For a couple, there is one thing that will both torment them and make them feel happy; both déjà vu and complete stranger; it will make them feel the miracle of life again, and it will teach them to carry a heavier burden again.
If you happen to be a married husband or wife, then the answer to this question is very simple, the answer is the second treasure of childbirth. Yes, if a couple wants to have a second child, they must experience these contradictory feelings and responsibilities in order to enjoy the happiness and happiness of the second child.
The topic that is now on the agenda of many families of three is: Do you want to have a second baby? Some parents decided to take this opportunity to quickly have another one, so they prepared to implement the "man-making plan" intensively. For every mother, having and raising a child is the happiest and hardest thing in their lives; and for the whole family, having and raising a child is also the most important and indispensable thing.
Since the opening of the two-child policy, people have begun to consider adding another child for the family. One more child will be more popular, and the joy of the family will increase a lot. As a result, many mothers looked at the first baby who had grown up, in the baby's innocent smile, forgot the hardships of having a child, and with the desire to give the baby another younger brother and sister, they decided to embark on the long road of october pregnancy again.
First, be mentally prepared
In the face of another childbirth, will parents who have experienced it once be nervous enough to fall asleep? Presumably not so, but it is impossible to be completely nervous, after all, it is the birth of a small life, and any mistake in any small link may cause irreparable harm. When you think about it, can mom and dad not sit on a needle felt? Therefore, parents need to be mentally prepared to give birth to two treasures. As long as there are healthy physical conditions and insufficient psychological preparation, then what the second treasure brings to the family may bring many unnecessary troubles in addition to the joy of heaven. If it is psychologically impossible to debug well in advance, the family may be adversely affected.
1. Correct concept of incubation
With the development of social economy and the improvement of the comprehensive quality of humanities, the concept and attitude of raising children in people's hearts have changed. According to a survey by the Shanghai Population Association, when asked how to raise Erbao, a considerable number of parents replied: "Parenting should be faced with a relaxed attitude, and children should 'grow naturally'." ”
The concept of modern parenting is no longer the traditional "more the better", focusing on quantity, but advocating eugenics and quality. Parents need to understand the three major psychology of modern eugenics before giving birth to the second treasure:
1) Fertility concept
Today, there are still a small number of mothers who hope to have another son, so as to "pass on the generations" and "raise children and prevent the elderly", although this traditional thinking is not a mistake, but with the progress of society, people's thinking should also follow the pace of modernity. In fact, whether the second treasure is male or female, raising children is an important part of human life, and the sour, sweet and bitter is worth remembering by parents, from this point of view, having children can also help people "complete their life experience". People's concept of fertility is changing from a social model and a utilitarian model to a self-realization model that pursues the integrity and pleasure of individual inner experience. The idea of the complete continuation of the family should also be replaced by the idea of the completeness of life.
.2) Concept of conception
A large part of the parents like to spend a lot of money and thought on their children's nutritional products, hoping to "let the child win at the starting line", although this practice is understandable, but the real effect is not necessarily significant, and the second will increase the economic pressure of the father, so it is not recommended here. To do a good job in eugenics, diet is an important part, but there is no need to deliberately arrange, as long as as as the mother and fetus supplement daily nutrition as usual.
Now more and more mothers choose to swim, yoga, travel and other activities during pregnancy, which shows that the traditional concept of "raising a fetus" is being changed by a more scientific way of conceiving. Modern mothers pay more attention to emotional needs during childbirth than in material matters, so fathers who want second treasures should pay attention to spending more time with their mothers, going to obstetric examinations with them, or patiently listening to their mothers' feelings. According to the survey, 65% of women believe that the most touching thing that their husbands do throughout pregnancy is to "actively accompany the obstetric examination", far more than doing housework and purchasing infant and young child products.
3) Parenting view
Nowadays, more and more parents are no longer blindly "hoping to become a dragon", they hope that their children can grow up naturally and happily. When asked "what hope do you have for your child's future", many mothers choose "I hope that my child will grow naturally and do not need to give my child more constraints", far higher than those who choose "moral, intellectual, and physical all-round development, surpassing other babies". This means that most families who want to have a second child want their children to grow up naturally and happily in the future, rather than surpassing other children intellectually and academically, and many young parents see raising their children as a process of self-growth. In the families surveyed, more than 90% of parents chose to pay attention to cultivating their children's curiosity and spirit of exploration, which is different from the children who the older generation of parents hoped to cultivate in the past to be "well-behaved and obedient". This proves that the modern concept of parenting has been widely accepted.
Second, Dad's psychological preparation
With the experience of sheng dabao, dad will have a good psychological preparation for a series of changes in the mother's childbirth process, including psychological and physiological changes. While the mother is taking care of the two children, the father should also properly share the mother's housework. In the face of the cost of raising two children, the financial burden of the father may have to shoulder it. If you don't prepare in advance, the stress of life will affect Dad's psychology.
Third, communicate with the elderly and elders
Mom is likely to be unable to take two children alone and have to juggle a lot of housework. Before giving birth to a second child, it is necessary to communicate with the elderly in advance, and after obtaining approval, if possible, according to physical strength, it is agreed whether the elderly will take the child. If there is no proper communication in advance, then when the second treasure is born, the later upbringing process will be more troublesome.
Fourth, talk to Dabao more
How do you get Dabao to accept that he is about to have a brother or sister? In addition to his mother, Dabao's psychological preparation is also very important. It is most important to convince Dabao that the arrival of a brother or sister will not deprive his parents of their love for him.
Fifth, life planning preparation
For the impact of the second child on the whole family, you should be mentally prepared for family planning in advance. From the material aspect, we must be prepared to reduce the quality of life due to the increase in burden. From the emotional side, due to the addition of new members, whether it is mom and dad or Dabao, they will feel the reduction of life space and freedom, so parents need to find the most suitable way to communicate with their children, so as to ensure the smooth life.
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