He Suohuan, a writer of sexual affective psychology, writes love stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
The best feng shui for a family is not how much money it has, how good the family background is, nor how productive one of its children is, but "family harmony".
As the saying goes, "home and prosperity", family harmony always comes first.
You will find that those families who cross the better have this characteristic.
Especially during this New Year, it can be seen at a glance.
Whose family has a good life and who has a bad life is all reflected in some details.
-01
A family that lives well, brothers and sisters are "united"
A cliché story comes to mind.
The father brought his two sons to him.
Then take out a pair of chopsticks and ask his son to break the chopsticks separately.
Obviously, neither son broke their chopsticks.
So the father asked the two brothers to work hard together, and easily broke the chopsticks.
This cheesy story tells people:
Brothers work together to maximize the strength in the family; If the brothers are not aligned, each busy with each other, and no one is willing to help the other, it is difficult to have any good results.
I saw a post from a netizen for the New Year:
His grandfather is 80 years old, and his grandfather has 5 sons and 2 daughters.
Throughout the year, these uncles and aunts will go home to see the old man whenever they have the opportunity.
The old man worked hard all his life, although he did not have a good job and no pension, but he trained 4 college students.
7 children, 4 college students, in those days, it was really a great thing.
More importantly, the old man has a fair life, and he is especially respected in the old family.
No matter who has a conflict, the old man came forward to help solve it with a few words.
Although the seven children live in different places, every year they celebrate the New Year, they go home without moving for the New Year.
Since netizens can remember, the number of New Year's tables at home has been increasing.
In the beginning, a large table can be sat down.
Later, I had to set up 2 tables.
Now that my grandfather is 80 years old, I have set up 3 tables at home for the New Year this year.
7 children, branching out, a large family together.
What is the best state of the family? It's solidarity.
During the New Year, who is united and who is cold and deserted, you can see at a glance.
In my hometown for the New Year, there is an old lady who is quite pitiful.
At the age of 90, her wife died a few years ago, and none of her four children now wants her to live at home.
What is the last resort?
The old lady lived in the garage on the first floor, and even for the New Year, she could not eat the family reunion dinner.
Her New Year's meal is a bowl of dumplings and a small plate of dishes.
None of the children are willing to pay a penny more and contribute more, and even make a fuss during the New Year because the elderly "who should live".
How can a family be so chaotic that it is possible to live well?
-02
Families who live well will "talk well"
Speaking well is a manifestation of family harmony;
Talking well is a sign that a family is getting better.
Only by talking well can the family relationship be harmonious and the sense of family atmosphere become better and better.
1. Parents can speak well in the face of their children
Saw a topic online:
"When I don't go home for the New Year, my parents call every day to express my thoughts; I went home for the New Year, and I wanted to escape before 3 days. ”
Why?
Because I can't stand the accusations of my parents, belittle, nag.
Like what:
The fancy marriage urging of parents, while urging marriage, belittles their own children.
"Look at the little hair you grew up with, everyone is going to have a second child, you are not married yet, are you going to be angry with me?"
"You really don't have a chance, you don't even have the ability to find objects, what skills can you have?"
"Next time you go home, if you come back alone, don't enter the house."
There are also parents who will blame their children for no reason.
Habit of ridicule, habit of comparing children with others, habit of hitting children's self-confidence.
Such family relationships will only make children's feelings for their parents more and more distant.
A bowl of uneven parents will also make the relationship between siblings weaker and weaker.
And when parents talk well, children will become more and more dependent on you and be able to open up to their parents.
What does it mean to speak well?
Listen patiently to your children's ideas, respect your children's choices, do not put too much pressure on your children, and do not accuse and ridicule your children.
2. Children can have a good attitude towards their parents
Regarding filial piety, Confucius said two words: "It is difficult to color."
What do you mean?
Maintaining a good mood and a pleasant look for parents is the most difficult thing.
Have you ever had such an experience?
Before you are 30 or even 25 years old, your parents have a strict attitude towards you, saying that they are not the same, and they have the same attitude as elders.
When you turn 30, your parents' attitude towards you becomes humble and flattering.
What does this shift mean?
Explain that your parents want to see your emotionally stable side and don't want to make you or your small family unhappy because of some of their behavior.
Although between the two generations, there are different ideas on many things; But in the hearts of parents, they all try their best to hope that their children will do well and hope to help their children.
Your attitude towards your parents determines your parents' mood;
Your emotions towards your parents determine the atmosphere of the family.
Only after the New Year can you realize:
Those families who have a good life, the family is full of laughter and happiness;
Those families who are not doing well, the home is full of chicken feathers, quarrels and abuse.
What is Home?
Parents are there, children are safe and happy.
What is a year?
The wanderer returns home, relatives are reunited, and there is laughter.
Today's Topic:
What do you think are the characteristics of a family that lives well?