This time I cried like a child

Text/And Listen to the Wind Picture/Network

I never dared to cry in front of my child, and this time I actually cried like a child...

Son: "Mom, you seem to have changed during this time." ”

"What?"

"It turns out that your life has never been so slow, and your temper has changed."

"Is it?"

"What are the two words you said to me the most from childhood to adulthood?"

"Hurry up!"

"Isn't it fast?"

"You want to get beaten up again, don't you?"

"All in!"

"What kid is this?!"

Raising his hand to fight, looking up, he was smiling with his mouth, his eyes clean and soft. How can this child grow up when he grows up? Now I'm not even up to the tip of his nose, and it looks like it was just yesterday. What's more, there was a knock on the door before 6:30 in the morning, and I thought something was wrong, he made breakfast and waited for me to eat. He also explained that he was hungry and made a meal together. Perhaps it was the family changes during this time that made him suddenly grow up. I thought he was still a child who needed my care, but now the person who needed to be taken care of became me, and I was in a bit of a trance.

"Turns out I don't have any patience with you, I..."

"I know that your patience has been given to your students, but unfortunately you have not taught me." He laughed and snatched my words.

"It's not good enough for you..."

"How bad, I asked for a kite when I was a child, and you bought me the biggest one." It's a pity I didn't put it up myself..."

I don't remember this, but I can imagine that under the setting sun, a child sweating profusely and running hard again and again, and the kite falling down again and again, he must have been disappointed, he must have wanted it to fly, and he must have wanted someone to accompany him. I was absent from his childhood, his adolescence, all he had...

Now that I think about it, almost every day when he comes home from school, he will first pick up a cup of water and drink a cup of water, but he has never gone to the office to beg for a drink, I have not taught him to tie his shoelaces, buttons, zippers, I have not taught him to pack his school bags, I have not taught him to rollerblade, I have not taught him to ride a bicycle, I have not taught him to swim... How did he learn it?

I only remembered that I was a teacher, but I forgot that I should still be the mother of this child who needed care and love, and I was always for him: how did you be so slow, how did you write so badly, how did you not take the test well, how did you not come back to eat so late, how did you not obey so disobediently... I've always been busy, but I've never found my own reasons, and now I really want to ask him if he ever resented me...

There must have been, but I don't know how he figured out these things between what he understood and what he didn't understand, comforted himself, let go of his clenched fist, and completed his redemption. The process should be long and painful...

Suddenly feeling sorry for the back of the lonely running under the sunset, I stretched out my arm, "I'm sorry..." I wanted to hug him, but he hugged me and patted my back, "It's all right, Mommy, it's really okay..." He was a little incoherent.

never

I didn't dare to cry in front of my child, but this time I actually cried like a child...

One point Smoke and rain are misty