How much pain does a person who lacks love have in their relationships?
In intimate relationships, there is a regrettable law:
The more he craves love, the less he will receive it.
Just like the movie "I want to be nice with you", the heroine Meowth has always longed for "be good with you" in the relationship, and in the end, she and her boyfriend Liang Liang ended up breaking up.
At the beginning of love, like many couples, they only have each other in their eyes, eager to stick together for 24 hours, and immediately after falling in love, they live together.
The deterioration of the relationship begins with a small thing - Meowth suddenly woke up in the middle of the night, slapped the light awake, and asked him: "Do you love me?" ”
Since then, Meowth has been in love, endlessly "tossing", such as:
Worried about Liang Liang's derailment, look at Liang Liang's mobile phone, check Liang Liang's bank card, and install a camera in the house where they live to monitor Liang Liang's every move;
Test LiangLiang's loyalty, call and send flowers to Liangliang's female colleagues, and observe the reactions of female colleagues to confirm whether Liangliang has picked flowers and weeds;
Every time there is a contradiction, Liang Liang wants to run away from home, and Meowth is forced to die, and liang Liang compromises.
Many people commented on Meowth after watching the movie: If you don't die, you won't die.
But I was very sad to meow, and in her, I saw the shadow of many people in their feelings - insecure, sensitive and suspicious, wanting to confirm the unconditional love of the other party.
These actions do not arise from loving each other too much, but in their hearts themselves, as if there is a hole in dissatisfaction.
Psychological research has found that if a person does not have a stable love when he is a child, when he grows up, he will not be able to control the desire to make up for it in intimate relationships.
All kinds of tossing, flattering, and repeated confirmation are all aimed at asking for more love in each other.
However, you also know that the more you press forward, the more you make the other party resentful, and naturally you can't get the love you want.
So we can see that people who lack love in their hearts are often unable to have a happy and long-term intimate relationship.
How to fill in the missing love in the heart?
Lack of love is such a big word that we are not even willing to admit that we lack love.
But it is undeniable that the lack of love affects us everywhere -
Low sense of self-worth, too concerned about the evaluation of others, eager to get the approval of others, thinking that only to please is worthy of love;
Look at the problem is very negative, the ability to resist setbacks is poor, and it is easy to collapse;
In the face of the world, I am always full of uneasiness, and it is not easy to trust the people and things around me.
This means that what we lack is love for the self, not for the outside world, and we cannot pin ourselves on another person to obtain love and self-worth.
The only way to fill in the missing love in your heart is to save yourself.
First of all, we must understand, lack of love, what is missing?
Popular psychological research has found that a person's self-affirmation and relationship recognition together determine his experience of love in intimate relationships.
Based on Winnicott's object relationship theory, we have developed a "lack of love index assessment" based on the "five dimensions of self" theory summarized by domestic psychologist Wu Zhihong and the results of in-depth interviews with hundreds of users to help you find the love you are missing.
Through the assessment, you will have a comprehensive understanding of your inner love and energy:
Be aware of your lack of love
What is your lovelessness index?
On the professional psychology scale, is your love deficiency index high or low?
Know your ability to love
How much do you love yourself in different dimensions?
How strong are you in dealing with intimate relationships?
Heal the inner deficiencies and enhance the ability to love
How can you love yourself?
How can you love your partner well?
How do you maintain a good intimate relationship?
In fact, the lack of love is not a shameful thing, because the past experience is not caused by us, nor can we easily change it.
It's even cooler to face the trauma and try to heal yourself.
May you feel the process of love again, feel the beauty around you with a meticulous heart, make it yourself, and give love to others.