Grow, please bring this letter

Child, these words that your mother is saying to you now are just my thoughts. As a cheng

Young man, I dare not say that my current ideas must be correct, you can correct them when you grow up, but this is what I want to say to you most now.

common sense

Children, people must have common sense, to understand the most basic things in society. The truths you believed in when you were just in kindergarten, your mother hopes that you will believe in them when you grow up.

For example, everything should be orderly, there should be a queue, there must be a first-come, first-served arrival. The older people get, the easier it is to become dismissive of many things and feel that those things are childish.

In fact, when a person forgets the rules learned in kindergarten, it is a time when he is particularly arrogant and ignorant. Mom once told you about the barrel theory: if a barrel is hooped by a board of uneven length, which board determines the water capacity? Your answer is correct: the lowest board.

Common sense is our lowest board. If your common sense of the world, including all aspects of your own life, can reach 60 points or more, I won't pay much attention to how many 90s you have. If you are above 60, you are already a good citizen and you have been able to take responsibility for yourself.

90 points is the icing on the cake in human life, but 60 points is the snow in people's lives. I just hope you're above common sense in every way.

rules

Society is progressing, but sometimes we only rejoice in what we get, but we ignore what we give. Moms and the way you play as a child are very different.

When my mother was a child in the 1970s, in the hutongs of Beijing, girls played with sandbags and jumping leather bands. A dime of rubber bands can buy a large handful, and then we put them up one by one, connected into a leather band, from the ankle to the leg bend to the thigh to the waist to the shoulder, and can jump all the way to the "big move".

At that time, there were poor and poor play, and our play was very fair, and if we lost, we were absolutely not allowed to play, and whoever lost had to come down to support the leather band. It's a game rule.

Now, almost every kid in the neighborhood has a scooter, a pair of roller skates, and you slide in front of each other, say hello, and disperse. You have more space and faster and faster, but you have lost an environment for group play. Scooters and roller skates give you the speed to run freely, but they lack rules that everyone must obey. Why are some children easy to play tricks? Because they are spending less and less time in the rules.

When my mother was a child, she danced leather bands and threw sandbags with her peers, and if you played tricks, people wouldn't play with you. So we will solve the problem of rule recognition ourselves.

You are also good children and good children, but you lack the negotiation and recognition of the rules when you play. When all the children are riding on the scooter and going alone in speed, how can you know how to sacrifice and humble?

Mom wants you to find a self-consciousness of life from an early age, a self-consciousness based on obedience. This obedience is ethical obedience, obedience to rules, obedience of the individual to the collective. Why do many high-achieving students who are admitted to college always bump into each other and have so many conflicts with people? It's too late to tell you what "rules" are when you're in college.

err

Children, it is inevitable that people will make mistakes. In the Analects, Zigong said that a gentleman makes a mistake, just like the eclipse of the sun and the eclipse of the moon, when there is a mistake, everyone can see it; after correction, everyone will still look up to it. Therefore, your mother never wants you to be a perfect child, but your mother hopes that after you make a mistake, you can bravely stand up and take on your responsibilities, and you can say sorry, which is courage.

People always have to pay for themselves, and anything, whether it is done wrong or hurt, no one can replace you, and the person who loves you the most cannot replace you.

The courage to admit mistakes is more important than not making mistakes, and being able to correct mistakes is more important than daring to admit mistakes. This is being responsible for oneself and for others.

The restorative power of life

When you were four years old, you made a flower basket in a craft class. One day you "banged" and dropped the flower basket, and the corner of the flower basket fell out of a triangle, and you cried "wow".

I said, "Let's try and see if we can make the flower basket more beautiful than when it wasn't broken!" "We cut and paste again, you paint colors with colored brushes, and finally we make a very beautiful flower basket."

You say to me, "Mom, I see, it's useless to cry. "I was relieved to hear it. But let me be slight

Depressedly, no matter what was broken in the house, you were very happy and said, "Let's try it and see if we can make it look better than when it wasn't broken!" ”

Of course, not everything can be done better than when it is not broken, and our bottom line can only be not to make it worse. It is a restorative ability of life.

We can't control what happens to a person in a lifetime, but the ability to repair life is in our own hands. This ability, I think it's not too early to tell you at the age of four.

Pseudo-propositions

Children, many times people are frightened by themselves, they are crushed by other people's thoughts, and if people are not kidnapped by false propositions in this life, they can avoid a lot of troubles.

This is an era of public noise, on TV, on the Internet, on Weibo, there will be too many voices to judge the right and wrong of a thing. What others think does not necessarily replace your judgment.

Two days ago, at dinner, you asked me about four mixed arithmetic problems in your second grade of elementary school, and you said that 527 minus 107 is equal to 527 minus 100 plus 7? I was eating, and without thinking, I said, "Equal, same." ”

You laughed. You say, "Mom, you count." I stopped chopsticks and thought seriously, 527

Subtracting 107 is 420, 527 subtracts 100 first, plus 7, it is 434. I was surprised to find that these two formulas looked so similar, but the results were different.

So you see, how many of the things we think are not actually the truth? We are always accustomed to judging paradoxical things from our own experience, and we are often harmed by our own "thoughts". What is more likely to be killed is the "thought" of the people.

If you evaluate all things well with your own heart, you will grow up and find that people's troubles, fears, trepidations, and many uneasinesses are false propositions that do not exist. Or even if it exists, it's not as exaggerated as you think.

Science and art

Child, mom wants you to keep your trust in science and art. Science avoids ignorance, and art makes life interesting.

You used to pull your mother when you were three or four years old to see what the difference between spring flowers and forsythia is. You showed me the shape of their petals, whether they grew upwards or downwards, and the carefulness and clarity of your observation made me ashamed.

You also like to play the piano since you were three or four years old. Although you practiced very hard later, it was really what you insisted on when you were a child.

I don't know if you will trust science and art so much when you grow up. A person who believes in science will not fall into ignorance, and can also reduce a lot of fear born of ignorance.

Our society today, which you don't remember deeply when you were a child, is noisy and impetuous. I especially hope that my students, those brothers and sisters, and your society will be more rational when you grow up. The rationality of every citizen actually begins with the fact that they have the attitude of trusting in science. Mom was a person with poor mathematical chemistry, but I was convinced that science could bring reason.

You often say that my mother would recite so many poems, but my mother would not play the piano. I'm ashamed that I'm not as good as you at this point. But I don't ask you how many grades you must pass for piano, I just hope that you can maintain your love of art and find a kind of release in art. No matter how many setbacks you encounter when you grow up, or even how much you are hurt, I still hope that you can maintain your trust in kindness and dignity. You can save yourself.

Growth is more important than success

Nowadays, there is so much education about success in society that we almost make success the ultimate goal of life. But I've always believed that growth is more important than success.

Success may be a criterion for judging people, but it is only part of the criteria for growth. Growth is a comprehensive and diversified standard system. As long as a person's life can grow, there must be a future.

There is a story of a young man who was very unconvinced by the old chief who was like a god, and one day he caught a newly hatched bird and put it behind him, and asked the old chief, "Is the bird in my hand alive or dead?" ”

He thought, if you want to say that it is alive, I will twist it with a twist of my finger and strangle it; if you want to say that it is dead, I will let it fly in the palm of my hand. As a result, the wise old man just smiled tolerantly and said, "Life is in your hands!" ”

This is a good story, it is about the growth of life. Of all time, the most important thing is the present; of all rights, the most important thing is growth.

Growth is a process, success is a conclusion;

Growth is an evaluation related to life, and success is an evaluation related to society;

Growth is an internal system, and success is an external system.

Mom wants you to pay more attention to the mind, to the self, to the personality, rather than to care so much about external labels.

Child, when you grow up, you may correct your mother's thinking. In another ten or eight years, maybe Mom will revise her mind. But these are the things I want to say to you most right now. Mom just wants you to be a good person who is physically and mentally healthy, has independent survival ability and the ability to be happy.