Wen | Jingma
The child comes into this world through us, but he will grow up slowly, slowly become independent, and in this process of growing up and becoming independent, it is the process of separation from his mother.
One
The child's transition from the fetal stage to the newborn is from the mother's warm womb to a newborn who needs to breathe and eat by himself.
Slowly, the newborn can sit up and eat, and can stand up and walk on his own, which means that he is getting farther and farther away from his mother.
When a child is weaned, it is equivalent to the distance between the child and the mother getting farther and farther.
Then divide the room with the child, which is equivalent to the child having an independent space and an independent personality.
Two
Dividing the room is a necessary process for the growth of children.
Freud believed that children from the age of two to four were in the "sexual bud period", and children began to become interested in different genders at this time, that is, they began to understand different genders.
If the child is a boy, then the child is of a different gender from the mother, and if the child is a girl, it is a different gender from the father.
Therefore, at this time, it should be slowly allowed to let the child be independent and sleep in a room alone, so it is generally recommended that the child consider letting the child divide the room at the age of 4.
There are three deep-rooted concepts for dividing children's rooms, which are very bad for children, and many parents still do the same
Misconception 1: Three-year-olds are divided into beds, and five-year-olds are divided into rooms
There is a folk saying that children are three years old and divided into beds, and five years old are divided into rooms!
This is actually a deep-rooted concept of children sleeping in separate rooms! And this concept is actually wrong!
Age-limited room for children is unscientific and very harmful to children.
If a 5-year-old child is unwilling to divide the room, but the mother insists on letting him divide the room, it will hurt the child's sense of security.
When to divide the child's room should not be based on age, but on whether the child is ready or not.
When parents communicate with their children, if the child is willing to try to divide the room by himself, and the child can sleep independently at night, then you can consider dividing the room for the child, rather than looking at the age of the child.
Misconception 2: When dividing rooms, children are reluctant to and toughly enforce
Haochen is 5 and a half years old this year, and his mother mentioned the room to him before, but he did not want to.
Later, the mother saw an article on the Internet mentioning that if it is too late to divide the child's room, it is easy to lead to the child's "girly style", so she quickly divides the room for her son Haochen.
At first, Haochen cried and was unwilling, and her mother also resolutely divided the rooms, and worried that her son would run to his room in the middle of the night to sleep, and lock the door when he slept.
When Haochen couldn't sleep in his room at night, he came to his mother and knocked on the door, and his mother firmly said that you have grown up, you have to sleep by yourself, and you can't sleep with your parents.
The child cried outside for a long time, but the mother ignored the child, and when she got up on the morning of the second day, she found that Haochen was asleep at the door of her mother's room holding a small quilt!
Such a strong room division is a kind of harm to the child, and when dividing the room, it must be based on the child's will, slowly guided, rather than tough execution.
Myth 3: Dividing rooms too late can lead to precocious puberty
There are some articles on the Internet that children are prone to precocious puberty when they are late in dividing rooms, but there is no absolute proportional relationship between children's precocious puberty and sleeping in separate rooms.
The reason why children will have precocious puberty may be related to improper diet, such as often eating fast food in some unqualified tableware, and may eat phthalates in tableware.
Or to give the child to eat some health care products that are easy to lead to precocious puberty, or to give the child a small night light when sleeping at night, such a situation will lead to precocious puberty, and the time of the room is not directly related to the child's precocious puberty.
Children are divided into rooms, and parents should make three preparations in advance, which is more conducive to smoothly allowing children to be independent
Preparation 1: Communicate with your child in advance
Tell the child the benefits of sleeping in a separate room, buy some picture books for the child to sleep independently, tell the child that when he grows up, he will be independent, he must be separated from his parents, and he can sleep by himself.
Communicate with your child slowly, let your child understand that sleeping on your own is an inevitable result, and let your child adapt to this way.
Preparation two: Give your child a transition process
For example, when the child just goes to bed, the mother can sleep with him for two days a week, and every day the mother must have a bedtime story, or give the child a parent-child time before going to bed.
Let the child know that he sleeps in a separate room, but he can still be close to his mother and make the child feel more secure.
Preparation three: Decorate the room that the child likes
Take the child to decorate his room together, what kind of bedding to use, what kind of toys to prepare, you can prepare with the child, let the child have a sense of participation, he wants to sleep on his own.
Therefore, dividing the room for the child is not something that can be done overnight, and parents should do it according to the child's situation.
(The pictures are from the Internet, if there is infringement, please contact to delete)