Many parents have encountered a lot of confusion in the process of educating their children, from the small children getting up to lose their tempers, to the children lying and rebelling. In the face of such problems, parents are often overwhelmed, in fact, many times, children make mistakes in addition to the child's own problems, and parents also have a certain relationship.
For example, when a child has just entered school, he often loses everything, and usually the first reaction of parents is to send the child to school immediately. Over time, children will form such a concept, anyway, there are parents and mothers, it does not matter if their things are not packed. This is not conducive to the cultivation of children's conscious behavior.
1. How should parents cultivate excellent children?
A: Parents should first strengthen their own learning.
The successful goddaughter experience of a parent of a Tsinghua University student can give us some references. Although the mother's cultural level is not high. However, with the correct goddaughter attitude and method, she cultivated a student whose teacher thought that the intelligence was poor into a high-achieving student of Tsinghua University, and it can be said that the parent's ideological quality is very high. The teacher said that the child could not do it, she did not blame, nor did she scold the child, and the mother's spirit of not giving up the child is worthy of our emulation, and it is the key to the success of the child.
The teacher's words were: "Your child has intellectual problems and there is no hope at all".
When the mother came home and told her son, she said: "The teacher said that you have progress, as long as you work hard, you will continue to make progress." In this way, the child slowly improved under the encouragement of his mother again and again, until one day the child became the best student in the class, and finally entered the door of Tsinghua University.
What would you do if you changed? Whether it's patient encouragement, punching and kicking, or simply giving up.
Therefore, parents should strengthen their learning and learn the recipe of others to teach their children.
2. What should I do if my child wakes up in the morning in a bad mental state?
A: Let your child start each day happily.
The minute when the child just woke up is the key period of the child's mood of the day, many parents reflect that the first thing the child wakes up is to cry, the child cries I lose patience, either hit the child or scold the child, the result of this bad disease is getting more and more serious.
It is better to do this: when it is time to get up or the child has just woken up and turned over, the father or mother goes to the child, gently wakes the child up or caresses the child, gently creaks the child with his hand when the child just opens his eyes; talk to the child about an interesting topic, such as: Daddy guessed you dreamed last night, or that Dad dreamed of you last night, and so on. In short, find a way to get your child excited.
3. What should I do if my child falls?
A: This is a critical moment to teach children to be brave.
When a child is just learning to walk, it is a critical period to cultivate a child's brave spirit. Many successful parents practice that after their child has just learned to walk, the child falls down and allows him to get up on his own. And don't make a fuss about your child falling, if you scream loudly, it will scare your child into crying.
It's better to do this: laugh and tell the child: You're awesome, get up on your own. Although the child can't understand what you mean by being awesome, the child can understand from your expression that this is an affirmation of him, and when he sees your laughter, he will bravely get up.
4. What should I do if my child scolds someone for the first time?
A: Teach children to be polite.
None of the five sisters in our family could swear, even if they were spoken, they would not say anything at all if they were not particularly anxious. This is due to our parents, because, from an early age, our four brothers and one sister, whoever said dirty words, would be severely reprimanded by their mothers.
Many of our parents now do not pay attention to this themselves, so how to manage their children? Even more so, it is fun to scold people with children who have just spoken. The child will not distinguish between right and wrong, he will mistakenly think that the smile of the parents is the reward for his behavior, so after a long time, he will unconsciously throw dirty words casually.
At this time, what parents should do is to tell their children that this is dirty talk and are not allowed to say it again, otherwise people will not like you and will not be friends with you.
5. What should parents do when their child has just entered school?
A: The emphasis is on cultivating children's conscious behavior.
For students who have just entered the school, the first thing parents should do is to tell their children what to do when they go to school, how to do in class, how to do the homework assigned by the teacher, what to do when the teacher lectures, and how to play with the children.
This is to pay attention to a little strategy, rather than simply preaching, you can tell the child some stories of diligent learning, when telling the parents should have an appreciative smile, so that the child feels that it is a glorious thing to study well. Then, tell the child how the protagonist in the story does, he listens to the teacher very carefully during the class, the teacher assigns the homework on time, carefully completes, and does nothing if he can't finish the homework.
In this case, it should also be noted that parents should "do what they say". Once you've made a commitment: the rest of the time to complete your homework is your own. As long as the child completes the homework in time, do not let the child do other additional tasks, otherwise, the child will have a procrastination psychology when doing the homework next time, and the children of the grinding foreign worker start from this idea. In the long run, the child will have such an idea: anyway, after completing the homework, I still have to do something else, it is better to finish it later, I can do less.
6. What should I do when my child has a lot of homework?
A: Parents should be cautious about their attitude towards teachers.
I have met many such parents, and when they see their children's homework more, they are distressed, and they accuse the teacher in front of the child. What's more, simply complete the homework for the child. So, do you think about how serious the impact this will have on the child, one is that the image of the teacher in his mind has been destroyed; on the other hand, he will feel that learning should not be a hard thing, so he will think of ways to "reduce the burden" for himself in the future. Slowly doing homework becomes a burden.
It is better to do this: encourage the child to finish it by himself, constantly "cheer" the child up, and accompany the child to complete the homework. Even if it is really painful for the child, he will not find a reason for the child not to do homework in front of the child, and he will not blame the teacher.
7. What if the child does not cooperate with others?
A: Teach your child how to get along with people.
Even in the smallest unit of society, the family, a family of three, if there is no spirit of cooperation, it will go its own way. A person is inseparable from cooperation throughout the entire life process, at home with parents, children, brothers and sisters; after going to school, to cooperate with classmates and teachers; and when it is time to work, to cooperate with colleagues and friends.
8. What should I do if my child's grades are not good?
A: Pay attention to the cultivation of ability and habits.
Successful children have a common characteristic: good learning habits, the ability to automatically complete learning tasks, and even exceed the task.
As long as you pay attention to the cultivation of children's good learning habits, it is to insert the wings of success for children. Imagine a child who listens carefully to lessons and completes his homework on time with poor grades?
Children's grades are not very ideal, parents should not blame their children, but should find reasons from educational ideas and their own methods of education for their children. At the same time, it should also be noted that the cultivation of children's good learning habits is a gradual process, and it must not be rushed.
9. What should I do if my child does not eat well?
A: Control your child's snacking.
I often see parents chasing their children to let their children eat; I often hear many parents complain that my children are really tired, and when they eat, they often eat a little, even if it is not good to eat.
According to my observations and research over the years, there are only three reasons for this result:
Caused by snacks, too many snacks cause children to lose their appetite when eating;
Parent misleading, that is, when the child is occasionally unwilling to eat, the parent does not pay attention and says that the child is not good at eating. For example, if the child does not like to eat anything, after a few times, the child will naturally reject that kind of thing;
If parents often say during meals that something is not delicious, or that a dish is not good, then the child will also be disgusted with the meal and think that that thing is not delicious.
The solution to these problems is to create a good atmosphere for eating, so that children feel that eating is a happy thing. Parents must not praise or denigrate the quality of the meal in front of the child, even if the meal is really not delicious, it is best not to say.
10. What should I do if my child does not perform well?
A: Don't make vague affirmations or excessive denials about your child's bad behavior.
It is often possible to hear some parents "proudly" say: My child has a special temper, always let people follow, once you choke him, he will be how, how.
Obviously, you have cultivated a little overlord, an unreasonable little emperor. Once such a child reaches society, weaknesses will appear and they will be incompatible with society. In fact, it is not difficult to investigate the reason, which is caused by the parents themselves, not the problem of the child's personality.
The key to solving this problem is that parents often reflect on the child's current personality, if you change to your own colleagues to treat yourself like this, can you bear it. As long as you can't stand it, then how can children put up with other people in society in the future? In order for children to take fewer detours, do not believe the old saying of "trees are big and straight", with the change of the times, it has been unable to adapt to the current social reality. Children's synchronous development may also be pulled down, and "tree big and straight" is a waste of children's youth.
It is better to think differently and let the child know that it is wrong to do so. At the same time, the child should also be clear that he is responsible for any of his actions, and different behaviors will have to pay different costs.
11. What should I do if my child lies for the first time?
A: Don't debunk it right away, be strategic.
Children who lie are often because they tasted the sweetness when they first lied, and then the parents did not care, and it is difficult to change after a few times. Every time they lie for a certain purpose, some for not doing homework, some for the fear of punishment for doing something wrong, some to please people, some to get something, and so on.
It's better to do this: don't expose the child right away, but change the strategy and let the child know that lying is wrong. If, on the first mistake, the child is severely punished, then he will be more hidden when he makes a mistake the second time, and will do everything possible not to let you know. Therefore, when encountering children lying, we must be calm, not only let children understand that mistakes should be taken responsibility, but also let children dare to admit mistakes when they make mistakes in the future.
12. What should I do if my child doesn't like to use his brain?
A: Parents consciously ask questions for their children to solve on their own.
I think there is a saying that is very good, inventors are lazy, if he is not lazy, he will not want to walk too tired, I want to get something convenient, so the bicycle was born; the bicycle is too backward, the car will then appear; the car is still slow, and too constrained, the plane then appeared in front of people's eyes, it is in the pursuit of the idea of saving trouble driven by the next invention came into being, they rely on continuous thinking, constantly seeking a concise way to solve the problem, so that science continues to develop, Humanity is constantly improving.
Therefore, our approach should be that if the child does not know how to use the brain, then the parent should consciously ask the problem to let the child try to solve it by himself, so that the child will slowly develop the habit of using the brain.
13. What should I do if my child is proud?
A: Don't praise your child too much.
There are many reasons for pride, some are proud of their own efforts to achieve success, others are proud of their superior family environment, or extraordinary appearance. The former can be wanted, while the latter is not.
I remember reading such an article once, which said that a Chinese couple went to visit a foreign friend. When they arrived at their friend's house, the Chinese couple saw their friend's child and couldn't help but say, "This child is so beautiful, you are really blessed." ”
The foreign friend was full of unhappiness and said to the Chinese scholar unceremoniously: "Don't appreciate the beauty of the child, this is not his own efforts, you should apologize to the child." "It's very embarrassing for Chinese scholars.
However, on closer examination, one can see the wisdom of the foreign couple in educating their children. Let the child understand that only by paying labor, what is obtained through continuous effort is the capital of pride or pride. Therefore, to let the child understand that the premise of what I can do is that I work hard.
Therefore, to cultivate a child's confident and humble character, it is necessary for the child to realize that the premise of pride or pride is that he has worked hard to achieve, and other things that are not obtained through his own efforts have nothing to be proud of.
14. What should I do if my child is reluctant to do housework?
A: There should be a clear division of labor in the family.
People are usually inert, but as parents we should let our children understand that doing some housework is the obligation of every family member. The child may not be willing to do it at first, so it is necessary to have a clear division of labor. For example, our family is like this, in the morning my wife washes the dishes; at noon, my son washes the dishes; and in the evening, I wash the dishes. It also stipulates that if anyone eats slowly, the other dishes have been washed; then, the last one to finish eating should wash it himself. Thus, even if he avoids his son eating too slowly, he also understands that family members must also cooperate with each other, and they must also have a concept of time.
If I don't want to wash the dishes any time, I will give the child a hint and deliberately say something like this: "Son, father, mother are going to go out, you must not steal the dishes to wash."
The son will say, "I won't wash it!" ”
When I got home, the dishes were already washed. And if you simply say, "The child washed the dishes." Maybe, he will be a little reluctant, and even say: "Tonight, it is time for you to wash the dishes." At the same time, once the child has washed the dishes, the child should be properly praised for his behavior at the right time, and the child will remember that the father appreciates his behavior.
15. What should I do if my child loses everything when he goes to school?
A: Teach children to take responsibility for themselves.
I can often hear many parents complain that my children often lose everything, often forget to bring the whole thing, and often forget to bring homework books and pencil cases. In fact, the solution is very simple, the method I use is that if you forget to bring it, then you should be punished by the teacher when you go to school. I think it's worth it for a child to trade the price of a lesson or a few lessons for a good habit. If when the child forgets to bring something, call the parents, and send it as soon as the call is made, then the child will never have a good habit.
On the other hand, my child's school bag must be packed by himself, and my child has been packing his own school bag since the first grade, and I have never asked. Every time he finished his homework, the first thing he did was pack his school bag and then do something else. If he confiscates the pickup, then I will not clean it up for him. The next day, when it was time for school, I left and let him be anxious in the back, so that once or twice he could cultivate his good habits.
In short, let the child understand that he must be responsible for his actions and that if he is wrong, he will be punished. Punishment can only be avoided if it is done according to actual needs.
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