We often say that love can overcome some, can overcome all difficulties. People in love will also firmly believe that their love will be able to go to the end and have a happy and perfect ending.
In love, we will understand that seemingly solid love will actually appear unusually fragile in many cases, some people who love each other will be separated because of some misunderstandings, and some people who love each other will choose to break up because of a momentary impulse.
Just like in the movie "Former Raiders", two people who were originally in love with each other broke up because of a momentary impulse. Under various misunderstandings, the two people are angry in their hearts and are unwilling to take the initiative to reconcile, one thinks that the other will not go, and the other thinks that the other will stay. But in the end, the other party did not do as he imagined, coupled with some misunderstandings, the breakup became a fact, and it was irreparable.
Therefore, in love, we must not only know how to understand each other's thoughts, but also know how to manage our own love, to know under what circumstances we should take the initiative to contact each other, and under what circumstances we must learn to be cold.
Some people will feel that as long as they have always maintained their enthusiasm, they will definitely let the other party feel their love, so as to keep their happiness. However, people are suspicious that there are some things you have not experienced, and things will not develop as you think.
It is like some women have maintained enthusiasm in order to retain the heart of men, and take the initiative to pay for men, take the initiative to cater to men's preferences, and become the empathetic, virtuous and gentle person in a man's mind. It's just that what women don't know is that even if you are good, you may not be able to keep a man's heart.
"Red Rose" has such a lyric: "What is not obtained is always in turmoil, but the favored are fearless." Love is like this, the more you favor a person, the more unscrupulous the other party is in front of you. If you are cold to him and let him not guess your thoughts, he will spend a lot of energy to please you and take the initiative to pay for you.
Marie Curie said: "It would be disappointing if one bases one's interest in life entirely on the stormy emotional impulses of love." ”
Women should remember that when men do not take the initiative to find you, do not rush to question, do not take the initiative to pay, but to be clear about these three things, so that you win.
01 He doesn't contact you because he's too busy or doesn't care about you at all.
Bacon said, "Love is the most fragile link in all human feelings." ”
When a man loves you deeply, in fact, you don't have to remind him, he can take the initiative to do a lot of things for you, and he will also take the initiative to understand your hobbies and care about your feelings. Such love does not need to be reminded, and naturally does not require women to take the initiative to ask for it, or to question anything.
On the contrary, if a man does not love you so much, then this love will appear very fragile, often only need some small things, can make your relationship collapse in an instant, from the closest lover to the strangest passerby.
When a man does not take the initiative to contact you, you must learn to analyze and speculate on the man's heart. From his tone, from your recent time together, to feel that the reason why he did not contact you is because he is really busy and does not have time to contact you; or he deliberately makes some excuse to prevaricate you, and does not care about you at all.
The woman understands this matter and knows how to handle your relationship next.
02 If you take the initiative, he will love you more or will he be indifferent.
When a woman loves a man very much, she naturally hopes that two people can love each other well, protect this feeling well, and make this relationship more solid. It's just that women have to learn to guard your feelings in an appropriate way, rather than blindly, without thinking and reflecting, to give, to sacrifice everything.
I still remember hearing from a friend that a girl was with her boyfriend for more than two years, she thought that the two would definitely get married, but the boyfriend was very cold to her for a while, and rarely contacted her, when she asked the reason, the boyfriend only said that he was very busy.
The girl thought, since this is the case, then she will take the initiative to care more about men. Later, the girl learned that during that time, her boyfriend had secretly kissed a girl, and the two of them still had a good chat.
So women must know that when a man does not take the initiative to contact you, there must be a reason, these reasons men will not tell you directly, can only let the woman guess for herself. In such a situation, the woman should know that if you take the initiative to contact him, it will make him love you more, or continue to be indifferent. Knowing this, women no longer have to blindly waste their enthusiasm.
03 In his heart, what position do you occupy?
When Xiaoting was with her boyfriend, her boyfriend's mother disliked her very much, and it was obvious. At first, the boyfriend told her not to worry about that, and his mother would accept her in the future, but she didn't know her yet. At first, Xiaoting still believed her boyfriend's words and stopped worrying about those things.
However, after a period of time, Xiaoting found that her boyfriend's attitude has changed a lot, often for several days will not take the initiative to contact her, when she takes the initiative to send messages, the boyfriend always has a variety of excuses.
Later, under Xiaoting's questioning, the boyfriend said that his mother would not allow them to come and go anymore, and he had to listen to his mother. Knowing this, Xiaoting also understood in her heart that in the man's heart, her own was not important.
Isakovsky said: "Love, it is not one heart to beat another heart, but a spark of two hearts colliding together." ”
Good love must be a two-way street, and each other is willing to pay and protect. If a man often does not take the initiative to contact you, women must be clear about one thing, that is, in the man's heart, what position you occupy.
Bacon said: "Excessive pursuit of love will inevitably reduce the value of man himself." ”
In love, when a person's attitude changes greatly and is no longer so active, there must be a reason. For women, when encountering such a situation, do not face it too blindly, but learn to analyze, and must be clear about these three things, in order to better grasp the initiative of love.