Why does a person obviously not like you, but still hang on to you?
I saw a post on the Internet, the boy posted: pursuing the girl he likes for 3 months, the girl accepts his gift, accepts his dating invitation, but always changes the topic in the face of his confession.
When he wanted to give up the relationship, the girl went back to give him some hope, and so on, making him feel particularly tired.
I always feel that I am being used by others, but I am reluctant to have this feeling in my heart.
In the relationship, it is often possible to meet such people.
He obviously doesn't like you, but he selfishly wants to take advantage of your good and doesn't allow you to pursue other people.
When you turn around and pursue others, he will instead question you: "Why do you chase others without my permission?" ”
From the perspective of psychology, everyone's heart is eager to be recognized and sought after by the outside world.
"Vanity" is not only reflected in life, but also in feelings.
-01
The performance of a person "hanging on to you"
In the relationship, you pursue the person you like, it is easy to be "cultivated as a spare tire" by the other party.
Adult feelings, simply, are a virtue.
If you like it, you accept it, and if you don't like it, you refuse it and don't give you any hope.
But there are people who are selfish and possessive in their hearts and don't like you but enjoy the feeling that you pursue him.
First: do not refuse, do not take a stand
The most obvious manifestation is that the other party does not reject your love and giving, enjoys and occupies your good, but never gives you anything back.
Like what:
On some holidays, when you give him a gift, he always accepts it, but on your birthday, he doesn't mention giving you a gift at all.
When you make a date invitation, go to dinner, watch a movie, go shopping, he also gladly accepts, outsiders look like you are lovers, but only you know, the sense of boundaries between you is very clear.
However, every time you shift the topic from life and work to "confession", he will remain silent or change the topic.
Do not accept your confession but also do not explicitly refuse.
Second: When you want to give up, he gives you hope again
The most terrible thing about feelings is that the other party gives you hope again and again and disappoints you again and again.
Everyone has heard the story of "the wolf is coming".
When you first gave me hope, I believed in you, accepted you, and continued to pursue you; you didn't accept me, I didn't say anything.
The second time I gave me hope, I was willing to jump on my own initiative, even if it was a pit in front of me.
But by the third time, I no longer took the initiative to jump in, because people's patience and feelings are limited.
Just like when we watch a show, if we can't load the "progress bar" all the time, we often choose to give up.
The same goes for people who pursue likes and should set a deadline for themselves.
Within the agreed time, if the other party is still unmoved, it is time to give up.
We can give up our dignity for a short time for love, but in the end we have to pick up our self-esteem.
-02
Why does the other party not like you, but enjoy your good?
First: vanity and the feeling of being watched
Do you enjoy being noticed?
In the collective, do you want to be sought after and praised by the people around you?
Do you like to express yourself and show your best to the outside world?
Do you create your own persona every day, disguised as a different look?
The human heart is very interesting and contradictory, and people are multi-faceted.
From a psychological point of view, people show different personalities and inner thoughts during the day and night, in public and when they are alone.
In a relationship, if the other person has been enjoying your kindness and dedication to him, but not giving you anything back.
This shows that he is a person with "strong self-esteem and comparative self".
At least in relationships, he is selfish, only considers his own feelings, and is good at using the psychology of others to achieve some kind of goal of his own.
We can call it "vanity", enjoying the feeling of being watched and sought after.
"It's nice to be liked, and it makes me feel satisfied that someone is nice to me."
Second: Treat you as an "alternative"
There is a term on the Internet called "spare tire dating".
What is spare tire dating?
Refers to: a person in a single state, can date or date multiple people of the opposite sex at the same time.
Everyone may be an alternative, pay attention to screening, compare and then make a final decision.
As for good or bad, everyone has their own criteria for judging, and some people can accept nature and some people can't.
But what you can't change is that a person who is single has the right to choose who he or she works with.
However, selfishly occupying the good of others and taking the efforts of others for granted is chilling.
Today's Topic:
Have you ever been "hung" by someone else?