Wen | Wen'er
"Dad, I'm not going home to sleep tonight!"
At the moment of receiving the daughter's text message, Mr. Wang's mood was complicated, his daughter was 18 years old this year, or a high school student, although the legal age has become an adult, but in Mr. Wang's eyes, the daughter is still a child, not familiar with the world. Unfortunately, the daughter has long been in love, after the end of the college entrance examination this year, she and her boyfriend were both admitted to a good university, so the two decided to further sublimate the relationship, and there is today's text message.
In Mr. Wang's home, the child and the parents have nothing to talk about, so the daughter told her parents the first moment she wanted to stay out, although it was not explicitly stated, but everyone knew what would happen. So, Mr. Wang had the next paragraph:
"Daughter, I want you to understand that this is just your new life experience, this is your next step towards maturity, and it belongs to the new emotional gain. Similarly, I also hope that you will think hard before making a decision, there is a price behind the hormonal impulse, whether it is physical or psychological, you have to make a decision calmly. ”
"If you don't regret it, you can let it go."
The words expressed concern for his daughter, but also gave her enough freedom, in China, the daughter's family has always been an emotionally wounded party, Mr. Wang's approach is to remind his daughter and protect each other. Sure enough, after the child saw his father's heavy heart, he understood that he was too impulsive, which may be caused by the adrenaline stimulation after the college entrance examination, quickly calmed down, chose to go home that night, and decided to have further development after maturity.
In reality, families like Mr. Wang are not common, and many children will not inform their parents even if they have an intimate relationship, until two children who lack common sense have an "accident", and parents know that their children have gone further in their emotional relationship. In contrast, the relationship between Mr. Wang's family is more reassuring.
<h1 class="pgc-h-arrow-right" data-track="13" > ▲ In China, "precocious" does more harm than good</h1>
Before many netizens have privately written to me, saying that most of the Japanese girls next door have their first kiss at the age of 14, and a large number of first experiences at the age of 16, why should Chinese children be so conservative? This also starts from the following aspects:
(1) The national conditions are different, and the environment is more harsh on girls
Many people envy the openness of foreign countries, but forget that the national conditions are different, in China, "precocious puberty" to girls caused far more harm than men, especially if there is an "accident", girls are far more vulnerable than foreign countries.
In Japan, emotional problems rarely cause harm, and there is not even the concept of "early love." Japanese girls can get married at the age of 16, while not in China, especially female students, or their reputations will be damaged. Most of the foreign countries are more tolerant of female elections, and the harm afterwards is naturally small, and it cannot be the same as our country.
(2) "Precocious puberty" is not conducive to the physical development of children
You must have heard the "twenty-three, swooping" remarks, for children, the real fixation of physical development is around the age of 23, when the height and physical development will be settled.
If the initial experience is carried out prematurely, the hormones in the child's body will change, and the body's development will be affected by hormones. What could have grown to one meter six eight may stop when it grows to one meter six, and at the same time, the psychological changes brought about by physical changes are enough to affect children's academic performance and future.
▲In the face of "precocious puberty", how should parents face it?
(1) State the pros and cons and give the choice to the child
Mr. Wang's approach is very appropriate, he stated the pros and cons of "precocious puberty" and advised his daughter to be calm and not to ignore her heart because of other people's opinions, after all, the requirements for the first experience were made by the daughter's boyfriend.
If there is a daughter in the family, parents must not reprimand their children, let alone curse with insulting words. Many daughters are more likely to make the wrong extreme choices after losing the support of their parents. Our goal is to lead, not to blame.
(2) Do a good job of protective measures
If the child insists on "precocious puberty", parents should give the child science protection measures in time, do not know nothing to experience, in case of an accident, the injured are still children.
Finally, is there something similar around you? Tell me your solution.
Senior nursery teacher, psychological counselor, author of original parenting comic articles, welcome to pay attention to [Little Fart Baby], you want to know about family education, mental health, child development, fashion education, you can find the answer here!