Wen | Zhang Ping
The illustrations | from the web
Everyone who has been in a relationship has probably had this problem, and when your incumbent finds out about your ex's presence, what do you do to make her happy?
Is it to find a perfect reason to prevaricate, or to preemptively divert attention and push the blame on the other party in a deliberate way to find fault, or to ignore it?
Some people do it well, that is, before the current is discovered, take the initiative to deal with the relationship of the ex, such as deleting the contact information, and not interacting with each other.
But some people feel that they have broken up anyway, and they will not contact each other again, so it does not hurt to keep it, after all, they are people who have loved before, even if they can't be lovers, they can be friends, right?
It is because of this mentality that in the end, there was an accident.
Of course, usually these things are not necessarily self-motivated, it may also be things to find you, or the ex just happened to have something to ask you for help, and so coincidentally discovered by your current, at this time how to explain it may be difficult to convince.
01。
Zhang Xixi couldn't imagine that the first time he and his boyfriend quarreled, it would be because of his ex-girlfriend who had gone abroad.
As early as before she was with her boyfriend Chen Fangyuan, she knew that he had an ex-girlfriend who had been in love for many years, but the reason why she was not worried was mainly because the other party was far away, and she thought that it would not have any impact on their relationship.
What's more, when a man has talked about any woman for more than 3 years but is not married, it is most likely because he does not love enough, so Zhang Xixi is still quite confident in his boyfriend.
After all, she was not very old, she was young, and she had a decent job, and she thought she was much better than his ex-girlfriend.
Until that late night sentence: How are you?
The text message was sent by the original intention, Zhang Xixi knew her name, and as early as when the two people were together, he explained everything with his ex.
It was already 12:00 a.m. that day, the boyfriend was taking a bath, Zhang Xixi was originally resisting curiosity and did not want to reply, but with the continuous messages sent by the girl, she finally did not hold back.
Seeing that there was no reply, the original intention asked: Is it there? I have something to look for you and get a call back.
At that moment, Zhang Xixi found that the original boyfriend not only kept the Ex-girlfriend's WeChat, but also kept her phone. In other words, any girl, I believe that in the face of this problem, it is impossible to be calm in the heart, and Zhang Xixi is also.
So, in the name of her boyfriend, she replied: What's the matter. And the girl did not reply again.
02。
It is said that the woman's sixth sense is very accurate, across the screen, maybe the girl found that the other end of WeChat is actually someone else, so she controlled her desire to talk, that night, Zhang Xixi thought a lot, what exactly does she need to help, and her boyfriend will really help his ex-girlfriend?
In the middle of the night, the boyfriend was already asleep, Zhang Xixi tossed and turned, she hesitated for a moment, and finally picked up her boyfriend's mobile phone, secretly deleted her WeChat, of course, even with her mobile phone number was also blocked.
When my boyfriend found out, it was already the next morning. It turned out that Chu Xin sent him an email, and he went to look at her number again, only to find that it had suddenly disappeared, and of course he knew who had done these things.
On that day, the two men had a big fight. Zhang Xixi blamed her boyfriend for her unrequited love for her ex-girlfriend, and her boyfriend scolded her for not knowing how to respect the privacy of others.
Many girls judge a boy when they are good or not, it is to see how he treats himself when he is good, but in fact, if you really want to see a man's sincerity, not only when he is good, but also when he is angry.
If a man is angry and can still think about you all the time, then he must really love you.
On the other hand, if a man doesn't say anything to you when he's angry, apologizes to you afterwards, says he's wrong, etc., it's not because he really loves you.
When a person loses his temper, it is the most real, in fact, what he says at that moment is what he says in his heart, because men are always more rational than women, and they are not very good at talking angry, nor are they duplicitous.
From the girl's point of view, the boyfriend and the ex-girlfriend keep in touch, in other words, everyone will care, and the boy's attitude is very important at this time. If a boy can communicate well and explain reasonably, the girl will not make a fuss without reason.
However, if he not only can't give an explanation, but even blames the woman for not being right, then at this time, the woman will only feel that she loves the wrong person, and will feel that the boy is not worth it.
Most people will stand in their own position and think about problems when they quarrel, and no matter how you think at this time, it is impossible to figure it out, because you have different positions and care about different points.
So the right way is to think from the other person's point of view as much as possible, think about what the point of her anger is, what will be your reaction if the role of each other is reversed, and if you want to understand this, maybe you will really understand where the problem between you is and how to solve it.
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About author:Zhang Ping, psychological counselor, marriage and family counselor, well-known emotional self-media. I have wine, do you have a story?