# Have a heart to find lemon psychology #
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Some girls are very good themselves, or have their own unique charm, but after entering a relationship, they often fall into a state of self-anxiety and doubt, becoming more and more inferior, thinking that they are not good enough and unworthy of each other.
Even if they look good enough to outsiders, sometimes it is true that there is a problem with their lovers, they just put all the fault on themselves.
If you are in this state, you may wish to stop and think about whether you have been PUA in this relationship.
The term PUA is believed to be familiar to everyone, and can be understood as one party making the other party have emotional fluctuations through verbal depreciation and control, so as to achieve the purpose of manipulating the other party.
So, how to tell if your relationship is healthy?
Are you being PUA by the other side?
You can discern this by:
1. The other person will often pick and choose you, constantly reminding and talking about your shortcomings.
There is no shortage of such examples in life, and the other party will usually say "this little thing can't be done well, what else can you do", "you are of such a shape, not suitable for wearing such clothes" or "you are still useless at this age..." and so on.
No one in the world is perfect, and the correct concept of love should be to progress and grow together in the company of each other, rather than using language to overslam, hit your self-confidence, make you feel inferior, and fall into the mood of inferiority.
In the long run, you will fall into a state of pleasing the other party and slowly lose yourself.
2. The other person will deny your value.
When a person wants to PUA you, they tend to overemphasize their own strengths and deny your strengths and values.
For example, he would say something like, "You have such a bad temper, who else can stand you but me?" and so on.
Emphasize that no one but him will love you, you do not deserve to be loved and the like, once the other party has such a performance, you must detect the abnormality in time, and if necessary, stop the loss in time.
3. Lack of responsibility, like to shirk responsibility.
He'll shift the blame on you and say to you, "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have done anything..."
Before that, an audience member left a message with me, saying that her boyfriend would often ignore her love and answer, she was very angry, and also communicated with her boyfriend about this matter, and the other party blamed her instead, "If you weren't always angry with me, I wouldn't have ignored you." ”
This is to pass on contradictions by shirking responsibility.
However, when there is a contradiction in feelings, it is necessary for two people to reflect together, solve it together, and shirk responsibility in a vague way, then the problem will always exist, which is certainly not good for the relationship between the two people.
4. In the process of getting along with both parties, you begin to feel obviously uncomfortable.
A good relationship is a pleasure, and both of you will feel comfortable, but if in a relationship, when you think of each other, it is not sweet and happy, but when you doubt yourself and are worried, the other party cannot provide you with high-quality emotional value.
At this time, you have to examine whether your relationship is healthy.
Is it your own sense of security or the other person's problem?
You can also ask the people around you, after all, the authorities are fans, bystanders are clear, and for unhealthy relationships, stop losses in time.
Bad relationships can make people fall into painful emotions, there is no good for you, I hope you can polish your eyes and bravely reject the PUA in your relationship.
Well, that's it for today. This article is original by [Lemon Psychology Classroom], pay attention to me, take you to increase knowledge together!
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