Hello everyone, I'm poached egg mom.
Yesterday, busy chasing Bai Baihe's new drama "Our Marriage", she played the full-time mother Shen Comet is really too good!
She was originally a high-achieving student with excellent ability, and after having children, she sacrificed her career to choose her husband and godson.
Buying a house, decorating, and moving are all done by herself!
The most exaggerated thing is that she also burns electric welding
If something breaks, take out the welding torch and get it!
She is not only capable, but also very skilled in educating children.
Take the first episode, for example, after moving to a new home, the daughter Sugar Sugar was bullied by a boy in the community and did not dare to go over and play with other children.
Her handling is very good. Here we will sell a close first, and will not disclose her practice for the time being.
I would like to ask you a question first:
What do you do when your child comes to a new environment and can't play with others?
What if your kids are introverts and don't like a lively environment?
Some parents may wonder:
“
Shouting is good to shake hands, is it so hard?
How can someone else's child be so bold? ”
They may even feel that their children are introverted and timid, and they are afraid that they will suffer losses when they go to society in the future.
Is that really the case? Today I will come and have a good chat with you.
Introversion is not a problem, prejudice is!
In many people's minds, introverts are not good at words, have poor social skills, and have little thinking and opinion.
With this thought, I can only say that you are really worried.
Here, we'll first correct one point:
Introverted and shy≠ with a flawed personality≠ did not show up when he grew up.
In fact, whether the child is introverted or extroverted,
These are all innate personality traits, and there is no distinction between superior and inferior.
Psychologist Jung mentioned in "Psychological Types": "
Introverts are attracted to the inner world of thought and feeling, and are more focused on what they understand as the meaning of the things around them.
”
That is, introverted children are energy-convergent and prefer to think deeply. It may be slow at first, but once it is determined, it will be obsessed with love.
The innate personality cannot be changed, but adults always chant: "Don't call people, no manners" and "Grow up to suffer losses", which will affect children.
To be honest, every time I see a child under pressure to say hello and forcibly integrate into the group, I feel sorry for him.
If you don't say hello, you will be labeled as "rude" and "disobedient", and even scolded.
There are also some tiger parents, who exercise their children's courage in the name of exercising their children's courage, and throw their children to the train station and other places with huge traffic...
There is a "label effect" in psychology,
It means that once a person is labeled, his behavior will unconsciously correspond to the content on the label. Over time, it will become the kind of person that the label marks.
So, instead of tangling with children growing up,
I would like to suggest that you don't label your children anymore!
Besides, many introverts are very good: such as Newton, Einstein, Zuckerberg, Miyazaki, Zhou Xingchi, Liang Chaowei...
The next time someone says that introverts are not good, you may wish to bravely refute them!
How can adults help babies take this step?
So, if the child can't make new friends, doesn't he really care at all?
It can't be said that, after all, people live in society, and there will always be social needs. If it has affected normal life, then adults should shoot when they should shoot!
However, here is a prerequisite, please repeat it with me three times:
Respect the nature of children, and should not be hasty.
The parenting book once said that we should accept the child unconditionally, that is to say, we love the child himself,
No matter what he looks like, we love him.
Whether extroverted or introverted, we accept, rather than rushing to deny or accuse,
Push him out and push him to a place where he hasn't gotten used to it yet.
Many children are timid, in fact, because they have no social experience.
When encountering problems, I don't know what to say, and I show that I am silent and helpless.
Parents are the best teachers for their children, and what you want their children to do, show them to them first.
Like Bai Baihe mentioned earlier, she did this when dealing with her daughter's problem.
She saw her daughter standing alone, looking at the children playing together, looking lost.
First of all, good words of comfort, understand the reasons, and support the daughter:
"It's a very small thing that we can fix."
Then he took his daughter to the middle of the children and asked everyone if they wanted to play eagle catching chickens?
When the children heard it, they were very excited and scrambled to say that they wanted to play.
In this way, she played the hen, and another mother played the eagle, leading the children to play on the grass.
The daughter's unhappiness was swept away, and her face was filled with a bright smile.
At the same time, we can also take our children to read picture books and watch cartoons, draw strength from the world that children are familiar with, and understand social etiquette.
Here, I would like to share with you a short film "The Cave",
Also known as "The Forced Social Record of a Social Dinosaur Rabbit"!
The protagonist is a socially feared bunny who is ready to build himself the ideal home – away from his neighbors and living quietly and alone.
But the underground was crowded and full of small animals.
So, it dug desperately into the ground, digging deeper and deeper, and then a shovel dug through the groundwater.
This is a tragedy!
Not only was his house not built, but his neighbors were flooded.
The little rabbit had no choice but to ask the neighbor for help.
With the support of all sides, the small animals worked together to quickly drain the accumulated water and save everyone's common home.
Moreover, with the help of the neighbors, the little rabbit also optimized the ideal home and obtained a more chic cabin.
It found that it wasn't that hard to integrate into the group.
Everyone lives in complex social relationships and is never an island. However, everyone also has their own rhythm and will be immersed in their own world.
Therefore, it doesn't matter if the spark with the surrounding "neighbors" comes a little slower.
Sometimes, what a child needs is just a suitable opportunity.
When we take our children to watch this cartoon, we can also discuss it with him:
If it were you, what would you do if you encountered this situation?
-Write on the back-
There are no two leaves in the world, and there are no two children with the same.
Stop forcing introverted children to become extroverts, they have a growth trajectory that suits them.
Red flowers and green leaves, each with its own beauty. We need to learn to appreciate, not to use uniform standards to make all children exactly the same.