Today's video may be a bit long, but I think all girls should understand or learn about these kinds of thinking, really can not only help you take fewer detours in love, but also have great gains for your personal growth and cognition!
To put it simply, it is to never regard love as the whole of life, but to focus on its own development.
In life, you will rarely see a boy who is willing to play the role of a housewife, or give up his future for a girl, although they may say "this is creating a common future for us", but in fact, even without you, without love, he still needs to take responsibility for his future.
So girls, don't be obsessed with the commitment that the other party gives you, and ignore your own development, you must make a future plan for yourself, when you have a clear goal, then you will have your own rhythm in life, you will not be easily affected by external things, but also to a certain extent to avoid your gains and losses in love.
For example, if you want to buy a house before marriage, or if you want to develop your career to a certain height at the age of thirty, then your goal is clear, and those that have nothing to do with the goal can be selectively abandoned, such as whether to pay off the mortgage with the boy, or to change for him, give up their career plans, and so on.
I said that most women's minds are emotional, and when something unsatisfactory happens, it will be plagued by emotions in the first place.
I met many girls in the consultation process, are particularly easy to be emotional, love to say harsh words, often are not able to do their own harsh words, the mouth is fast, after saying it and especially regretful, can not hold the breath, people only a day ignored, they pounced on apologize, admit mistakes, ask for forgiveness ... This kind of inconsistent action has to come several times a day, and the other party feels all the information that you don't love yourself.
You can't even control your own emotions, how can you affect each other's emotions?
So emotional stability is really very important, because emotional stability means that you are a high-energy person who can hold up the field, but anyone who can hold the field and hold the scene is occupying a high position and has high value in the relationship.
Because an emotionally stable woman is not humble when facing a man, and even with a little casualness, giving the man the feeling that he can't control and can't control you, then he needs to be more careful when facing you.
So in the feelings, you must learn to calm down first, and then love, if you feel that it is difficult to calm down, then you may wish to focus on how to solve practical problems first, rather than blindly venting emotions.
What is home awareness? It is up to me whether this relationship will continue to be decided.
I have seen many girls who come to me for consultation before, they are very passive in terms of feelings, and when they fall in love, they always think about how to guide each other to love themselves and spend more money for themselves, but these are actually wool thinking, which seems to be putting themselves in a higher position, in fact, it is to give the initiative to each other, once the other party no longer pays and gives, then she will completely fall into a state of collapse, and do not know how to continue.
Therefore, if you want to occupy a high position in your feelings, you must have your own home field awareness, clearly have your own set of love rules and rhythms, and cannot let men kill themselves and create various ambiguous experiences that make them addicted.
For example, what kind of boy can be your boyfriend, what kind of work can get your pay, once he has what kind of performance in the relationship, you must firmly refuse, etc., all these standards and rules must be determined by yourself, rather than being led by the nose of the other party.
The second is not to wait passively, I said that passive waiting people have no choice, you have to have your own home field awareness, it should be that you go to pick others, to kill others, to stimulate other people's emotions, to the end, if he likes you, you can consider continuing to be with him, if you get to the end, he doesn't like you, it doesn't matter, quickly change a goal.
We have to learn to master the rhythm, rather than passive waiting, this point should really be a good study with men, men in the ambiguous stage is full of "home awareness", they are in this stage just like you go to the mall to buy bags, are here to see, there to pick, everywhere to ask for prices, can be interested, but does not mean that you must buy, understand this way of thinking, you can not be randomly stirred, understand?
Psychological test: Test the sentence your ex most wants to say to you
1. Do you argue over small things when you're together?
Yes, I often feel tired —2
Rarely quarrel over small things—2
Occasionally, but soon reconciled —3
2. Do you think you are a person who likes to self-reflect and is willing to correct mistakes?
Yes —3
Not —4
3. Will he or she take the initiative to tell you his troubles?
It is often said that -5
Not much to say —4
4. Would you tell your parents about the process of your relationship?
Everything is too big or small, and I often complain to my parents -6
Occasionally they ask and say —5
Hardly to say, nothing to say —5
5. Faced with what you want, how much energy are you willing to put into acquiring it?
Everything follows fate, and it is mine in the end--7
Try hard, maybe you can succeed - 6
Do my best, I want to get --B
6. Did you break up because of a third party?
Yes—A
No —7
7. Did the other party take the initiative to contact you after the breakup?
Yes—D
No—C