Text | Parent-child psychologist Xu Jingying
Yesterday, a China Eastern Airlines Boeing 737 carrying 132 people crashed in TengXian County, Guangxi Province. So far, there has been no official confirmation as to whether all 132 people were killed. But looking at the plane that fell straight down, everyone understood, what miracle is there? The hope of survival is too slim.
Brushing the video at noon, I saw the relatives of the passengers on the crashed plane - a middle-aged man, sitting at the airport crying loudly - his three children took the MU5735! The uncle broke down and cried, while crying, he took out the picture of the child on his mobile phone, "My three children. .....", I saw that my tears wet my eyes.....
In the face of sudden death, adults can not bear it, what about children? How should children understand death, and how can they understand that the relatives who accompany them day and night suddenly stop appearing as usual?
Death is a problem that lies in front of every child, sooner or later, it will suddenly jump out and attack the child's young mind when the parents are not paying attention.
Education is anytime, anywhere, you may wish to take advantage of this plane crash to talk to your children about death and carry out life education.
In the face of death, normalize death and rationalize emotions
Children's fear of death often stems from the emotions of adults, such as the death of relatives in the family, parents crying bitterly, and some even fall into grief for a long time and cannot live and work normally; or, in the face of some sudden accidents, such as this plane crash, parents are very concerned and distressed.
Children who see the performance of adults often increase their fear and fear of death.
Therefore, parents should tell their children:
Death is something that everyone has to face
From birth to death, everyone has to go through. Death is very normal, everyone grows old, will die, will pass away, death is a normal cycle of life.
Don't worry about the child is small, do not understand death, parents try to say this to the child in a peaceful word, you will find that the child's understanding is beyond your imagination.
It is normal to be sad and sad in the face of death
Tell the child that emotions are not good or bad, and it is normal to have emotions. There are many kinds of emotions, and happiness is an emotion. In the face of death, crying, sadness, sadness, pain, sadness, worry, fear is also a very normal emotion, rationalize the negative emotions in the face of death, do not let the child feel that he is afraid of death is a bad and abnormal thing, do not aggravate the child's fear of psychology.
Emotions are not good or bad, but the way to deal with emotions is good and bad.
If adults can not extricate themselves for a long time in the face of the death of their relatives, they cannot live normally, which will also affect their children's views on death, so parents should take responsibility for themselves, learn to face death, properly control their emotions, and gradually accept the death of their relatives.
See the child's fear, do not avoid, do not blame
Children are afraid of death, parents should communicate with them peacefully and gently, do not accuse children of "thinking of something useless all day", "don't always think blindly", do not avoid, and do not perfunctory and blame.
Learn to ask questions and mobilize your child's active consciousness to think. Know that consciousness is like a light that illuminates negative emotions in the subconscious mind in dark places.
Ask your child these three questions:
Are you afraid of death?
The child will answer "yes". Only by actively guiding children to face the topic of death can we defeat the little monster in our hearts and soothe the uneasiness.
Why fear death?
"Fear of relatives leaving, fear of being left alone" and so on, may be the reason why children are afraid of death.
Parents can tell their children that no one will be with us forever, that anyone will leave, and that only they are their own eternal friends. Let the child know that even the parents will not be with the child forever.
How can I not be afraid?
For young children, parents can firmly tell their children:
"Mom and Dad will grow up with you slowly, even if one day you will die, it is also after Mom and Dad grow up to be very old, you are already very big, you have your own lover, children, not now, then, you will not be alone....."
Such a statement gives young children a firm commitment to help them let go of their current anxieties and insecurities.
Unable to predict which tomorrow and accident will come first, learn to cherish life and cherish the present
For older children, parents can tell their children:
No one knows which of tomorrow or accidents will come first. The only thing we can do is to cherish life, live in the moment, and be ourselves.
Cherish every minute with your loved ones, understand and care for each other, be responsible for yourself, be responsible for life, and do what you should do.
The "China Children's Suicide Report" pointed out that China's adolescent suicide ranks first in the world, and about 100,000 teenagers die by suicide every year. Every minute, 2 children die by suicide and 8 attempt suicide attempts.
This number is shocking and shocking.
Life is the most precious thing in the world, and compared with life, everything is insignificant, everything has to give way, everything is worthless.
In the face of death, learn to be grateful
Where there are good years, but someone carries the weight for you.
In the face of death, we must guide children to learn to be grateful, to appreciate the gifts of life, the love of others, and the giving of life. Be grateful to your parents and give life; be grateful to others and help them; be grateful to the motherland and take on great love.
Only grateful children know how to cherish life, love life, treat life kindly, do not give up lightly, accept challenges calmly, actively meet challenges, and live every day.
Sublimating the cognition of death, this is the use of this China Eastern Airlines plane crash, parents should give their children the most death education lessons.