One.
My parents introduced me to work again.
But I was doing a decent job, but because my job was in another city and it wasn't the kind of stable job they saw, they weren't satisfied.
Every time I come home, I can always hear their nagging.
Either I was persuaded to hurry home and work there, or I was persuaded to go to the civil service examination or become a teacher.
They've even started calling relatives on their own initiative to help me find a job.
I was a little helpless, but also a little angry.
On the one hand, I knew in my heart that they were worried that I would not be doing well, so they helped me find a job;
But on the other hand, such "self-assertion" is more of a kind of looking down, looking down on the job I chose myself, looking down on my current life.
So I told my parents that I was doing well, and then firmly refused the job they had introduced me to.
But life was always so unexpected, and the next day, I lost my job.
Two.
It is embarrassing to be unemployed at this point in the year.
This means that I have lost the material conditions to survive in this city and have difficulty finding a better job in a short period of time.
Rent, water and electricity, eating, raising cats, each of which costs a lot of money, if there is no salary, how long can I sustain it?
Worse than that, I lost the only bargaining chip I could have with my parents.
I think back a few days ago, I told my parents that I was doing well, but now, all this instantly turned into a joke, and I no longer had the courage to fight them.
The words of my parents have been ringing in my head, "I must quickly find my own position, and I can't continue to mix like this." ”
So for a week after I lost my job, I was immersed in a "I'm ashamed" mood.
I have found that once people fall, the first thing they think about is not how to get up, but they will begin to doubt themselves, "Why did I live my life like this?" ”
Then there are all kinds of meaningless assumptions that are constantly being made, such as:
If I had listened to my parents, wouldn't I have become what I am now; if I had gone to the exam like a friend, wouldN't I have no trouble?
With such emotions, I was even more afraid to confess to my parents that I had lost my job.
Three.
But something even more unfortunate happened, and a month later, my parents still knew about my unemployment.
I had thought many times about how my parents would react when they knew I was unemployed.
Either they told me to hurry home, or they would blame me for not listening to them and choosing a stable job.
But to my surprise, my mother's first reaction was not to persuade me not to stay in Guangzhou.
Instead, he said, "How uncomfortable it is for you to bear this alone." ”
It turned out that in the context of mom, the first thing she heard was not "I failed" but "I was hurt."
I explained to my mother that I didn't dare to say it because I was afraid that you would let me leave Guangzhou, that you would no longer let me do the work I loved.
At this time, I thought that my mother would blame me for hiding from them for so long.
But she said, "Hey, mom, this parent has done a good job and failed, so that you don't dare to talk to me about anything." ”
I found that my mother didn't care about the fact that I was unemployed, but that she didn't know anything about how unhappy I was.
At that moment, I suddenly felt a little guilty as to why I hadn't told my parents sooner.
Four.
Later, in order to make up for the guilt, I took the initiative to talk to my mother about my recent situation, and I told her that I had found a job that I liked again.
This time, she did not persuade me to go home again, nor did she persuade me to take the exam again, but told me to work hard, perform well, and strive to quickly turn positive in the current company.
Curious, I asked my mother why she had changed her attitude.
She asked me a question: "Do you remember what your first reaction was after you fell when you were a child?" ”
I thought about it, when I fell as a child, the first time I must have cried to find my parents.
Mom then said, "But the older you get, the less reluctant you are to tell me where you hurt." ”
Listening to my mother's words, I suddenly remembered something.
Last year, I lost a lot of money because of renting a house, and I didn't have any savings when I just graduated, but I didn't look for my parents for the first time.
Instead, he hid it from them, asked his friend to borrow money, and filled in the hole.
Later, my mother also learned about this matter, and she did not seem to be happy that I solved the problem independently, but asked me with some frustration: "Why do you tell my mother now?" ”
I found that all along, I was too concerned about the taste of being blamed by my parents, and then I ignored one thing:
It turned out that my reluctance to expose my wounds to my parents would have dealt them such a heavy blow.
Ironically, it was me who kept complaining that my parents didn't understand me, and the person who pushed my parents away with my own hands was me.
Writing this, I remembered what my mother said to me at the end:
"I'm very happy that you didn't hide from me this time."
"Remember, Mom always wanted to be that, the first person to know you were sad and sad."