Seeing a variety show clip, I think it is quite interesting.
Fu Seoul complained on the show that he found out that his son had blocked her. At that moment she was completely shaken.
Those familiar with Fu Seoul should know that this woman has always been proud of two things.
First, although her husband Lao Liu has a good career, he has a good relationship with her and has always been very supportive of her.
Second, she and her son have a very good parent-child relationship. She thinks she understands her son very well, and he is willing to talk to her.
I didn't expect that my son, who had such a good relationship, actually blocked her. Even Fu Seoul himself said: I can't imagine that with my parent-child relationship, this situation will even occur.
There was another thing that made her angry.
Seoul's son is 12 years old, and in order to celebrate his son's birthday, she can also be considered hollow. Fu Seoul said that he found a group of friends to come to the house to party, bought cakes for his son and blew candles, and even did not hesitate to "entertain the children in colorful clothes", singing and dancing lively.
Unexpectedly, my son was unsympathetic, seemed very resistant, and said to Fu Seoul: Mom, I don't like to be overly concerned.
Probably many parents have done this kind of thing. In order to give the baby a surprise, he took great pains to move himself to the point. Unexpectedly, people did not appreciate it, and even looked disgusted.
I found that when I was young, probably from kindergarten to the third grade of primary school, there were often classmates who invited them to celebrate their birthdays. Kids make a little field, make some ribbon balloons, get a nice cake, and they can be very happy.
As children get older, birthday parties seem to be out of fashion. Wa herself also said that it is not interesting to hold a birthday party now, playing with toys is childish, if there are parents, you have to pretend to be a lady, too tired.
I reckon that in a few years, they should take the money and fly alone, invite friends to dinner, K songs, and more and more disgusted with their parents.
Fu Seoul said her son's critical blows to her were more than that. Her son blocked her, but did not block the two mutual friends, so she saw the circle of friends sent by her son. (To be fair, now that she has just learned to shield, she is still relatively rusty, and in two years she will be dripping without leaking, and this mistake will not be made again.) The experience of children and parents in fighting wits and courage is accumulated in this way. ）
My son said: Before I knew it, I was 12 years old, and during this year, I thanked many people for accompanying me. Then he named several friends by name, but there were no fathers and mothers.
Fu Seoul was furious at the time, and his first reaction was: What? Don't I deserve your thanks?
Although she did self-psychological construction later, understanding that this was not directly related to whether she was a good mother, she was still frustrated by the fact that her son blocked her. It even destroyed a certain part of her self-confidence.
This is also very understandable, almost ninety-nine percent of mothers, all think that the baby is the best and dearest to herself. I didn't expect it to be, this kind of blow is really quite big. (What's even more shocking than this is that ninety-nine percent of dads think it's his turn to be his mother, and actually exclude better classmates, grandparents, grandparents, and grandparents, maybe in the baby's heart, the cats, dogs, and dogs in the family are ranked higher than dad...) ）
This feeling is probably called loss. You are good to a person, regard him as the closest person in the world, and you can't imagine that in the other person's heart you can't dominate the leader. Even if it is only second, it is ultimately wrongly paid.
I've been through this blow for a long time.
My bear children have always been unguarded with me. One day she was chatting with me about her best friend, and Barabala reported a string of children's names, which also excluded me.
I was half teasing her, half sour and asked, what about me?
The bear child's desire to survive was probably eaten by the dog, and after thinking about it for a while, he said: xx, you, grandma, xxx...
I was angry: How did you give me second?
Only then did she suddenly realize that she was explaining: I am talking about a good friend, you are my mother, it is different.
Good fellow, the darker the picture is, the more you say it!
However, this kind of thing, if you don't accept it, you have to accept it. As long as there is no social barrier, the person who is closest to the baby and the most talkative in her heart will sooner or later become someone else. This is precisely the sign of their grown-up, psychological maturity.
If a junior high school student, or even a high school student, has something happy or unhappy, he can only tell his mother and can't find anyone else. Far from being complacent, this is something to worry about.
Of course, the current child's life is more monotonous, basically two points and a line, if the parents still insist on pick-up, do not go home from school with classmates all the way, go home and do not go out to find children to play with, the process may be more and more delayed.
But sooner or later this day will come. Even if children are more introverted and have no good friends to say anything to them, they will no longer tell their parents everything.
Only when people are psychologically weaned first, will they gradually mature.
Fu Seoul later calmed down and tried to communicate with his son about "shielding his mother".
She lamented that she had learned to get along with children, and he grew up, so she had to figure out how to get along with teenagers.
Fu Seoul asked his son: Why block the mother?
The son replied: There are always some feelings that I don't want to be known by my parents!
(That's right, why shield you, don't have points in your heart?) I just don't want to thank my parents, and I can predict that you are not happy without thanking your parents! Children may not really know gratitude in their hearts, and may just feel that they were a little unhappy with their parents before, such as about "entertaining children at birthday parties without saying hello". Of course, it is more likely that the matter of thanking parents is too official, too adult, not cool at all, and may be laughed at by classmates. ）
Rao is a person like Fu Seoul who can speak the Tao, and he is also embarrassed. Her mind was racing with thoughts about how to reply to her son. She can't say, "I just want to know," because she seems too aggressive and controlling. Nor can we say sarcastically, Just your little broken mind, let alone for tat, and say, Well, then I will shield you.
After holding back for half a day, Fu Seoul just pretended to be a breeze and asked lightly: Oh? For example, what are the feelings?
The son dropped a sentence: I am twelve, do you still want to talk to me? Can you respect the IQ of a teenager?
K.O.
Fu Seoul was defeated.
In fact, no matter how good the parent-child relationship was before, parents and children will always come to this step. As Da Zhang Wei said, adolescence is like a cold. Whatever you do, it will take so long to be good. Taking medicine for seven days is good, not taking medicine for a week, this is a natural process, it should be good, not to the will of parents as a transfer.
As parents, we must have this realization, and one day we will be left behind by the baby and watch their backs go farther and farther.
We have to accept that their closest people will eventually turn us into their friends, spouses, and children. In any case, it is good that parents can occupy such a place in their hearts.
If it is not acceptable, the mother will inevitably become an evil mother-in-law, a bad mother-in-law, and finally a stumbling block on the child's pursuit of happiness.