Ms. Liu Hongyan, a former executive in the financial and media industry and currently committed to the research and promotion of oral history, can be said to be a workplace elite in the eyes of many friends.
How to take care of the parenting of children in a career is a question that tests many people, Liu Hongyan not only takes care of it well, but also cultivates a bully son who was admitted to Cambridge University, and bravely became a second-born mother at the age of 43.
With a lot of curiosity, I opened Liu Hongyan's new book "Mother's Courage", in this book, I found that she unreservedly shared her successful experience and experience in raising children, which is worth learning and learning from parents who are new to the road.
Liu Hongyan believes that parents are the starting line of children. The best family education is high-quality companionship and abundant world view, parents should give their children full respect and appropriate freedom, in order to solve the common parent-child problems such as difficult to balance work and family, difficult to tutor daily homework, difficult to balance learning games, and difficult to communicate with habit formation.
The following is an excerpt from Mom's Courage. At the same time, the preview: Friday, April 1 at 8 pm, I will be in the video number: Life Academy, dialogue with Ms. Liu Hongyan, together to discuss family education and children's companionship, how to be a better parent, welcome to come to the scene or online interaction!
The following is an excerpt from "Mother's Courage", copyright attributed to the author Liu Hongyan.
One
Many parents are afraid that their children will have procrastination in completing their homework, so they are eager for their children to reopen their packed school bags as soon as they step into the house and meticulously take out their homework to complete. In my opinion, such parents lack the ability to think differently.
Imagine that our children are studying every day from 7:30 a.m. to 10 p.m. or more every day, 5 or even 7 days a week, in addition, there are various tutors, competitions and other activities during the holidays, and their learning intensity is not lower than that of adults, but our learning enthusiasm, ability and effect are much worse than children.
If my husband hadn't asked me with concern about "how was today" or "would I like to drink some water to rest for a while" after I had come home after a tiring day, but had asked me to cook and do housework first, I would have been furious. Similarly, when our child comes home from school, we should not immediately let him or her write his or her homework. We can first express our concern for our children's daily life in school, talk to them about the feelings of a day of learning, let them eat some fruit or play for a while, which can effectively calm their rebellious psychology and make them feel the love of their parents.
After the child develops good learning habits, he will naturally arrange time reasonably and complete the homework independently.
Two
Liu Hongyan's eldest son, Zhou Chenli, once summed up the process of cultivating his good study habits like this:
"When I was in elementary school, I could get twice as many points as long as I completed my math homework before school every day, and in order to get these double points, I tried to finish my homework every day before school, and rarely wrote math homework when I got home. Gradually, I developed the habit of finishing the things at hand and then resting. This habit has always followed me, even in the busy junior high school, I never defaulted on homework.
When high school needs to apply to college, this habit is even more important. When I grew up, I found that the so-called "things at hand" are not just as simple as completing homework, many times I have to interview, written tests, and write papers, and it is this habit that I have developed since childhood that allows me to allocate time reasonably and complete everything on time.
I don't remember what I learned when I was in elementary school, but I can always find my shadow in elementary school from my every move in my daily life. I was glad that I had a straight track at the start, and I took a lot of detours in my later studies. The British philosopher Francis Bacon once said: Habit is really a tenacious and huge force, it can dominate life. Therefore, people should establish a good habit through perfect education from an early age. ”
Three
Children tend to love to play games rather than complete homework first, but both games and homework are essential to their growth. While I support my child in enjoying the childhood games as much as possible, I don't relax enough to ignore his homework completion.
Grinding and grinding on homework is a common problem for children, and my son is no exception. I don't deny the role of parents in supervising their children's homework, but I don't support parents sitting next to their children for a moment to supervise their homework. Parents only need to supervise whether their children are focused and whether they are done within the specified time, and make sure that they will not let the various bullies that they have to drink water for a while and watch TV for a while, which will affect their concentration and completion time.
I also communicate with my son diligently to make him understand that playing games and doing homework complement each other. Sometimes he is just afraid to avoid writing homework in the face of his own difficult problems, when I usually say to him: "Completing homework is your task, just like Mom and Dad have to work every day, you can only have more time to play if you complete your homework quickly and accurately." Mom will not add to your homework burden, but when you encounter problems that you do not understand, you should try to think for yourself first; when you encounter problems that still cannot be solved, you can ask your parents at home, and you can ask your teachers or classmates at school. Asking for advice can open up ideas, but don't give up thinking easily, don't be afraid to encounter problems, and constantly conquering small difficulties in learning can bring you a sense of accomplishment! If you don't believe me, you can try it for yourself. ”
Completing homework and checking homework are also two complementary links, parents teach their children to learn to check their homework on their own, which may reap unexpected results, which can also improve their children's enthusiasm for completing homework.
Initially I or my mother would check the homework with my son, but then we handed it over to him for independent inspection, and we only symbolically completed the parent's signature. After being able to completely let go of his son's homework, he often took the initiative to turn dictation tasks into silent writing tasks, so that parents could also reduce some burdens. Importantly, children are also increasingly motivated to write homework, as they have autonomy over their homework.
Four
I don't have too many requirements for my son, I don't buy extracurricular exercise books, I don't struggle with the difference of a few points in each exam, and a lot of time after completing homework and finishing practicing is at his disposal. Of course, we will also recommend a book to him from time to time, inviting him to memorize poems, play games, watch exhibitions, etc., and I think the educational effect of these activities is far greater than increasing the amount of unnecessary extracurricular exercises.
When my son was a child, he loved the book "100 Thought Games That Honor students All Over the World Are Doing", which he turned to tatters and the inner pages were full of symbols. The book is divided into 10 kinds of thinking games such as image, logic, three-dimensional, meticulous, fusion, innovation, digital, divergence, synthesis and alternative, and we will play the content of this book as a daily after-school game. One thing can lead to stress or burnout if done as a task, but if done with a gaming mindset, the effect is very different.
It is precisely because he grew up in this unburdened learning environment that even if the learning tasks are multiplied after entering junior high school, he still eats well and sleeps well because he has developed the habit of efficient concentration.
I must admit the fact that parents cannot keep up with their children's learning ability and knowledge reserves, and that parents do not have to cross the line.
Parents should be like leaders with high patterns, wide vision and courage to light up their children's curiosity, strategically improve their children's interest in exploration, and cultivate their children's learning ability.
Stimulating children's enthusiasm for learning from the side is always much more effective than positive urging, especially in the small matter of writing homework.
In addition to children's homework, reading, exercising, and doing housework can not be less.
Note: The content of this article is mainly excerpted from Liu Hongyan's "Mother's Courage", and the copyright belongs to Liu Hongyan. Therefore, if there is a tip, it will be used to invite Liu Hongyan to enjoy a big meal next Friday night!