International No Children Day is celebrated annually on 30 April
Also known as "No Slap Day"
Advocate that people do not corporal punishment of children
And there's an old Chinese saying
"Filial Piety Under the Stick"
But can sticks really hit good kids?
Surveys show that more than 80% of parents have beaten their children
In late April 2022, the Southern Morning Post conducted an online questionnaire survey of 1,482 respondents under the title of "Do you corporally punish a child?", and as many as 83% of the respondents said they had ever physically punished a child.
Corporal punishment can cause psychological trauma to children. Southern Morning Post reporter He Dingjian painted
In the survey, 33% of respondents believe that corporal punishment has benefits, and parents who believe that there are no benefits, uncertainties, no benefits and no harms are 28%, 28% and 11% respectively. This means that relatively more parents surveyed believe that corporal punishment is beneficial.
Huang Ling, deputy director of the Spiritual (Psychological) Clinical rehabilitation center of the Autonomous Region People's Hospital, is worried about this: in today's society, competition pressure is high, minors have a high incidence of depression, corporal punishment will only backfire, and "filial piety under the stick" is not applicable at the moment.
Excessive parental stress may increase the probability of corporal punishment
Ms. Yang, 35, has always had a question in her heart: she has never been beaten when she was a child, why do she frequently slap her face in front of her children?
Liang Yemei, associate professor of the School of Education of Guilin University, is one of the few scholars in Guangxi who has done special research on "parental corporal punishment of young children". She found corporal punishment to be "hereditary," but didn't rule out counterexamples.
Some parents will not hit their children because of childhood trauma, but excessive economic and work pressure can easily lead to parents' emotional loss of control, thereby increasing the probability of corporal punishment of children.
"In recent years, there have been many studies at home and abroad on the behavior of adolescents subjected to corporal punishment, and the conclusions have been clear." Liang Yemei said that the preschool period is a critical period for infants and young children to establish attachment-parent-child relationships with their parents, and the frequency and severity of corporal punishment will affect the establishment of good attachment relationships to a certain extent, and then children may have bad behaviors and personality in adolescence or adulthood.
Parents believe that corporal punishment can make children impressed by mistakes. Southern Morning Post reporter He Dingjian painted
When Huang Ling channeled the parent-child relationship, she often heard parents say: "I also know that my method is simple and rude. Huang Ling said: "Nowadays, parents are under great pressure at work, often handing over their children to the elderly or sending training classes, resulting in estrangement of parent-child relationships and simple and rough communication." ”
The trauma of corporal punishment is like a wall full of holes
In the survey, 50% of respondents said that after hitting their children, they would feel ashamed or regretful.
Huang Zhicheng, a national second-level psychological counselor, told a fable story: a philosopher suggested that a grumpy father nail a nail to the wall every time he lost his temper, and pull out a nail after the father pulled out all the nails.
"I don't really want to talk about the remedy after corporal punishment, because trauma is like a hole in the wall, although it is not perceived in the short term, but it is already there." Huang Zhicheng wants to say to the parents who have already beaten their children, please give the children a sincere apology, reflect on themselves, and let the children feel the respect and love of their parents.
When asked whether corporal punishment of children will continue in the future, 71% of respondents chose to "subjectively do not want to, but may not be able to bear it."
Huang Ling said that there must be a better way than corporal punishment, which tests the wisdom of parents, such as the use of 3-minute emotional control method, turning negative language into positive language.
"Massage corporal punishment" is controversial
In response to the situation of "not wanting to hit the child, but can't help it", netizens have their own strange tricks.
On April 26, in the parent group of a primary school in Qingxiu District, Nanning City, some parents shared the information of "Chinese medicine teaches you to beat your child correctly", saying that using the ring ruler to draw the palm of the hand at least the acupoint area can "help" the child to nourish the yin and diarrhea; pinching the hip ring jumping hole can strengthen the spleen and improve the qi.
▲The "massage corporal punishment" circulating on the Internet.
"A child's ass isn't as safe as you think." Tao Jin, chairman of the Guangxi Association for the Blind and attending physician, said that there are also many sciatic nerves in the buttocks, and parents may cause irreversible harm when they do not understand the acupuncture points of their children's bodies and do not know the severity of their hands.
"People who think they can take 'massage corporal punishment' may forget that corporal punishment is accompanied by verbal violence." The mother of a 5-year-old recalled that the physical punishment she suffered as a child and the physical pain can no longer be remembered, but the verbal damage has far-reaching effects.
In fact
Corporal punishment should not be a means of education
Because there is no love
It needs to be expressed in terms of violence
Edit on duty
Shake