In order not to let their children lose at the starting line, many parents enrolled in various interest classes when their children were very young.
Of course, parents are more rational now, and they will respect their children's interests before choosing interest classes, and children will report only if they like it.
But as a result, many parents found that when they went to the first or second time, the child was still happy, but the third time, the child began to rub, and the fourth time, directly looking for various reasons not to want to go...
Forcing the child to continue to go on, for fear that excessive persecution will make the child more repulsive. Compromise, and worry that the child will develop the habit of giving up when he encounters difficulties. Moreover, thousands or even tens of thousands of tuition fees have been paid...
Obviously, it is an interest class chosen by the child himself, why can't he stick to it? If the child does not want to go up, how should the parents cope? First of all, let's first look at why the child does not want to continue to attend the interest class.
There are generally three reasons why children do not want to continue to attend interest classes.
First, the freshness is over.
We all know that children are naturally curious about all kinds of new things. The same is true when children are first introduced to various interest classes. In the trial class stage, some children no matter what class they try, they think it is fun, and all kinds of classes want to report. But once you sign up, after a few days of study, the freshness has passed, and you don't want to go up again.
Second, difficulties are encountered in learning.
In the process of learning, it is inevitable to encounter difficulties. At this time, the child will have a sense of failure and fear of difficulties.
Especially for those courses that require children to repeatedly practice basic skills, such as dance, musical instruments, etc., this kind of long-term practice can achieve tens of thousands of results, which will make children feel boring to learn, and in the short term, they will not see the results, and the children will naturally have the idea of giving up.
Third, the teacher is too strict.
Some teachers of interest classes will be strict with children in order to make their children successful. However, in this way, it will not only reduce the child's enthusiasm for learning, but also do not want to go to the interest class because of the fear of the teacher's punishment.
For the first two reasons, we can guide children to continue to attend interest classes by communicating with them.
For this last reason, it is recommended that parents communicate directly with the teacher or the training class. If the communication effect is not good, it is recommended to apply for a refund directly. Interest classes are not specialty classes, and our focus is to help children build interest in subjects first. When he is interested in this subject, the child really loves it and is naturally willing to study hard for it.
So, when children do not want to attend interest classes, how should parents guide them? Let's first look at what parents can do to counteract when faced with this problem.
When children do not want to go to interest classes, what are the common misunderstandings of parents?
Blackmail the child with "all the money is paid"
When children say that they do not want to go to interest classes, the first reaction of many parents is that the money has been paid, and if the child does not go, the money will not be wasted.
Therefore, they will threaten the children with "the money has been paid, how can you say that if you don't go, you won't go". This practice will make the child feel that in the hearts of his parents, there is no money important, and it will only make them hate this interest class even more.
Criticize and blame the child, and completely deny the child
Some parents will criticize and deny their children when they hear that they do not want to go to interest classes.
For example, the child said to his mother, "These dance moves are too difficult, I can't learn them, I don't want to go to school." Mom said, "Why are you so useless!" Flinch when you encounter some difficulties, you let me down too much! ”
This will not only make the child feel that the behavior is not recognized, but also feel that the whole person has been denied. It will cause the child to fall into an anxious mood. On the one hand, the child wants to try again, and on the other hand, he is worried that the result will disappoint the parents, so he falls into a hesitant situation.
Compromise now
Other parents will immediately compromise when they hear their children say they don't want to take an interest class. This practice will make children form a psychology of escaping as soon as they encounter difficulties.
So, what should parents do?
When a child tells a parent that he does not want to go to an interest class again, we can guide him through the following four steps.
First, we need to listen to why our children don't go. At the same time, affirm the child's previous behavior. Tell him that the course is so difficult, he can stick to it until now, it is already very good.
Then, we can talk to the child about their previous lessons, or some positive feedback from the teacher. For example, he played a fun game with a small friend in the class; or the teacher said that he performed well in the last class and rewarded him with a small star. Doing so can help your child find motivation to continue to persevere.
Immediately after that, we took the opportunity to encourage the children to go and see it again. You can guide your child to see if there will be any fun this time, or whether there are new friends to join and so on. With the foreshadowing ahead, plus the small goal we give only once, the child will generally agree to try again.
Finally, as long as the child goes to the interest class again, no matter what the result is, parents should encourage and affirm the child's willingness to try and try to adhere to the behavior. At the same time, we can ask the child, is there any new discovery in this lesson? Or is there something fun to do? Help your child build up the motivation to go again.
All in all, when the child signs up for the interest class and does not want to go to the class several times, parents must not try to force the child to insist on it, nor can it be compromised immediately. Instead, through appropriate encouragement and praise, the child's inner motivation should be stimulated and the child should be guided to continue learning.