Many children have had this feeling, it is very difficult to communicate with their parents, and the two sides are always talking to themselves when communicating, and they cannot understand each other's meaning. Most of these problems arise because of the lack of a sense of "boundaries". The failure of both parties to grasp the appropriate distance has caused many contradictions in the relationship.
In the family, parents have no sense of boundaries, what kind of person will the child become?
In the name of love, parents violate the boundaries of their children, control their spirits and thoughts, blindly make their children obedient, and invisibly educate their children into a person who cannot distinguish the boundaries between themselves and others.
People without a sense of boundaries have no ego and don't care about the eyes of others. They also do not know what they want, because the interference and suppression of their parents have developed a character that they will only obey, even after adulthood, they will follow this model to deal with their relationship with the people around them, with continuous sacrifice and flattery in exchange for the praise and affirmation of others, too concerned about other people's views and evaluations, so that they become people without self.
People without a sense of boundaries suppress their hearts and don't say no to things they don't like. When the child is young, if he makes a reasonable request to the parents but is not met, the child's feeling is that he is not respected and understood, and his heart will be hit, resulting in him never daring to express his feelings in the future. Habitually hiding your heart will become a person who only promises.
If you don't want to be a person without a sense of boundaries, you have to say "no" to cross-border behavior, learn to communicate with your parents correctly, and learn to reject your parents correctly.
1. Draw your own boundaries
No one can live and think for you, only you can dominate your own life. Maintain certain boundaries and distance even for your closest parents. Set yourself a degree, and then you can know which ones are your own and which are your parents'.
2. Recognize your abilities
Many people are inseparable from their parents when they become adults, because they have completely lost confidence in themselves, they do not know how to live after leaving their parents, they dare not make their own choices, they first deny themselves, do not get rid of this self-denial psychology, will never grow up.
3. Communicate sincerely with your parents
Parents love their children, they may not be able to understand your ideas at this time, a little more patience, communicate with them a few times, let them see your determination and ideas, they will always understand you.
4. Face up to who you are
Clarify your role in the family, whether it is a child or a parent, try not to be confused, not overlapping, and not crossing the line.
Only by correcting your own identity position can you do what you should do and become the person you want to be.