Author/Child
Everyone lives in the world and has their own way of life.
You can disagree, but you must learn to respect. To put it bluntly, everyone comes to the world to go through this suffering, and in the end, they still have to face many things alone, and the snow that falls on individuals is always impossible for others to see. And as for the final result, it can only be self-commitment.
Therefore, no matter what choice is made, as long as others are reasonable and legal, and they are willing to bear it, as an outsider, they have no right to accuse others of their words and deeds.
There are 3 kinds of people like this, they don't need any friends, and the affection is also very indifferent.
01. People who like to be alone;
People who like to be alone generally have their own small world in their hearts, in this small world, they are free and relaxed, and they can talk to their souls.
Therefore, they often stay alone, do not have any boring feelings, and are always able to find a way to be self-sufficient, rather than needing to find their own sense of identity through a lively and group way.
On the other hand, people who like to be alone are either strong in their hearts and no longer care about the sounds of the outside world, or they are a little socially afraid and tend to stay alone at any time.
But either way, when the end result is a preference for being alone, the person definitely doesn't need any friends anymore. Even I know a girl who has become more socially repulsive at this stage, most of the time she wants to be alone and quiet, does not want to go out and make new people, even the original relationship does not want to maintain, good friends ask her out shopping, she always pushes and pushes.
She would rather be alone at home painting and writing and feel the quiet passage of time than spend time with friends and pass these boring times.
Of course, everyone's tendency in life is different, some people love to live in groups, and some people are keen to be alone, no matter what kind of result, live your own life while respecting the choices of others.
02. People whose interests are paramount;
On the surface, such a person may seem to have many friends, especially when he himself is more profitable, but if you really look deeply, you will find that they do not have any friends.
Because true friends are meant to be able to make friends.
Friends who come because of profit will also disperse because of profit.
But in the end, this is the choice of people themselves, and the way they initially make friends is to see if there is value that can be used in the other party, either this value is direct or invisible.
I used to have a colleague and she was such a person.
She didn't have a good friend, and many of the relationships she took the initiative to break. For example, after going to college, she never contacted her high school classmates again, and after she graduated from college and went to graduate school, she did not hesitate to delete many college classmates, including her former roommate.
The few people she left behind were either from well-off families or personally very powerful. She thinks that such people may be able to help themselves in the future, and other people who she thinks have no value and whose hometown is not in one place have all been deleted once they graduate.
And she is in the unit, but also only with those who have better conditions at home, will take the initiative to say hello, but also help others to do things, if the family conditions are not good, she generally will not take care of. She will measure a person's value according to a series of consumption levels such as personal clothing, as well as the bag she usually carries, and then decide her attitude according to the value.
Such a person, to put it bluntly, is more snobbish, this kind of snobbery naturally cannot be only manifested in friendship, and family affection is no exception.
Of course, this is someone else's value, and it is better not to conspire with each other.
03. Have not felt any warmth, have long been accustomed to being alone;
Some people, they like to be alone, not acquired, but from an early age, and may even be caused by some external factors.
In the past, I answered a question online, probably about whether it is better to have only one child or more children. I started from my own situation, because I have a sister who said many benefits of having more children, two people can always trust and help each other, which is an irreplaceable blood relationship of friendship.
Later, I said that if I had the conditions in the future, I might want to have two.
Then, a girl came to me for a private chat, saying that the reason why I had a beautiful yearning and expectation for family affection was because I grew up in a relatively happy home, and there was no dog blood story. And she's different. Her family affection is very indifferent, her parents are such people, so her relationship with her sister after she grew up has been plain and estranged, that is, if there is nothing to do, the two people may not contact each other several times a year.
She had never felt the warmth of affection since she was a child, and she had long been accustomed to being alone and digesting everything by herself.
Therefore, this attitude of hers has basically been substituted into her friendship at a very early age, and she treats the friends around her as well, not really how attentive, nor does she have a friend who plays well, there is none, she usually eats alone, shopping alone, more often if you don't want to shop, you are choosing online shopping.
So, what she's worried about now is that she doesn't seem to be able to handle emotions in intimate relationships and doesn't know how to treat others with an attitude.
This leads to her love affair is not smooth, or the other party says that she is too perfunctory, too cold, when she wants to take the initiative to change, but it may also be too good, obviously become flattering, and eventually end up in failure.
And this kind of solitude, although there is some helplessness in it, but at this age, it is really difficult to let her change.
Therefore, it can only continue to identify with the self.
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