating themselves?
Experts interviewed
Liang Hong, director of Beijing Huilongguan Hospital and Beijing Psychological Crisis Research and Intervention Center
The audio in the voice recorder expresses the intention of suicide
At 17:40 and 23:08 on October 14, 2022, the two audio recordings recorded by Hu Xinyu clearly expressed his willingness to commit suicide
At 17:40 on October 14, Hu Xinyu stood on the balcony on the 5th floor of the dormitory and tried to jump off the building, the recording showed that he said: "Really standing here is a little nervous, the heart is beating wildly, to be honest there is no reason, just feel meaningless, what will happen if you really jump?" Up in the air. Jumping should not be found, at least it will not be found now, it will definitely be found in the next few days, just did not jump again, hey, I really want to jump, do not want to, I should not want to. ”
The recording at 23:08 shows that Hu Xinyu once again expressed his willingness to commit suicide, "There is no point anymore, it's almost zero o'clock, just wait a little longer, go directly to die, it's okay, because I'm a little unclear today, now I really want to die, I feel meaningless." ”
Hu Xinyu's psychological portrayal
The relevant person in charge of the local police introduced that Hu Xinyu had insomnia, cognitive dysfunction, abnormal eating and other conditions before his death, and had emotional problems, and had obvious suicide intentions.
◎ I have written a lot of content in books such as "I finally know the pain of insomniacs, I don't know what to think about at night, and there is a mess".
◎ After many exams, he said to his classmates, "I want to listen, but I can't concentrate, I love to be in a daze, and my thoughts float away."
◎ On September 27, 2022, he spoke with his mother three times, a total of 43 minutes and 54 seconds, and his mother reported that he cried that he "didn't want to study and wanted to go home".
◎From October 10 to 13, I went to the balcony on the third floor of the dormitory building alone seven times to look at the garden and the hills outside the campus. On October 14, after dinner in the cafeteria, he twice ascended to the fifth-floor balcony with a voice recorder, with obvious suicide intentions.
How to identify adolescent psychological problems in a timely manner
What are the characteristics of adolescents suffering from mental illness compared to adults?
At present, the most common psychological problem in adolescents is depression, but depression is not equal to depression, it may only be an emotional problem at a certain stage. Compared with adults, adolescents suffer from mental illness with 3 characteristics:
More likely to have behavioral abnormalities, such as impulsivity;
Emotional instability is more prominent and factors are more mixed, such as tantrums at every turn;
Emotional somatization is more obvious, that is, the child's abnormal emotions are manifested through physical discomfort, such as pain, fatigue, poor appetite, etc.
What are the common reasons behind adolescent suicide?
Adolescent suicide is often the result of a combination of factors, such as the surrounding environment, stress, relationships with people around them, emergencies, family history, etc.
We often say that suicide will manifest as "three asymptomatic":
hopelessness, a feeling of hopelessness;
It is useless, he thinks that no matter what he does, he cannot turn the situation around, there is a turnaround;
Endlessly, the patient will think that this situation will continue like this in the future, never ending.
As long as one of the "three asymptomatic" appears, especially "hopeless", it is easy for a person to have suicidal thoughts.
What abnormal behaviors occur in adolescents before suicide?
Prevention and recognition of juvenile suicide signals usually have the following clues:
Verbal signals: Some children will directly say "I don't think it's interesting to live" and "I'll be better without me", which may be accompanied by low emotions when speaking; Some will turn around the corner, such as discussing life and death with parents.
Behavioral signals: strange behavior, such as suddenly cutting your hair short, suddenly giving something you cherish to others, gray clothes, reduced activity, low self-esteem, etc.
Emotional signals: easy to be anxious, sensitive. may over-interpret something, think that you are not doing well enough, and close yourself off; Emotionally unstable and aggressive behavior, such as sudden drinking.
Physical signals: such as pain, fatigue, poor appetite, poor sleep.
Why does the child seem to be more "fragile" when the material conditions are better?
Not just teenagers, but all groups of people face this problem.
Material things are satisfied, and people begin to pursue spiritual needs, which raises expectations high. But whether this expectation is appropriate and how to achieve the goal can easily make people feel anxious. Some people hope to achieve it all at once, and once they can't do it, they completely deny themselves.
Children shoulder certain environmental pressure, such as parents want their children to excel, the existence of some evaluation systems, bring more pressure to children. Whether you can cope with pressure, whether the ability to cope with pressure is improving with social development, and whether you look at problems objectively are all important.
Another point is that when children get needs due to rich material conditions, they often do not need to make too much effort, and even parents will easily satisfy him, which makes the child's "sense of gain" not strong. After their own efforts to obtain a grade, harvest a sense of hope, the psychological state will be good.
How to deal with adolescent psychological problems
What should I do if I notice that my child has a tendency to commit suicide? How to help them?
Clinically, many patients will have "occult depression", this person is actually very depressed, but the surface is not visible. If a patient comes to the hospital, it is easy to find, but it is difficult to identify this part of the population in the general population, and medicine is still overcoming this problem.
If you find that your child has a tendency to commit suicide, you can do the following:
1. Be patient and listen
At this time, the child's emotions are actually very "full", and the parents' persuasion children are likely to not listen, and listening is particularly important. The process of children's telling is itself a process of releasing the heart.
Some people will say to the child "you keep going", this kind of language is evaluative, and the child may be more desperate after listening to it. Instead of giving advice and evaluation, it is more important to give children companionship, listening, acceptance, and empathy.
2. Effective accompaniment
If parents don't know how to deal with it, be sure to accompany and keep their children in their line of sight. Children are more likely to have impulsive behavior than adults, and should be accompanied 24 hours a day as much as possible.
3. Learn to ask for help
In addition to listening and companionship, when you find that your child has a sign of suicide, be sure to take your child to a professional doctor for help.
What happens when I see a doctor?
When the child's abnormal emotions affect his daily life, study, communication, and enjoyment of hobbies, it is necessary to see a doctor. For example, there are problems with grades and poor learning efficiency; Loss of interest in the topic that was originally interested.
How to deal with adolescent psychological problems clinically?
First, it is necessary to assess whether there is depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder and carry out symptomatic treatment.
Adolescents are in the developmental stage and have weak emotional stability, so they should be continuously evaluated, a targeted treatment plan should be developed according to priorities, and medication should be taken if the disease is severe.
In addition to taking medication, parents, doctors, teachers, including the teenager himself need to form a joint force, especially parents should join the treatment team to pay attention to the child's life, eating problems, physical pain, etc.
The doctor will guide parents through the entire treatment process, how to administer the treatment medication, and how to prevent their child from getting dangerous items.
The most important thing to prevent suicide is to limit the tools, without which it is difficult to be dangerous, and there is time to intervene.
Particularly severe adolescents need to be evaluated and, if necessary, hospitalized.
Can a child who has had thoughts of suicide grow up healthy?
There are risk factors that protect the child from risk in the future, or even if they have problems, they know to seek help. Protective factors usually include the following:
Cognitive and personality development. Children are prone to black and white, either perfect or not done, easy to absolute. Some children are also prone to "catastrophia", thinking that if they fail a test, they will not have a good job. We should help children see more possibilities and learn to see problems from multiple angles, not only in textbooks, but also in experience.
Good family relationships. For example, whether you can get the support and acceptance of parents, and whether you can guide your children correctly.
Social and cultural factors. For example, whether the living habits are good, let the child learn self-discipline and live regularly. When a person does not eat well and sleep, his mental state is easy to be anxious and nervous; Secondly, exercise is very important, and there is enough medical evidence to confirm that moderate aerobic exercise can improve self-confidence and improve mood.
How to guide children who are tired of school? How to deal with the relationship between grades and physical and mental health?
Parents themselves can be stressed when they find that their children are emotionally abnormal, but when parents become very anxious and irritable, it is often difficult to find a better solution. At this time, parents must learn to manage their emotions, try to control their children in a relatively stable state, and set an example for their children.
Some children's academic performance can be improved by grasping, while others will not. So it varies from person to person, and parents need to learn to accept their children's achievements.
In addition, parents should learn to use resources, such as counselling, to improve their problem-solving skills. Today's children are very intelligent, and some children have even more extensive knowledge than adults, but the depth of understanding is not necessarily higher. When children and parents communicate on the same frequency track, it is often easier to solve problems.
Finally, Liang Hong called for the importance of adolescent mental health to be normalized and sustained for a long time, rather than because of a certain incident or case.
The departure of young Hu Xinyu is extremely sad, and it also warns us that adolescent mental health problems need to be taken seriously, and families, schools and even the whole society should carry out effective intervention to avoid similar tragedies from happening again. ▲
Editor of this issue: Deng Yu Zheng Ronghua