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Behavior and Consequences
The consequences are what happens after your child acts in a certain way. Such consequences can be positive or negative.
Positive consequences reinforce behavior and increase the probability of its recurrence. Positive consequences include positive attention and praise and rewards for certain good behaviors.
Negative consequences can lead to behaviors that are less likely to happen again. Sometimes you may choose to use negative consequences for a certain behavior — for example, reinforcing reward and punishment rules when simple reminders are no longer working.
You can use both positive and negative consequences to guide your child's behavior. For example:
This is a positive consequence when you compliment your child for sitting at the table eating. Your compliments make this behavior more likely to happen again in the future.
When your child throws a toy and you leave it alone for the whole day. This is a negative consequence, making it unlikely that this behavior will happen again in the future.
Sometimes negative consequences can also lead to unexpected rewards for children. For example, if your child competes with another child for a toy, and you give your child a more fun toy to play with to avoid arguing, your behavior may actually be a disguised act of encouraging your child to continue this scramble. If you can, it's best to avoid this.
Natural consequences
Sometimes it's best for children to experience the natural consequences of their actions. This helps them understand the consequences of their actions. They are likely to learn to take responsibility for what they do.
Here are some examples of self-consequences:
If your child refuses to wear a coat, then he will feel the cold.
If your child doesn't eat, then your child will feel hungry.
If your child doesn't complete their homework, your child won't be able to complete the homework on time.
If your child breaks the rules on the playing field, then your child will be punished.
Of course, while natural consequences may be a useful tool for behavior management, they are not always appropriate in any case. For example, certain dangerous or anti-social behaviors may cause injury to your child or others. Similarly, not doing homework often is not conducive to children's learning.
In these cases, the child's behavior cannot be ignored. You need to intervene in order to teach your child, which may involve the appropriate consequences of use in what situations.
Consequences
The associated consequences are the consequences when you impose the consequences associated with the behavior that you want to block. For example:
If your child is not careful and spills a drink, ask them to wipe the spilled drink clean.
If your child leaves the bike in the driveway, the bike will be confiscated for an hour.
If a child fights over a toy, the toy is confiscated for 10 minutes.
Other types of consequences
Other types of consequences include loss of certain privileges, quiet time, or pause time. These consequences are not necessarily related to negative behavior. But when used well, they give your child the opportunity to stop, think independently about their actions, and learn from their consequences.
Quiet time or time-out is when you keep your child away from activities and other people for a short period of time. When your child needs to take a break from other people or activities to calm down, you can use quiet time and pause time. This method is suitable for children aged 3-6 years.
Loss of privilege refers to the temporary deprivation of a child's favorite object or activity due to an unacceptable behavior. This approach can help children aged six and older understand the consequences of their actions. For example, your child scolds and you order that your child be denied a game console for a period of time. Or if the child does not cooperate on some things, then he may lose the privilege of football training.
How to put the consequences into action
When you need to put the consequences into action, here are three simple steps:
Hold your horses
If you are calm, your child is more likely to remain calm, which makes it easier for them to think and reflect on their actions. If you're angry, your child may be distracted by your anger.
When behaviors occur, give your child a chance to change their behavior
For example, "Frankie, if you cut in again, then you're going to miss your turn in the next round." The exception is when the child violates important family rules. For example, 'We're all gently touching each other in this family.' When you're slapped, it means you need to go straight to pause.
Let the child understand the consequences at their own risk
For example, "Frankie, I've warned you not to cut in line. Now you can exit this round. "If your child thinks they might be able to get away with the consequences, then the strategy becomes less powerful."
Let the Consequences Work for You: Tips
One of the most important things about the consequences is to use them as a response to the child's behavior, not to the child's own. For example, let your child know that the consequence is a violation or violation of family rules, not because the child is disobedient. That way your child will feel loved and safe – even if you're using the consequences.
Here are more tips on getting the most out of the consequences:
Preserve consequences for children over three years of age
Children under the age of three don't really understand the consequences, especially if they don't understand the link between their actions and the outcomes of those actions. The consequence strategy is unfair to them.
Use the consequences fairly according to the child's needs and abilities
Depending on your child's age, you may have different consequences, but if you think your child is old enough to withstand negative consequences, it's important to use them the same way for everyone. Even young children can feel uneasy if they see other children being treated differently from them.
Consistent use of consequences
If you use the consequences in the same way and with the same behavior every time, your child will know what to expect. For example, you might always use a tap to pause.
Explain the consequences in advance
If your child knows what to expect and why, they are more likely to accept the consequences and are less likely to get angry about it. For example, "When you don't share your toys, the toys are put away."
Keep the consequences short
Keeping it short means your kids don't have to wait a long time to show you that they can perform well. For example, if you turn off the TV for 10 minutes because kids are fighting for the remote, they will soon have another chance that they will solve the problem in a different way.
In addition, the long-term consequences may end up being worse for you than for your children. For example, a child who doesn't ride a bike for a week is likely to get bored and grumpy!
Give consequences immediately after the act has occurred
If you do need to use consequences and you have warned your child, it is best to have consequences happen as soon as possible after the behavior has occurred.
However, if you feel very angry, it is better not to give immediate consequences, as you may be overreacting or being too harsh. Instead, you can say, 'I'm angry right now.' We will discuss this again in a few minutes when I feel more calm. ”
bibliography
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Jarman, R. (2015). Finetuning behaviour management in young children. Australian Family Physician, 44(12), 896-899. Retrieved 8 October 2020
Llewellyn, L.L., Boon, H.J.., & Lewthwaite, B.E. (2018). Effective behaviour management strategies for Australian Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander students: A literature review. Australian Journal of Teacher Education, 43(1).
Marleau, B., Lanovaz, M.J., Gendron, A., Higbee, T.S., & Morin, D. (2019). Using interactive web training to teach parents to select function-based interventions for challenging behaviour: A preliminary study. Journal of Intellectual & Developmental Disability, 44(4), 492-496.
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