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01
Darwin's "Evolution" phrase "natural selection, survival of the fittest" applies not only to the large biological category, but also to our real life. In real life, we also need to constantly "evolve" in order to adapt to different environments.
The reason is very simple, but many people ignore "evolution" and think that evolution is only a law that applies to living things, and has nothing to do with themselves. In fact, we all need to evolve, and the objective fact that we have evolved into adults does not need to be cared about, but the evolution of the "spiritual level" needs to be continuous.
In fact, whether consciously or unconsciously, we are doing "evolution" things, we learn various skills, understand various truths, can be called evolution. In contrast, active evolution is truly meaningful, and if it is only passive evolution, it is difficult to cope with changes in the surrounding environment.
Including when dealing with marriage, we still need to evolve, because marriage is not just as simple as two people getting married, there are many variables, there are many problems to face, and without corresponding countermeasures, it is difficult to run the marriage well.
This involves the problem of "spiritual grade" mentioned by Zhou Guoping in "The Starry Sky of Thought", a person with a high spiritual grade is a person who actively evolves, while a person who is passively evolved is a person who is passively evolved, and there is a clear difference between the attitudes of the two people toward marriage.
Just like her friend Xiaohe complained about her ex-husband: "Ask yourself, I really paid a lot for him, sacrificed a lot." I don't blame him for not buying a house, wherever he goes I go with him, and also take out his own money to give him as the capital of the business, and in the end he actually betrayed me, which really disappointed me. I can't get along with such a person, and I don't expect someone like him to compensate me for anything, I can only take back everything that belongs to me on my own. ”
02
Xiaohe belongs to the "active evolution" people mentioned above, but unfortunately, her "strong adaptability" has invisibly become her weakness, she is a bit blind and confident, thinking that she can conquer all men, and the result is a later marriage.
There's nothing inherently wrong with women choosing marriage with confidence, but if you don't have principles when it comes to choosing marriage and blindly think you can conquer all men, that's problematic. Using the same ability to conquer a good man and a scumbag will certainly have different effects.
You conquer good men, you get happiness, and everything can be decided by you. But if you are conquering scumbags, maybe the conquest you think is not really conquering, and men can pretend to be conquered by you and take advantage of the weakness of your blind confidence, thus betraying you and taking advantage of you.
Her ex-husband Ah Feng is not a good man, posing as a pretend to be conquered by her, just planning to use her, which has the situations she mentioned earlier: she thinks she has conquered Ah Feng, so she began to blindly pay, blindly accommodating, it seems that everything is under her control, in fact, she has been kept in the dark, Ah Feng ran to love others, she did not find out in time.
It wasn't until I inadvertently looked at Ah Feng's mobile phone and flipped forward along the text message he had recently sent with the content of "I'm not going home tonight, go to your house", that I realized that I had already suffered betrayal.
Although her previous attitude of choosing marriage and running marriage was relatively blind, when dealing with the sudden problem of betrayal, she was not blind, showed her adaptability, did not mess up in the face of danger, pretended not to know anything, and if nothing happened to transfer the money properly, after everything was arranged properly, she suddenly had difficulty divorcing Ah Feng.
The evidence is in front of him, and Ah Feng has no repudiation and can only accept divorce. He thinks that divorce can also be divided with his true love, only to find that they have no money to share, and they do not have a house, which is equivalent to leaving the house.
For a person with a very low spiritual grade like Ah Feng, there is no money, and life will slowly fall into trouble. And for a person with a high spiritual grade like Xiao He, she already has a strong ability to adapt, and she has left a way out for herself, of course, she will live better than Ah Feng.
03
Xiao He's approach after the end of the couple's relationship seems to be a bit fierce, but combined with her experience, it is not cruel, and she deserves compensation.
Her cleverness lies in the fact that she realized that the relationship between husband and wife was over, and she did not cry, but chose to be restrained, very self-disciplined, and left the way back if nothing happened.
There will definitely be people who feel that her too restrained approach is not angry, and feel that if she has been betrayed, she should make trouble with men and let men lose face. This is actually not good, how do you cry, how to make trouble, even if you make men lose face, the key is what to do after you cry? Don't take it for granted that justice and justice will be on your side, after the fallout you will not be able to leave a way out for yourself, and what you will get when the time comes is far less meaningful than the way you leave a good way out for yourself in advance.
Crying when encountering problems, not the practice of smart people, smart people in the face of betrayal, after the end of the husband and wife, will be like Xiao He's self-discipline and restraint, this can not only leave a good way back for yourself, but also you can rationally analyze what to do after that, as long as you are not chaotic, the road after that will be very smooth. If you mess with yourself, your life will become a pool of mud, and this mess will eventually have to be cleaned up by yourself, and your feelings cannot be good.
Taking a step back, a woman's self-discipline and restraint should not exist in order to cope with the "end of the couple's relationship", but should exist to cope with everything in life. When dealing with marriage, in the stage of choosing marriage and laying the groundwork for marriage, you should adhere to self-discipline and restraint, do not let yourself marry the wrong person, and start a meaningful marriage, so that there will not be so many broken things.