Xu Luxi will never forget that day.
On June 24, 1986, the day before Mr. Deng Jia's Day, the People's Daily and the People's Liberation Army Daily published a long report on the front page of "Deng Jiaxian, the Founder of the Two Bombs."
After 28 years of evaporation in the world, it suddenly landed in the air, and the whole world was in an uproar.
However, for Xu Luxi, she was miserable and self-aware, as a medical professor, she clearly knew that farewell was in front of her.
On the bed of the 301 Hospital, she accompanied her lover day and night, and her tired face could not hide the bitterness in her heart.
In the face of declassification, in the face of the newspaper's large report, the two were speechless, but there were thousands of tears.
Gently hugging him, wiping sweat and wiping tears, for more than 20 years, she hadn't taken such close care of him. But unfortunate fate, both met, but hurried, how can this not make people's liver and intestines cut off?
Deng married Xu Luxi first
A month later, with endless attachment and tears leaving a sentence "it hurts you", Deng Jiaxian, who was only 62 years old, died of severe cancer and hemorrhage all over his body.
Embracing his lover and clutching his slowly cooling hands, Xu Luxi asked over and over again in desperate crying: "Is this the case after more than 20 years of waiting?" ”
She couldn't believe that the husband who made a loud noise in the East had just fallen down, and the reunion had passed away like a dream, how could it not be heartbreaking!
Back then, they used to be so enviable. Parents are professors of Peking University, the same family lineage has created the same characteristics, in the Peking University campus, a pair of young people have a heart to belong, the seeds of love began to sprout.
In 1953, young talents who returned from studying in the United States and gentle and intelligent female college students were happily married. At that time, Deng Jiaxian was 29 years old and Xu Luxi was 25 years old.
A year later, a daughter is born; three years later, a son is born, and the small family is lively and interesting.
"It was 5 years of really happy days", Deng Jiaxian, who has a cheerful and versatile personality, has a wide range of hobbies, swimming, skating, shaking empty bamboo, and playing table tennis. In his spare time, he also likes to sing, listen to plays, climb mountains, and watch flowers.
Under his influence and drive, Xu Luxi, who is quiet, also fell in love with all this. She listened to him sing "Ode to Joy" in German, English and Russian countless times; when she came out of the theater, he would dress up in green clothes and sing "Su SanQi Xie", which was exquisite; more elegant and interesting, the two exchanged "Oxford Dictionary", and the couple had a deep affection, comparable to Li Zhao.
"Deng Jiaxian can always intentionally or unintentionally create this sense of happiness for his family", after five years of marriage, their love and romance are like glue, the factory, the Summer Palace, and the Beihai Park have left a sweet figure, and a pair of blue people walk hand in hand on the Wanshou Mountain, such as the hook moon.
"Very upright, very decent, very down-to-earth", it is inspired by these noble qualities, in Xu Luxi's eyes, Deng Jiaxian is the kind of person who "can be entrusted for a lifetime".
Mr. and Mrs. Deng Jiaxian and a pair of children
Happy days are always fleeting.
One day in the middle of the summer of 1958, this day that completely changed the trajectory of Deng Jiaxian's life came unexpectedly.
That night, the moon in the sky was round and bright, and in other words, they would definitely take a walk under the moon. However, today, Deng Jiaxian went to bed early uncharacteristically, and the two people with heavy hearts turned over and could not sleep.
Watching the moonlight move little by little in front of the bed, Xu Luxi couldn't help but ask, "What's wrong with you today?" ”
Deng Jia first took her hand, stared at the moon outside the window, and said solemnly, "I want to transfer work." ”
"Where's the transfer?"
"You can't say that."
"What do you do?"
"That can't be said either."
"You give me a mailbox number and I'll correspond with you."
"It doesn't work."
Pain and worry accompanied Xu Luxi through a sleepless night. Outside the window, the full moon is lonely, don't have a deep affection of ten thousand weights.
Love is one, but also independent, Deng Jia is first an oak tree, Xu Luxi is the kapok near him, love his mighty body, but also love the position he insists on.
For the sentence "Do this well, my life will be very valuable, even if it is worth dying for it", her answer is: I support you.
For these four words, Xu Luxi dedicated his life.
In the days when he had just accepted the mission, Deng Jia first disappeared during the day and did not return mysteriously until very late, and the sudden increase in burden made him often anxious.
Whenever this happened, Xu Luxi stood quietly behind him and accompanied him to listen to the Symphony of Destiny.
"It would be unimaginable for me to leave this world without creating anything", the musician's voice traveled through time and space, and the tenderness of his wife made Deng Lianxian suddenly increase his courage and strength.
Serving the country with one's own body is not what I have always dreamed of?
"I can't take care of things at home, everything is entrusted to you!" Leaving behind four old people, two children who were not more troublesome, and a lover who had just turned 30, a year later, Deng Jiaxian and Xu Luxi hurriedly said goodbye and completely disappeared from the sight of relatives and friends.
Since then, "a night of hidden memories, the two places are far from knowing", there is no return date and no commitment, Xu Luxi began a long wait.
However, unspeakable grievances inevitably came. The ill-intentioned speculation of others; the misunderstanding of friends who do not know the truth; the parents want to ask but can't ask, and they want to stop talking; they are confronted with a pair of children who ask, "What about my father?" "She's even more mixed.
Xu Luxi silently endured all this until the day 6 years later, the Gobi Desert rose up to shock the world with mushroom clouds!
In October 1964, the first atomic bomb on the mainland was successfully detonated
All doubts became reality. However, when everyone was cheering for this feat, Xu Luxi did not rejoice, only deeper worry.
Coming from a medical background, she understands better than anyone how harmful the study of nuclear weapons is to the body.
Everything was kept secret, Deng Jiaxian did not leak any "chance", and she could only keep her original promise: support.
When he misses him, he will appear in his dreams in time, or take the children on a bicycle to an outing, or sing the song "Bugs Fly" with her:
"The black sky hangs low, and the bright stars follow.
Bugs fly bugs fly, who are you thinking about?
The stars in the sky wept, and the roses on the earth withered.
Cold wind blows cold wind blowing, as long as there is you to accompany.
The insects fly and the flowers sleep, and the pairs are beautiful.
Not afraid of dark, only afraid of heartbreak, whether tired or not.
Regardless of the southeast, northwest, worms fly..."
Years later, she learned from Deng Jiaxian's colleagues that at that time, Deng Jiaxian was so busy that he often slept on the floor of the computer room and his clothes, sometimes all night.
In his dreams, there are often two pictures: one is the mushroom cloud rising, and the other is the smiling faces of Xu Luxi and the children.
Year after year, because the wife can't stand the loneliness, the family of the researcher, many have a crisis. Xu Luxi told himself: "He is insisting, and I will persist!" ”
For 28 years, Deng Jiaxian hid his name and generously devoted himself to the desert, even if he occasionally returned home, he was in a hurry.
Xu Luxi's heart was always on his throat, and such a long-term cruel torture was not something that ordinary people could appreciate.
"Independence is in the middle of nowhere, and the autumn leaves of the sycamore are falling", what she bears is the weight that the soul cannot bear.
What was even more unbearable was the inevitable arrival of Xu Luxi's worries.
In 1985, Deng Jia returned first, and this time, he did not leave. When parting, the spirit is distributed, and the sideburns are like frost when they are together.
When the golden wind and jade dew met, they should have won countless victories in the world, but they created people, because of their long-term work in the front line of nuclear testing, the radiation had penetrated deep into the bone marrow, and he had come to no more.
On the day of the award to the nuclear weapons researchers, Deng Jiaxian, who was already seriously ill, did not go, he wanted to go back to his home, to accompany his lover, this may be the last reunion.
Deng Jiaxian and Xu Luxi
On the table, there was a meal carefully prepared by Xu Luxi. But what the two men felt was only wordless sorrow.
After the meal, by the "Bayi Lake", Deng Jiaxian sat quietly with Xu Luxi and looked at each other with deep affection. In his eyes, she was still so charming, and they seemed to be back to the sweet days of the early days of marriage.
In the distance, a song came clearly: "I'm going there, there's no war there." I'm going there, and there's the fragrance of chrysanthemums blooming. I'm going there, and there's my good girl there..."
This moment, although it is a momentary bloom, is like an eternal star, illuminating life.
"The highest state of love is mutual understanding and mutual support, only in this way can we have the strength to pass any obstacle in difficult times!" Xu Luxi explained this with unshakable love until death.
On July 29, 1986, leaving too many regrets and too many confusions, the 62-year-old Deng Jiaxian hurried away.
However, after Deng Jiaxian's deeds were published, there were some voices that made Xu Luxi feel sad, and many college students saw Deng Jiaxian's experience and said: "This is a fool, too stupid!" If you stay abroad, I don't know how much money you can make, and you won't die so early! ”
A lot of people are questioning: "Is he worth it?" ”
Xu Luxi also wanted to know the answer. In the past 28 years, where has Deng Jiaxian been and what has he done? Because of the strict discipline, he did not write a single letter, did not bring back a single piece of paper.
Xu Luxi decided that she wanted to make all this clear, write out what Deng Jia should have left and did not leave, and she wanted the world to know about him!
She loved him and the cause he had been obsessed with, and for the sake of that unfinished emotion and longing, she couldn't wait to know how mysterious the field he had worked for all his life was.
From the relevant physical knowledge to the atomic bomb hydrogen bomb, in order to understand those jerky professional terms, Xu Luxi's inquiry path has been meticulous.
From medicine to physics, there is a chasm that is difficult to cross, and what supports her is love.
In order to let Deng Jiaxian's wind and personality pass on to the world, in his old age, Xu Luxi embarked on a difficult interview road.
In the first six years, she independently completed the biography "Two Bullets Founding Father Deng Jiaxian", a total of 87,000 words; in the second six years, she led her two children to publish the 170,000-word "Biography of Deng Jiaxian"; followed by "Deng Jiaxian Picture Biography" and "Deng Jiaxian Anthology" came out one after another, and Deng Jiaxian was vividly presented to the public.
At that time, Xu Luxi was already a 75-year-old man.
"I understand what he needs, he can afford me, I can afford him." There are no bold words, but the words are moving.
With the passage of time and great changes, the only constant is the eternal love.
The hut is still the same, the furnishings are still the same, she said: "Only by not abandoning in this way can you feel his presence." ”
She knew that he wasn't leaving, he was right next to her.
"A heavy head" at the desk, he is lying down;
On the old-fashioned cloth couch, he was talking and laughing;
In the dream, while looking at her affectionately, he asked: "You must take care of yourself!" ”
As long as someone remembers you, you are immortal.
Two bombs founded by Deng Jiaxian