Differentiated treatment is a very terrible thing, people who are treated differently, the weak side, often have a lot of resentment, the dissatisfaction in their hearts accumulates more and more, and eventually erupts, which will produce large and small shields. If in a family, the elders treat their juniors differently, then the family is also prone to conflicts and quarrels. This kind of differential treatment will lay the foundation for a family and will also cause hidden dangers for the family's emotional crisis.
An emotional blogger once said:
"When I am treated differently, I feel that the whole world is not good for me, unfair."
If you want harmonious family relations, then it is best to treat them equally as elders. Take the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law as an example, if as a mother-in-law, it is a very normal thing to prefer your own son, after all, it is born and raised by yourself, and the daughter-in-law, as a new family member, does not spend a long time together, but this preference can only be placed in the heart, not in behavior.
01. When I met a calculating mother-in-law, I lost my shopping freedom, and she thought that the money I earned was not eligible to spend;
Liu Xiaoting's recent life is very distressing, she thought that after marrying her husband Zhang Xu, what awaited her was a sweet married life, but she did not expect that Zhang Xu's mother had already made her life unhappy.
Liu Xiaoting and her husband Zhang Xu discussed that the money earned by the couple, in addition to a part of it taken out as family expenses and as a family deposit, some of the rest of the money was free to dispose of. But Zhang Xu's mother does not think so, every time Liu Xiaoting buys herself new clothes or cosmetics, she will be nagged by Zhang Xu's mother, and sometimes even accuse her, saying: "Daughter-in-law, how can you spend money indiscriminately?" My son makes money so easily, the extra money should be saved, you always buy these useless clothes and cosmetics, my son earns money and puts it at home, do you see what he himself bought? Do you mean that? Don't you feel sorry for your husband? ”
Liu Xiaoting was very speechless in her heart, and she wanted to roll her eyes, but she resisted, she wanted to reason with Zhang Xu's mother: "Mom, Zhang Xu he also spends money, he didn't buy clothes, didn't buy cosmetics, but he bought tickets for football games, sometimes he runs to other places to watch ball games, a flower is several thousand, do you see this machine?" His newly purchased game consoles are almost ten thousand smaller. Zhang Xu's mother was speechless for a moment, but quickly retorted: "Why did he watch a ball game with a big man?" Ball games are not available every day, and this game console is bought back, don't you also use it? Liu Xiaoting wanted to laugh out loud, but she held back and replied patiently: "The ball game is not every day, my clothes are not bought every day, I buy one or two pieces a month." ”
Of course, the dialogue between the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law was not happy, and every time Liu Xiaoting wanted to be reasonable, but Zhang Xu's mother could not listen to it at all, and she did not put Liu Xiaoting in a position of equal communication at all. Daughter-in-law buying things will be blamed, his son buys things when he can't see, looking at his mother-in-law's double-standard approach, Liu Xiaoting has given up the plan to communicate with her, she thinks, only married for less than a year, do not want to make a contradiction, buy less things after the big deal, or buy not let the mother-in-law know.
02. My birthday mother gave me a mink coat, but I was remembered by my mother-in-law and wanted to take it to give gifts to relatives;
When Liu Xiaoting calmed down, the family's life went on like this, and soon the days came to the day of Liu Xiaoting's birthday.
On this day, Liu Xiaoting's family of three returned to her mother's house for dinner, and Liu Xiaoting's parents had already made meals at home to celebrate her birthday. After eating, Liu Xiaoting's mother took out a gift box from the room and said: "Girl, this is the birthday gift I prepared for you, you can open it and see if you like it or not." Signaling Liu Xiaoting to open, Liu Xiaoting did so, the box was a piece of clothing, Liu Xiaoting picked it up and touched it, found that it was actually a mink coat, and couldn't help asking: "Mother, why did you buy me such a big mink coat?" It cost a lot of money. Liu Xiaoting's mother replied: "Fortunately, Tuo's acquaintance spent 30,000 yuan." ”
Liu Xiaoting looked at this quality and coat color is indeed very good, these 30,000 pieces of flowers are also worth it, but then she is very distressed: "But how should I wear it?" I don't have any clothes to wear with it, and I don't want to wear it in my workplace, or you can keep it for yourself. "You'll take your birthday present..." The mother and daughter were pushing each other. Zhang Xu's mother on the side heard the price of this dress, and her eyes were straight.
After returning home, Liu Xiaoting locked the dress in the cupboard and did not intend to wear it. At this time, Zhang Xu's mother pulled her son aside, saying her plan, she wanted to take Liu Xiaoting's mink coat to send Zhang Xu's aunt, because the son of the aunt was engaged in politics and had recently been promoted, and the aunt was also about to celebrate her birthday, just to give a good gift to the other party. Zhang Xu didn't even think about it, and directly refused, this kind of behavior is too reckless, saying that it is not good is bribery.
03. After learning that my mother-in-law planned to sell my mink clothes, my mother-in-law fell out with me, and I did not want to be wronged;
Zhang Xu thought about it, but still told his wife Liu Xiaoting the content of his mother's conversation. After Liu Xiaoting listened, she was already angry and laughed, if this mink coat was really sent out, not only could it not please others, but it would offend others, and it would also cause trouble for herself. She thought about it for a moment, then said to her husband, "I'm going to sell this mink coat, and I won't wear it anyway." Piaf is innocent, but he is guilty. As long as he is still in my hands one day, my mother-in-law will always remember. Zhang Xu also agreed with his wife's plan.
Sure enough, Zhang Xu's mother did not work here with her son, so she planned to tackle the problem from the side of her daughter-in-law Liu Xiaoting, and she was talking endlessly about the benefits after sending this mink coat out, Liu Xiaoting directly interrupted: "Mom, do you want to send something else, this dress I have already sold, the money sold, I used it to buy new clothes." Zhang Xu's mother was very angry: "Daughter-in-law, why are you so bad, thirty thousand pieces of mink clothes are sold when they are sold, every day I buy new clothes for myself, I haven't even changed a piece of underwear, no matter how rich I am, I can't be such a loser!" Liu Xiaoting replied unhurriedly: "My mother bought it for me, how to deal with it is my freedom, and this is my money, how to spend it is also my right." Miss Liu didn't want to put up with it, she directly showdown, Zhang Xu's mother was angry and scolded.
Liu Xiaoting did not want to entangle with her and went directly back to the room, but Zhang Xu's mother continued to scold at the door. Liu Xiaoting really couldn't stand it, so she directly packed up her bags and went back to her mother's house.
Later, Zhang Xu returned home and found that his wife ran back to his mother's house, and his mother complained about Liu Xiaoting's bad behavior, and Zhang Xu felt that he could not get used to his mother. Therefore, he explained the reasoning in a very irrefutable attitude, told her the reason why she could not give gifts, and also said his wife's grievances. After Mr. Zhang's mother listened, she did not know how to refute it, a little weak-minded, Mr. Zhang finally only said, continue like this, maybe this daughter-in-law will be gone, and the family will be separated.
Zhang Xu's mother did not want such a thing to happen and decided to go with her son to coax her daughter-in-law back. Liu Xiaoting looked at her mother-in-law with a sincere attitude and quickly reconciled with her.
Due to Zhang Xu's mother's obvious eccentricity, the grievances and dissatisfaction in her daughter-in-law Liu Xiaoting's heart accumulated more and more. In the end, the daughter-in-law was gassed away, and of course the responsibility should also be attributed to Zhang Xu's mother. A person who is not related by blood is under no obligation to be good to you. For Liu Xiaoting, she honors Zhang Xu's mother, not because she has love for her in her heart, but because he is her husband's mother. Liu Xiaoting is to maintain the harmony of the family, will tolerate everywhere, but a person's patience is limited, like a balloon, if you keep blowing air into it, then the balloon will eventually explode.
There is a saying:
"The Tao is different, not conspiratorial."
Liu Xiaoting and her mother-in-law are not the same people, and the differences in ideology and concepts are also very large, so it is easy for contradictions between the two of them. However, when problems arise, they always have to be faced and solved, and it is precisely because Liu Xiaoting has been avoiding problems that more and more contradictions will be made. When you encounter a problem, the best way is to solve it.