One- and two-year-old children, dependent on their mothers and not dependent on two situations, have large differences in personality when they grow up

For most women, the moment of motherhood is the most sacred moment of our lives. Because from that moment on, our roles have changed, and we have begun to shift all our attention to the child, pay attention to the bits and pieces of the child's life, and accompany the child to grow up slowly.

Xiaowei is a mother, her child just turned 3 years old this year, is a very cute child, in the past 3 years, Xiaowei successfully from a wife role, to a mother role.

She clearly remembers every first time the child, the first time she called her mother, the first time she learned to eat with a spoon, the first time she kissed his cheek... This is a very precious memory for Xiao Wei.

But as the child began to grow up, Xiaowei's heart began to become empty, because she found that the child did not seem to be as dependent on him as before.

In the past, when Xiaowei came back from work every day, the child would stumble over, ask her to hug, stick to her and ask her to play with her.

And now Xiaowei comes home from work every day, but the child behaves indifferently, playing with his own toys, or turning on the TV to watch his favorite cartoons, and no longer has the previous dependence, which makes Xiaowei become a lot easier, but the heart is always unhappy.

One- and two-year-old children are dependent on their mothers and not dependent, two situations, and when they grow up, there is a big difference in personality

Children's dependence on their mothers may be avoidant attachment

Avoidant attachment refers to those babies who are not strongly dependent on their mothers, such babies usually look very obedient, rarely cry and make trouble at home because of some small things, and do not argue for their mothers to accompany them, so basically they do not bring any trouble to their mothers.

Even some mothers still think that this behavior of the child is a manifestation of the child's understanding, but in fact, from a psychological point of view, this kind of child actually belongs to the avoidant attachment.

"Reading the Child's Heart" mentions that children with avoidant attachment are more worrying, and parents should pay attention to their psychology.

Because they do not establish a very close emotional connection between them and their mothers, they will be more "cold" to their mothers in life.

Avoidant attachment is not a good thing for a child's personal development.

If left unchecked, the child will become withdrawn, feel that he has no trustworthy people around him, and it is difficult to get along with other people.

Therefore, as mothers, we should pay attention to observing whether there is an avoidant attachment situation in the child and take corresponding measures in time, so as to avoid the child from forming a lonely personality.

Children like to cry and rely on their mothers, which is a safe attachment

Safe attachment is the opposite of avoidant attachment, children with safe attachment, they will be extremely dependent on their mother, like to let the mother play with them, once the mother is out of their sight, they will appear restless, because they are very afraid of the mother to leave them.

In "The Terrible Two Years Old", it is mentioned that the child's dependence on the parent is the trust of the parent, and this trust in the parent-child relationship will give the child the sense of stability that he needs.

Perhaps in the eyes of some young mothers, children with secure attachment can cause them trouble and deprive them of a lot of their own personal space.

But in fact, children with secure attachment tend to be more cheerful and easier to make friends.

If a mother wants to raise a child with "safe attachment", it is important to do these 3 things well

◆ Turn your attention to your child

The reason why many children do not show dependence on their parents is largely because parents do not turn their attention to their children, especially for some young parents, who have not yet changed to the identity of mothers and rarely have enough patience to get along with their children.

In addition, there are some young parents who will give their children to their grandparents to bring, all year round, only a few days with their children, try to ask how to establish a close relationship with their children in this way of getting along?

Therefore, if the mother wants to establish an intimate relationship with the child, she should spend a little more time on the child, shift the attention to the child, pay attention to the child's life, understand the child's joys and sorrows, let the child feel your attention to him, so that the child can feel that the mother is a person worthy of dependence.

◆ Reminisce about good times with your children

Children around 1 to 3 years old, memory ability is relatively poor, which is why many children do not remember what happened when they were young when they grew up, even if they remember these things, they are often recalled in the third person under the narration of their parents.

Therefore, during the period when the child grows up, we as parents should help the child keep these good memories, such as taking photos of the child on every important day, or giving him a small gift with meaning.

When your child grows up, you can take out these memorable images, photos, and gifts, and reminisce about these beautiful times with your child.

◆ Try to lose your child's temper as little as possible

For some impatient parents, getting along with children is actually a very torturous thing, because children at this age often do not understand anything, can not control their emotions, often because of some small things on the crying, sometimes parents are tortured can not stand it, will be angry with the child, in order to let the child quiet down.

In fact, such behavior will affect the parent-child relationship between the mother and the child, because in the child's world, it is actually very simple, he naturally likes the people who are good to him, and he naturally does not like the people who yell at him.

Therefore, as parents, when the child is very young, we should be more tolerant of the child and try not to lose temper with the child, so as to help establish an intimate relationship with the child.

epilogue

Whether it is for parents or children, therefore, relationships are very important, as parents should pay attention to this, and establish a good relationship with children, so that children can grow healthier and stronger.

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