After a disaster, how to teach children to face it correctly?

On the afternoon of March 21, a Boeing 737 passenger plane of China Eastern Airlines had an accident in Teng County, Wuzhou, Guangxi Province, and caused a wildfire. A total of 132 passengers and crew members were on board. According to the People's Daily, some of the wreckage and debris of the crashed aircraft MU5735 have been found.

Many people began to feel uncomfortable the first moment they saw this news, and their mood could not be calmed for a long time.

"When I think of the despair of my compatriots on the plane, my heart immediately picks up."

"It's really hard to hear news like this, and I hope it can be safe."

"I don't want to see the word 'wreck' again, it's too weak."

……

Have teachers and parents ever thought about how to tell their children about the MU5735 air disaster?

Some psychological counselors said that when the terrible pictures on TV are presented, they will cause psychological harm to children. But living in the era of information explosion, if you deliberately lie or avoid, it is easy to go wrong, and it is easier to arouse children's curiosity.

If a child takes the initiative to ask questions about disaster, the most appropriate way is to respond in a way that is acceptable to them in combination with the child's growing state.

In this process, teachers and parents should act as calmly as possible, and do not show nervous anxiety or exaggerated excitement. Kindergarten or elementary school children should not look directly at the pictures and pictures of the disaster, and try to avoid discussing and rendering the disaster news in front of them. If the children are older, teachers and parents can discuss more in-depth issues with them as appropriate on the topic of the crash.

In fact, the topic of "death" is indeed a thorny issue for teachers and parents, and children of different ages have different understandings of death.

Children of different ages perceive "death"

Preschool (3~6 years old)

1. Children at this stage are usually self-centered;

2. They think that death can be returned, they think that what they do may be the person who died will come back;

3. Children of this age will have physical symptoms, such as stomach pain, which is actually a sign that they need love.

Children (6~12 years old)

1. Children at this stage may behave in a manner that has degenerated to the past, or may exhibit problems;

2. If they are particularly active, it may indicate that they want to avoid feelings and emotions that they cannot control, or even dare not experience;

3. Children at this stage have specific concepts of death (e.g. people do not feel pain anymore).

Teenagers (13~19 years old)

1. Teenagers have an abstract concept of death, and some people begin to think about the "afterlife" after death;

2. It may idealize or romanticize things, which in turn makes the sadness more painful;

3. Even at this age stage, physical symptoms may develop, indicating that they need more attention.

How to explain disaster and death to your child?

When the child asks about "death" explains and reassures him

A child may ask a question that doesn't seem to be related to a disaster, such as "What happens to people when they die," and you can use his question as a starting point to talk about death.

Teachers and parents should be guided positively, pay attention to using calm, gentle voice tone, and cannot deliberately make the voice tense in order to render the atmosphere of death. Tell your child that life is only once, and that after death, you can't live in the world again. Therefore, we must always miss it, but also love life, be positive and brave, and cherish the good times now to make life more exciting. At the same time, encourage children to express their emotions.

Recognize his feelings

In fact, children will be sad when they see the news or experience the death of a loved one, indicating that their feelings are real and they need to be able to express their emotions. For example, in response to this aviation incident, you can say: "I know that you may be very worried because you will hear that the plane is missing, the plane went to another place, we can't see 'him', so let's pray for 'him' with the teacher, mom and dad." ”

Tell your kids that adults are working hard to keep everyone safe

It is normal for children to think that disasters from other parts of the world will also affect themselves and the families around them. As adults, we ourselves sometimes worry about flying or even living in an earthquake zone. However, you can tell your child that many people are working hard for our safety.

Use more non-verbal methods to reassure him

You can learn about your child's anxiety levels by observing some of his behaviors, such as playing, sleeping, and eating habits. If the child looks anxious after a disaster or after the death of a loved one, hug and kiss the child more. Most importantly, try to stick to a normal life routine to strengthen his sense of security about the daily familiar life.

With the help of nature, picture books, movies, stories, etc., the natural phenomenon of death is explained in detail

Pay attention to let children observe various life in nature such as plants, insects, etc., and understand that death is a process in life, just like flowers blooming and falling. Everything has updates, such as the death of a cute puppy, there will be a new dog coming out, balancing life and death, so that the child feels the joy of life while feeling the fear of death, but don't try to explain, death is something.

Here, I recommend several picture books - "Forever Ada", "Did Grandpa Wear a Suit", etc., to see death through the perspective of anthropomorphic animals and children. The film recommends "Dream Quest", which tells a beautiful and touching story about death and dreams.

Seize the opportunity to educate

Death education should not begin when things change, but should seize every opportunity. Fallen leaves on the ground, dead insects, departed pets, and worship of the deceased during the Qingming Festival are all good opportunities for us to educate our children about death.

In fact, for everyone, the meaning of life lies in experiencing beauty and bringing happiness to others. Don't run away, face death squarely, is to respect life, we talk about death, is to cherish life! Cherish and fear death when you are born; live indifferently and without regret when you die. I think this is the best life education for children.

Finally, teachers and parents can try to tell their children:

At present, the search and rescue is still ongoing, and the cause of the accident is still under investigation.

Fear of life and compassion.

I hope that everyone, do not believe in rumors and do not spread rumors, cherish life, live a healthy life, cherish the time and forge ahead, and do and cherish.

Edited | Kyo Jiaojun