"Sister, she promised to be my girlfriend."
On the other end of the phone, Li Feng couldn't suppress his happiness.
Li Feng is my cousin, a local civil servant, although his appearance is not very high, it is good to be loyal and stable.
At the end of last year, through the introduction of relatives, Li Feng met a girl Rong Rong. Rong Rong is a gentle and beautiful woman, is a relatively high-quality object in the blind date market, after the first meeting, her cousin has a heart for her, which can be described as love at first sight.
Love, sometimes it is not a coincidence, the first sight of each other's situation, very few.
After the first meeting, Rong Rong did not feel anything for her cousin.
I thought that this kind of one-way plot will soon turn over, after all, modern people know rationality and trade-offs, everyone holds it, at first glance there is no feeling, is not to see your love attitude.
Unexpectedly, half a year later, my cousin successfully won Rong Rong's heart.
Afterwards, I asked my cousin, how to make Rong Rong move?
Li Feng only said one sentence: If you like it, you can chase it, and you can rely on "strength" without relying on your appearance.
Later, I understood that what Li Feng called "strength" was nothing more than the use of the "more look effect" in psychology.
It means that at first you don't like or feel something, but look at it a few more times, get familiar with it, and you will like it.
To put it simply, the more familiar things are, the more you like them, and the more people around you are, the more pleasing they are.
This principle comes from the experiments done by psychologist Charence.
He took dozens of photos, randomly showed them to the tester, some photos, only appeared once or twice, some photos appeared seven or eight times, and finally, let the tester choose their favorite photos.
Surprisingly, they chose photos that appeared a lot.
From this, we can draw a conclusion: you will be moved by a person, in addition to love at first sight, there is another possibility, because of familiarity.
Think back to the time, when I first went to college, the inconspicuous male classmate, when he graduated, did he think he was quite good!
Isn't it easier for people who live in the same area or take the same course to become lovers?
This is all because, in each other's lives, the frequency of occurrence is high, the more you know, the more familiar, you will naturally like it more.
Under the action of the "multi-look effect", the attraction in love has gradually changed from the "seeing the color" of love at first sight to the "unique value" of long-term love - character.
After having a certain amount of contact, the appearance value is not so important, and what is more important is the character.
If you want to easily capture women's hearts, you must use the "more look effect" skillfully.
Familiarity Building: Appropriately increase the number of meetings
People are generally insecure about unfamiliar things, and they will be more comfortable with familiar things.
In the early days of getting along, the most important thing is to give each other a comfortable feeling.
On the basis of establishing a first impression, it is advisable to increase the number of times she appears in front of her.
Create some casual encounters, surprise the other party at the same time, increase their own liking in the other person's heart.
For example, when you leave work, you can take a detour, pass through the streets she often walks, even if it is just to say hello to her, after a few times, she will slowly have an impression of you.
Of course, we must grasp the rhythm, just mix a face, do not have to deliberately do anything for the other party, otherwise it will appear that the purpose is too obvious, but it will cause the other party to resent.
Cousin Li Feng is doing this, his unit and Rong Rong's company is not far apart, cousin will occasionally be on the road, creating opportunities to meet Rong Rong, say hello, hurry goodbye.
I heard that Rong Rong likes to read books in nearby cafes, and Li Feng sometimes appears there.
The diffuse coffee aroma, comfortable environment, happy mood, Li Feng even if he does nothing, will leave a good impression on Rong Rong.
Psychology calls this false attribution, that is, the right time, the right place, everything is so natural and beautiful.
When people feel good about themselves, but can't attribute this good feeling to a specific reason, they associate this feeling with the person closest to their body at this time. If you happen to be this person, even if you don't do anything, he will feel good about you.
It was after this encounter that Rong Rong's attitude towards Li Feng had changed to a certain extent.
She began to be curious about Li Feng's life and became interested in Li Feng.
This has made a big leap forward for their love establishment.
Then Li Feng invited Rong Rong to play badminton and watch movies, and Rong Rong agreed one by one.
The establishment of a sense of familiarity is a basic condition in interpersonal relationships, and the same is true in love, under the same conditions, familiar faces are more attractive than unfamiliar ones.
Intimacy Building: Doing One Thing Together
For those who meet for the first time and fail to impress her at a glance, creating a common experience with her is to provide their own unique value and form an inherent "multi-look effect".
Unique value refers to how you feel about you after spending time with someone.
For example, if she thinks that you are a responsible person, an interesting person, a person who knows how to care about people, this inner potential will become the attraction of love.
When she has an impression of you, she should continue to strengthen this impression, truly present her unique value, and enhance the intimacy of each other.
Some boys, in the early stage of getting along, when the other party does not know you, constantly launch a pursuit offensive against the woman, do some exaggerated actions, and the result is counterproductive.
Walking into a person's heart, it is necessary to take it step by step, you experience a thing together, constantly understand and familiarize yourself with each other, from poetry and song to life philosophy, the three views of fit, and finally break the defense line in her heart.
Back to the experience of Li Feng and Rong Rong.
Every time after watching the movie, they will discuss the feelings of the film together, chat and chat, only to find that everyone likes the same actor, and each other has done some stupid things in order to watch the idol's concert, which really makes people feel that they hate each other.
How they will make a meal together, buy ingredients together, study recipes together, in the process of cooking, Rong Rong found that Li Feng's knowledge is very wide, but also deliberately considered that she does not eat spicy, choose light dishes, very intimate.
In the later relationship, Li Feng constantly showed his inner potential, he was responsible, down-to-earth, high emotional intelligence, all of this, Rong Rong saw in his eyes.
After experiencing these things, Rong Rong was more convinced that Li Feng was a good man.
Li Feng finally conquered Rong Rong with his character and gained a two-way love.
Sometimes, two feelings are not innate, it requires you to know how to give an honest heart to the other party.
Doing one thing together is the best way to deliver, in the process, to express your love for her and make your inner potential the best attraction for love.
"How to make the person you love fall in love with you" said: From the first time the two people realize that love, the most important keyword is similarity, similar interests and hobbies, similar three views, similar love concepts, the more similarities, the easier it is for two people to come together.
Long-term love is more reliable than love at first sight, it is a more rational and lasting feeling.
If you meet someone you like, you should be bold to try, use the "see more" effect, create a timely encounter with her, do something that interests each other with her, open your heart, and treat her sincerely.
May you be on the road of chasing, the braver you are, the happier you are.
Today's Topic:
What do you think are the keys to whether a woman will be moved?
Flower Shadow World: Focus on interpreting the emotional problems of marriage, and give you comfort and warmth in the hustle and bustle of the world