Children cry at every turn, in fact, is a very common phenomenon, but many parents can not stand this behavior of their children at all, one is that children crying is really annoying; second, if children cry, parents will be very distressed.
Xiao Ou's temper when he was a child was not very good, he would cry at every turn, sometimes he would cry when he was not satisfied with something in his heart, sometimes he would cry when he was tired of walking, and even sometimes he didn't know how to cry, which made Xiao Ou's mother have a very headache.
Originally, When Xiao Ou cried, her mother tried not to be angry, but Xiao Ou often cried non-stop, so Xiao Ou's mother couldn't help it, and yelled "Don't cry" when Xiao Ou cried vigorously, wanting to stop Xiao Ou's crying, and as a result, Xiao Ou was surprised and paused, but she cried even harder, and Xiao Ou's mother almost collapsed.
After that, Xiao Ou's mother adopted a more rude language method, wanting to stop Xiao Ou's crying behavior, although some methods can temporarily stop the child's crying, but what Xiao Ou's mother does not know is that in fact, the child's psychological environment is being destroyed little by little.
When the child cries, what words cannot be said, the parents must have a number in their hearts
Most parents may say some emotional words when their children cry, in fact, these words do not play a positive role in the child's crying, some seem to make the child stop crying, but in fact, it causes more harm than letting the child continue to cry.
When a child cries, the most useless thing to say is, "Don't cry."
Generally speaking, this sentence is said by some parents who do not know how to educate their children, in desperation, because parents do not know what way to stop their children's crying, and can only express the results they hope to achieve in the most direct language, that is, the way of "don't cry".
But in fact, this expression is the most useless, for example, if you want to test 100 points, it is not to say: "I want to test 100 points" can test 100 points, but you need to go through a series of processes to achieve this goal.
Therefore, this kind of behavior of directly expressing the desired result without using any means to stop the child from crying will not work.
When a child cries, the most emotionally hurtful thing is to say, "I don't want you to cry again."
This is a common method used by many parents, and it is almost always used by older parents. We can find that in fact, many times this sentence has a certain effect, because after the parent says this sentence, the child may forcibly hold back and not cry. Therefore, many parents feel that this is the right way to stop their children from crying. As everyone knows, such words are very harmful.
I remember when I was a child, there was a neighbor, when his child cried, he would often say this sentence to the child, resulting in a serious lack of security in the child, usually if the parents went out without telling the child, the child would be upset.
Sometimes when taking children out, children on the street will also cling to the corners of their parents' clothes, afraid that parents will not want themselves.
All kinds of phenomena are enough to show that the child's psychological environment has begun to distort, but the parents are not yet self-aware, so that in the end, the child's mental problems, all day long suffering from gains and losses.
When a child cries, the most destructive thing about the child is to say, "What else would you do but cry?" ”
This sentence can be said to be the ultimate trick for parents to destroy their children, many people have personally experienced such words, what was everyone thinking in their hearts at that time?
Obviously, it is a strong inferiority complex, feeling that you are not only useless, but also very redundant, and even sometimes some radical ideas burst out of the child's mind, such as using life to prove what he "will do" and so on. In the end, these children may form a strong sense of self-confidence, some people will also form a more distorted personality, etc., originally an excellent seedling, it is likely to be ruined by the parents' words and ruin their entire lives.
Well, for the child's crying behavior, smart parents will say these two sentences, which are very useful
Smart parents are mostly responsible parents, they will think in advance of their own words, what kind of impact may have on the child, if it is negative, then it is better to say it in the rotten stomach, if it is positive, they will use, and when the child cries, smart parents will generally say these two sentences:
Cry out, Mom/Dad with you
Many times, the child cries because of grievances, or some other reasons that cause the child to be emotionally excited, at this time the parents need to do, is not to immediately stop the child's crying, because the child's emotional fluctuations can not get the effect of immediate stopping, the best way is to let the child cry.
Of course, parents can not hang the child there to let the child cry by himself, but to provide a certain comfort to the child, such as holding the child, or sitting together silently to comfort the child, etc., so that the child will completely release his emotional fluctuations, when the child's emotions gradually calm, it will gradually stop crying.
Throughout the process of reassurance, the child receives a sense of security and love from the parents, the child will be more positively affected, so as to stop crying autonomously, and the child will be less likely to cry in the future.
Mom/Dad knows you're sad, but you have to cheer up
Sometimes, when the child fails to do something, or suffers some setbacks, causing the child to cry because of the loss of self-confidence, parents should pay attention to first understanding the child's mood, and then encourage the child.
In fact, at this time, the child cries because of the lack of confidence in themselves, when the child receives encouragement from the closest person, that is, the parent, he will establish more self-confidence, so as to stop crying and shift his attention to overcoming difficulties.
Treat crying children in this way, children will be more confident in the future, and their personalities will be more determined, and they will not cry often.
Write at the end
Children cry are for a reason, after figuring out the reason, it is not difficult to solve the problem, therefore, in the face of children crying, parents must not yell at the child, or ignore the child, must be attentive + careful + patient, so that the child can develop and become an excellent child.
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