Habitual stupidity is a pedagogically common and important phenomenon.
Scientists have done an experiment: put a big fish into a pool with many small fish, and the big fish eat small fish every day, which is very cool.
After some time, the scientists covered the big fish with a glass bottle and put it in the water. At the beginning, the big fish saw the small fish and pounced on it to bite. But each time it hit the glass bottle, slowly, the big fish reduced the number of collisions.
Later, the big fish did not have any collision movement at all. When the scientists removed the bottle from the big fish, the big fish sank directly into the water and did not move.
Even if a small fish swims around its mouth and touches it, it no longer opens its mouth. In the end, the big fish was starved to death by itself. After reading this story, your subconscious reaction may be:
This fish is really stupid to die.
Are big fish really stupid? In fact, after experiencing countless encounters with the wall, the big fish began to doubt their fishing ability, and finally completely despaired.
Even though the environment has changed, the deep sense of powerlessness eventually kills it.
American early childhood educator Kaitz has found a similar phenomenon in children, which he calls "habitual stupidity".
He said that in the process of learning, many children will gradually have doubts about learning for some reasons, and thus lose self-confidence. In the eyes of others, they will feel that they are "getting more and more stupid".
A psychology professor at Stanford University also pointed out that the family plays a decisive factor in what traits a child can achieve and what kind of character he will have in the future.
In life, parents have some practices and bad habits, just like putting a cover on their children, pushing their children step by step to an increasingly stupid situation. Therefore, parents must not ignore some of the habits of words and deeds in daily life.
1. Pulling seedlings encourages growth, and the inability to feel frustrated the child's self-confidence
Impart knowledge prematurely and ignore the child's own feelings. In order to let their children win at the starting line, many parents prematurely explore their children's various potentials. Ask your child to challenge something that goes beyond their peers.
Some parents also make themselves smart, and in order to prevent their children from being proud and complacent, they set excessively high goals. Many children try their best to make their parents happy, completely unaware that their abilities are limited.
I don't know that the goals set by parents are unreasonable for themselves, and after trying their best, they always fail. So I felt very frustrated, and I felt that it was my own problem.
After failing each attempt, the child becomes less and less confident in himself.
If the child rarely gets the feeling of "winning" for a long time, the feeling of self is really terrible.
Eventually he may become a cowering and clumsy child.
2. Parents stop growing up and neither learn nor read
Seeing this, many parents may feel inexplicable. I came back from work one day, all kinds of chores.
Where comes the time and energy to study and read. Besides, I don't like to read books, I love to watch TV, what does it have to do with children? After all, children also understand that watching TV is a way to relax.
Indeed, about this article, many parents feel that it is not easy to be a good parent. But everyone is also very clear in their hearts that the words and deeds and realms of parents directly determine the height of children.
Even if parents take a book and read it in front of their children, they can create a good learning environment for their children.
After all, there is nothing better and more cost-effective than reading to exercise the brain.
If the child follows the parents to brush various "short videos", immerse themselves in the "garbage-type happiness".
Children do not like to use their brains for a long time, which will naturally accelerate the decline of the brain.
It is only a matter of time before smart children become dull and look stupid. Of course, the scope of learning here is relatively wide, but parents take the time to read a book and share an inspirational movie.
You can also purchase various online courses, or participate in various offline courses, which are constantly growing.
3. Overeat your child at every meal
Is it also a sin to eat too much? Yes, otherwise why did the ancestors always say"three points are extremely cold, seven points are subsistence."
There is also a folk saying that "eat too much, support stupidity". That's scientifically based, and research proves:
People eat too much for a long time, brain cells are not active, people are lazy to think, and often fall asleep.
Over time, brain cells will age prematurely, followed by a decrease in intelligence. It can also lead to cerebral arteriosclerosis, and people are getting more and more stupid.
However, there is a point to pay attention to, although the breakfast is too full and not good. But given that breakfast has a significant impact on a child's intellectual development. So breakfast should not only be full but also well eaten.
4. Let your child stay up late with him
Everyone knows that children in the growth and development period cannot stay up late. But there are always some parents who love to stay up late to watch TV, play mahjong or other entertainment activities.
In order to keep their children from disturbing themselves, some parents will throw their children a mobile phone. Or simply let the child stay up late with him to chase the drama. In the long run, children often stay up late, and the body's metabolism is chaotic and it is easy to gain weight. After the immunity declines, the body's metabolism is problematic and the endocrine system is also out of balance. It will also cause the decline of brain cells to accelerate, and even the smartest children will gradually become confused and look stupid.
5. Yelling and swearing at children
Harvard professors have done experiments, and the study found that children who are often yelled at by their parents are prone to brain damage, that is, they will become stupid.
In 2009, a panel of Harvard professors, Teicher, analyzed the brains of a group of young people who had experienced verbal violence by their parents and found that the connections between the Wernicke region and the prefrontal lobe of these young people were reduced.
The Wernicke district is responsible for the processing of language, and the prefrontal lobe is responsible for memory, judgment, thinking, analysis and manipulation. The less connected these two areas are, the worse people's language comprehension becomes.
In 2011, they conducted a brain study of a group of 18- to 25-year-olds who had been treated with severe verbal violence by their parents, and found that verbal violence increased the volume of gray matter in their left temporal gyrus to 14%. The left upper temporal gyrus is associated with the brain's linguistic intelligence, and the larger this area, the greater it is, the lower the linguistic IQ.
That is to say, long-term yelling by parents will cause children to suffer brain damage, memory loss, and natural stupidity.
6. There is only time to study, no time to play
Only allowed to learn, not allowed to play, this is of course an extreme phenomenon. Some time ago, I heard about an incident in which a mother got into a fight with her daughter who was in junior high school.
From childhood to adulthood, this daughter listened to her mother's arrangement and spent her spare time in cram classes and interest classes. The achievements have also made my mother very proud. But after entering junior high school, the child suddenly announced that he did not want to learn.
No matter how angry the parents are, she just says she doesn't want to learn, and the mother doesn't know how to take the child. In fact, this mother is not unaware of the benefits of playing in the child's growth process, after all, in "learning to play, play in middle school", it is very helpful for the child's intellectual development.
But the whole social atmosphere has caused many mothers to stop on the way to the chicken baby.
Children do not have the opportunity to release stress and vent their emotions, the brain has no time to rest, natural operation is getting slower and slower, and eventually people will become stupid.
I don't want to learn anymore, but the child's last resistance to protect himself.
7. Children are not allowed to cry
I myself was eager to avoid my child's cries right away. Because when they cry, all kinds of negative emotions come to my mind: irritation, anger, uneasiness, self-blame, and anxiety.
So like everyone else, when a child cries, I instinctively want to intimidate the child so that they can stop crying. In fact, it is absolutely wrong not to let children cry, after all, "crying is the healing process of human self-healing"
Do not let the child cry, their negative emotions can not be vented and alleviated for a long time, self-healing and rehabilitation process has been interrupted.
Over time, no matter how clever and well-behaved children are, they will become stupid and stupid. So I've learned now that when the kids keep crying, I hold them and wait for them to finish crying. After crying, solve the problem again, and the child will generally become very good at talking.
8. Lots of negative cues, such as often saying that children are stupid
I have a relative who often likes to say that his children are stupid. Whether intentionally or unintentionally, sometimes he also feels that he is loving to say that children are stupid. I also like to show modesty in front of other relatives and friends by saying that my child is stupid and can learn hard.
Every time the child hears it, it is a look of helplessness and silence. In fact, what this relative does not know is that when the child is young, the parent says that he is stupid all day, and he may really feel that he is "stupid".
How can a small child distinguish between parents who say that they are stupid, behind which is love, or face modesty. Finally, children who are called stupid by parents all day and are nagged by various negative reviews. Chose to believe that he was "really stupid".
As the days passed, the child hurt his self-esteem, became resentful of his parents, and was unhappy. Emotions have been in a low state for a long time.
When a child devotes all of his energy to coping with the bad emotional problems brought about by his parents, there is also talk about intellectual development.
Therefore, parents keep their mouths shut at home and do not say negative words, and children will naturally not become stupid.
In fact, we parents, obviously hope that their children are smarter, but they did not expect that their children have quietly become stupid, and the culprit is the wrong way of education of parents.
I hope that this article can give parents some wake-up call and guidance, and ultimately help children grow up healthily.
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