Author | Du Lanjun
There is a proverb in the Book of Rites: The water is deep and flows slowly, and the people are expensive and late.
The deeper the water, the gentler the current, and even if the water surface is windy and strong, the water in the depths remains slow.
And excellent people, often speak cautiously, do not rush to express their position, do not sensationalize, so they feel that they speak slowly and slowly.
Shallow people often have these three expressions in front of others or in the circle of friends.
01
The negative energy of complaining
The company has a former colleague, nicknamed "Circle of Friends Complaint King".
Looking at her circle of friends, the words are full of dissatisfaction with others and resentment towards life.
Early in the morning, I complained that the owner of the breakfast shop sold expensively and lacked two pounds; after the meeting, I complained that the boss had high requirements and was not understood; after work, I posted that friends did not care about themselves and did not understand themselves.
She had a negative attitude, sloppy work, and her performance was always at the bottom, and she was fired within a few months.
Colleagues have the same impression of her:
"She's a person, there's nothing wrong with her, she just loves to complain too much."
There is a Spanish proverb: "If you shed tears all the time, you cannot see the stars." ”
This kind of person always feels miserable, life is unfair to herself, and good things and bad things can become constant complaints to her.
Life is not satisfactory nine times out of ten, and no one's life is easy. Complaining about it, except to make the mood worse, there is no point.
The real strong will not complain, but to find ways to change, to get themselves out of the predicament, to adjust the mentality to look at life optimistically.
02
Excessively flaunting your achievements
I agree with Yi Shu's words:
"The man who is really rich at heart never shows off everything he has, he doesn't tell people what books he's read, what cars he's driven, where he's been, how many pieces of clothing he's had, what jewelry he's bought, because he doesn't have an inferiority complex."
People at a low level, love to dance their teeth and claws, have a little achievement to sensationalize, frequently send circles of friends to show off, and repeatedly mention it to the people around them.
People with a rich spiritual world do not need to belittle others to elevate themselves, nor do they need external recognition to satisfy vanity.
Ye Shengtao went to teach after becoming famous, and only four words were written in the experience column: "Primary school teacher".
Ji Xianlin called himself a teacher throughout his life: "My job is mainly to climb the grid. ”
When Yang Dai refused to publish the press, he only said with a little humor: "I am just a drop of water, not soapy water, and I can't blow bubbles." ”
People with high levels see through vanity, do not care about false names and floating images, and do not show off to the outside world.
Instead, it is to live yourself in a low-key way, pursue the life you want in your heart, enjoy a peaceful and quiet, indifferent and open-minded, and happy life.
03
Show off your knowledge
There is a famous word in psychology called the "Duck Effect".
In layman's terms, the more ignorant a person is, the more he thinks he is smart, and worst of all, he does not know his ignorance.
When a person goes around showing off his talents and knowledge, he reveals his shallowness and ignorance.
Su Dongpo was talented and famous when he was a teenager.
With a triumphant stroke of his pen, he wrote a couplet on the study door of the hospitality:
Read all the words in the world and read all the books on earth.
One day, an old man with white hair came to visit, saw Su Dongpo, and said, "I heard that Su Caizi's learning is unparalleled in the world, and the old man has come to ask for advice." ”
Su Dongpo was even more proud to see that such an old man had to come to consult him.
Only to see the old man holding a book, Su Dongpo took it, opened it to read, and found that most of the words in it were not recognized.
When the old man saw That Su Dongpo's face was ugly, he said:
"There are so many books in the world, it is inevitable that the prince has not seen it, I will ask others again, it will not be difficult for you."
Su Shi listened, and was immediately ashamed of himself. After the old man left, he rewrote the couplet on the door:
Indignant, he knew all the words in the world and was determined to read all the books on earth.
Most of the people who have become great things in ancient and modern times are people who are calm and calm and humble.
They know that when a person is immersed in self-righteous fantasies and blinded by arrogance, he cannot make any further progress.
To paraphrase Shakespeare's saying: A proud man always ends up destroying himself in pride.
Zeng Guofan said: "Humility and humility are noble faces.
Humble bamboo has bowed leaves, and proud bone plum has no back flower. All that is true and great is simple and humble.
Low-key, expensive but not obvious, flashy and not dazzling, is vision, is the way to success, but also the charm in a person's bones.
Source: Confucian everyone