Anxious moms

Yesterday morning, when Wang Xiaomeng appeared in the office, she yawned and looked bleak.

Colleagues asked her what was wrong, and Wang Xiaomeng's answer surprised everyone: she watched the live broadcast of adolescent psychological education at night and kept watching it late at night.

Wang Xiaomeng said: "In order to better cultivate children, I have forced myself to learn for more than half a year. ”

Learn the "Parenting Sutra" on the video

Wang Xiaomeng, who lives in the Yuhe New Town community in the urban area, has two children, the eldest son is 12 years old and will go to junior high school immediately, and the younger son is 5 years old and is attending kindergarten.

Wang Xiaomeng is a master's student who was admitted to a public institution in the urban area after graduation.

Coming out of the countryside, she tasted the sweetness of learning to change her destiny.

She felt that learning was a very important thing.

Wang Xiaomeng's eldest son, in the first few years of elementary school, has always been among the best in his grades.

What makes Wang Xiaomeng happy is that in addition to studying well, the eldest son is also more obedient in his daily life.

She has always felt that she has given birth to a child that makes people worry.

The change began when the eldest son was in the sixth grade.

Wang Xiaomeng accidentally found that the child often closed the door in the room, and when she talked to the child, the child showed great impatience.

Not only that, but the child's academic performance has declined. Before the winter vacation, the child was also called by the teacher to the parents because of the fight with his classmates.

Wang Xiaomeng realized that her child's puberty was coming, but how boys should safely spend puberty was still a blind spot in Wang Xiaomeng's parenting scriptures.

Usually busy at work, after returning home to take care of his young son, Wang Xiaomeng left less time for himself.

But for the sake of her eldest son, she still had to learn.

After coaxing her little son to sleep at night, Wang Xiaomeng will open her mobile phone and watch the live broadcast through video software.

In the live broadcast room, the teacher will talk about how to communicate with the child, the psychological and physiological changes of the teenager, etc.

Wang Xiaomeng narrowed his eyes while listening and taking notes. Halfway through the live broadcast, the teacher suggested that parents buy books, and Wang Xiaomeng did not hesitate to place an order.

As soon as the live broadcast here ended, Wang Xiaomeng quickly opened another live broadcast number to tutor children's homework.

Many times, Wang Xiaomeng will fall asleep on the live broadcast. Sometimes, she would dream in the middle of the night that her eldest son had taken the penultimate exam, and she would wake up in fright, and then turn on her mobile phone again to watch the live broadcast.

In the past six months, Wang Xiaomeng has become tired, and her family once thought that her spirit was wrong.

The books she ordered in the live broadcast room were also lost because she didn't have time to look at the ashes.

Ask the "successful mother" for advice

Wu Liyuan, 33, is a full-time mother who lives in the Tiancheng Mingyuezhou Community in the downtown area.

In order for their children to go to school, Wu Liyuan's family moved from the county to Cangzhou City.

Before the implementation of the "double reduction" policy, Wu Liyuan repeated the life of sending children, picking up children, and cooking for children every day. She doesn't like to socialize and doesn't want to reach out to anyone.

But after the implementation of the "double reduction" policy, Wu Liyuan was a little panicked.

Her child is in second grade, and in the past, her children used to do some homework every day after school, and now they don't have homework after school.

The child's final exam is also conducted through the game of breaking through the level.

Wu Liyuan is not highly educated, she has always felt that students write homework is natural, and the test score is also the most direct way.

Now in this situation, she feels that her child's learning situation has been completely out of her control. As a parent, she kind of didn't know what to do.

She called the child's teacher, who said that the child's condition was fine and that she didn't have to worry.

But Wu Liyuan was still not at ease, and she began to think of a way.

Once chatting with a friend, I learned that a child from a hometown went to school in the city, and the child studied very well. Wu Liyuan seemed to have discovered a new continent, and immediately asked for the call of this fellow and asked her to come out and sit down.

After meeting this fellow, Wu Liyuan asked her fellow villagers every question about the child: how to learn to be effective; what to do without homework; whether to buy exercise books for the child; whether there is a good learning method...

Inspired by her fellow countrymen's words, she began to move closer to the "successful mothers." For more than half a year, Wu Liyuan, who never loved socializing, actually forced herself to become a "social master".

The objects of her contacts are all the mothers of some children who are studying well in different schools.

In order to facilitate communication, she even set up a WeChat group to learn from these "successful mothers" from time to time. "At present, it seems that my method has not played much role in children's learning." But at the very least, Ms. Wu said, she gained some experience.

Learn psychological knowledge

Yu Xuan, 42, is a teacher at a psychological counseling institution in the city, mainly responsible for psychological counseling and rehabilitation for adolescents.

During her years of work, she has held several training courses on adolescent psychology.

"Every time the opening information is announced, the enthusiasm of parents to register is very high." Yu Xuan said that of course, some parents can't register and can only wait for the next training.

In addition to the popularity of the training class, over the years, she has received many parents and children who have come to consult psychological problems, and has also witnessed some parents change from "laymen" in psychology to "holders".

Zhang Peihong, 38, is Yu Xuan's former "layman" and now the "holder".

Zhang Peihong studied science and engineering at university. Zhang Peihong said that if it were not for the child, she would never have thought in her life that she would one day take the psychological counselor certificate.

Zhang Peihong's family lives in the Evergrande City Community in the Canal District and works in a company.

Because of the busy work, the child has been taken care of by the elderly at home when he was young, and Zhang Peihong has also lost a worry.

But after the child went to junior high school, she suddenly found that her child was "out of control": unable to communicate, her grades declined, and her temper became very grumpy.

Zhang Peihong took the child to Yu Xuan for psychological counseling, but after going once, the child was no longer willing to go.

Zhang Peihong consulted Yu Xuan several times, and under Yu Xuan's suggestion, she bought several psychological counseling books to read.

Slowly, she came up with the idea of taking the psychological counselor certificate, not for anything else, but to understand the child's psychology and help the child safely pass through puberty.

During that time, Zhang Peihong went to the training class after he was busy with work, read a book when he returned home, and saw that it was more than 12 o'clock at night.

Zhang Peihong said that she really took out the energy she had when she took the college entrance examination.

Fortunately, the result was good, and Zhang Peihong successfully passed the exam and got the certificate.

"I'm applying what I've learned to my kids right now." Zhang Peihong said that as a mother, she tried her best.

Genetic testing gives children specialties

Zhang Wanting, 31, has been busy listening to various art training classes these two days, and she wants to help her 5-year-old son choose a special class as soon as possible.

Zhang Wanting's family lives in the Gulou district of the city. Before this, she was reluctant to let her children learn art, because she felt that it was easier to express her skills such as learning hip-hop.

The change was due to a genetic test she gave her child.

Zhang Wanting inadvertently saw a friend in the WeChat circle of friends who did genetic testing for her child.

After learning more about the situation with her friends, Zhang Wanting also spent 2,000 yuan to entrust an institution to do genetic testing with the child's saliva.

Genetic testing is said to show where a child is susceptible to illness and where the child is more adept.

According to the results of this genetic report, Zhang Wanting's children are stronger at painting, so she began to find art and painting training classes for her children.

In the eyes of others, Zhang Wanting has done this, some of it is too hasty, and some of it is not necessary, after all, her child is only 5 years old.

Zhang Wanting said she understands what people think. But I don't know why, when she thinks about her child's problems, she always has a sense of insecurity.

Now, there is a word in society called "chicken baby", which means that children are like beating chicken blood, constantly being arranged by their parents to read, to learn, to struggle. In reality, not only are parents forcing their children to become "chicken babies", but also those parents who hope to become dragons and daughters to become phoenixes are constantly "chicken" themselves - let themselves be like "beating chicken blood" around their children.

Zhang Wanting sometimes wonders if her "chicken" herself will have a bad impact on the growth of her children, but as a mother, she cannot completely "relax".

"For the sake of the children, I have thought of all the ways I can think of, even if it is worth suffering myself." Zhang Wanting's words represent the voices of many parents.