He Suohuan, a writer of gender-emotional psychology, writes sentient stories, interesting strangers, and material knowledge.
"The older you get, the lonelier you get."
This is the truth in adult social life, and it is inevitable.
Any feeling has a shelf life, love has, friendship will also have.
And, at different ages, people experience the end of some friendships.
The friendship of adults ends, always quietly, and without contact for a while, they forget each other.
Only the memories of the other party's existence remain, but there will be no more figures of the other party around.
Why are there fewer and fewer friends? It's not only about age, it's also about the circle you're in, the distance.
-01
The end of an adult's friendship is related to these factors
First: circles and identity shifts
The best example is graduating from school.
At the completion of each stage of study, I will part ways with a group of friends.
At the university level, this is even more so.
The years of college are the stage of cultivating friendships; after graduation, they return to their respective cities and go to different life trajectories.
You have your own job and meet new friends, and they meet new friends.
When the circle changes, it becomes the reason why the two people drift apart.
Identity changes, the environment changes, and friends' relationships become increasingly distant.
Second: distance and time
Friendship, in fact, is another form of love.
In love, we experience "long-distance love."
When couples are in a long-distance relationship for a long time, lack of contact, lack of warmth, then the relationship will go downhill.
Because long-distance love means a lack of trust, feelings will always encounter crises.
The same is true for friendship.
Two people are too far apart and neglect to communicate, and friendship will inevitably decline.
It's like two people chatting.
If you don't contact each other for more than 1 month, you don't know what to talk to.
After more than 3 months of no contact, the feelings of the two people basically disappeared.
Third: For the future, there are different plans
We often say that the criteria for finding friends are "like-minded."
What is like-mindedness?
There are similar pursuits, similar values, and similar life trajectories.
Only in this case can friendship last forever.
Conversely, if the two of you have different aspirations and different values, what will be the basis for maintaining friendship?
For adults, most friendships are based on interests.
Because you have value that the other party can use, you will maintain the relationship.
When value lapses, relationships cease to exist.
Fourth: The older you get, the less you need for friendship
At the age of 20, our need for friendship is a desire to be understood, to be emotionally shared by others.
At the age of 30, our definition of friendship changes from the pursuit of spirit to the pursuit of profit.
After the age of 40, the demand for friendship began to decrease.
Having their own family, life, and children, they have truly entered the stage of "old and young".
At this age, many things seem to you to become "more than enough and not enough".
Even if you want to go out to dinner and chat with a friend, the other person may not have time.
Over time, you lose patience and energy.
-02
Drifting away from friends, what should we do?
First, our mindset should be changed.
Life is like a train in motion, at the beginning, there will be many friends to accompany you down.
At each stop, a group of people get off the bus.
At the terminal station, there are not many people left with you.
This is the stage that adults must go through, and it is also the path that everyone will take.
So, you have to learn to accept the difference between friends and learn to say goodbye.
Second, maintaining a relationship with friends requires care.
Any relationship needs to be treated with our hearts.
Even if we can't pay it, we will be rewarded, but at least we must be ashamed.
Sincerity is the best means to maintain feelings.
In the face of real feelings, all the tricks and means are useless.
Finally, cherish the moment.
Someone wants to leave you, which you can't control, because the end of the relationship can't be saved.
So, cherish the people who stay by your side and cherish every encounter.
Flowers will wither and bloom; people will meet and reunite.
Today's Topic:
Have you ever felt that "there are fewer and fewer friends"?
(Article with picture source network)