It is also the Spring Festival, everyone is in a lively and lively New Year's greeting, at the same time, now a new word is popular on the Internet: broken relatives.
The so-called "severance of relatives" does not mean that the relationship with relatives is completely severed, but specifically refers to the reluctance to move around with relatives during the New Year's Festival, and it seems that the relationship with relatives is very cold.
Especially for the post-90s and post-00s with strong self-awareness, it seems that the New Year's gift is just a "political task", even if it is to the relatives' home, it will "perform poorly", and it will not take a few minutes to quickly find an excuse to escape.
Some parents will also blame the child for being too cold and introverted, but is the problem really so simple?
Children become "broken relatives"? These 3 kinds of "pseudo" affection are better to have less contact
If individual children are unwilling to visit relatives' homes and contact feelings, the problem may indeed be in the child, but if most children are disgusted by the fact that they are walking relatives, then it may not be a problem of the child itself, such as the following 3 kinds of "pseudo" family affection, it is easy for children to have resistance to relatives, or less contact is better.
1. Distant relatives who like to compare
When we take our children to visit relatives' homes, some relatives will keep asking, the children are still in school, the other party will ask about academic performance, personality, what positions are in the class, the child has just started working, the other party will ask what occupation, how much salary, welfare and so on.
In the process of inquiring, he will also "inadvertently" reveal the specific situation of his child:
"My children are not much stronger, and this year's exam was not easy to take the first place"
"Or your children are strong, although my children can't earn much as a teacher, but they are better at leisure and sloppy to make a living."
Although these words may sound like no problem at first, it is not difficult to find the other party's flaunting intention after a little thought, just imagine how helpless the post-90s and post-00s will be when they hear such a comparison, so for such "hypocritical" relatives, less contact is also beyond reproach.
2. Relatives whose interests are paramount
In the past, the living distance between relatives was not far, and they watched over each other on weekdays, and naturally walked around more.
Time to now, many relatives usually do not have much contact with each other, only when there is something to ask for each other will contact each other, and once they can not provide help, or there is no real interest at the moment, sometimes it will attract the other party's disgust, for this kind of "interest first" relatives, it is better to move less.
For example, I have a little niece after 00, she is in college, and this year she encountered a similar situation.
Because of the epidemic, the children of the niece's distant relatives took the winter vacation earlier, so the distant relative came to visit and said that he wanted to ask the little niece after 00 to do homework for free, but the niece already had a winter vacation plan, so she refused the other party's request.
Who thought that the relatives were rejected immediately darkened, but also sneered several sentences, and finally went away, leaving only the little niece lamenting that the other party "turned the face faster than the book"
3. Relatives with different appearances
Perhaps because of the reason that there is no contact on weekdays, although some relatives are very kind on the surface and enthusiastically say that they want to prepare meals, they have no actual action, and walking around with such relatives is more like "going through the motions", and there is no affection for each other.
Especially after the 90s and 00s have distinct personalities, they have a low tolerance for such hypocritical courtesy, and they are naturally unwilling to go to such relatives' homes, and such "pseudo" relatives really do not have much need to come and go.
It is not advisable to completely "cut off relatives", and parents should also guide them appropriately
Although the above 3 kinds of "pseudo" family affection, do not move around, but for children, completely "cut off relatives" is not advisable, on the one hand, some affectionate, close relatives should maintain contact, on the other hand, in the long run, learn to visit relatives and friends, for children is also an exercise in interpersonal skills, we parents should be appropriate guidance.
For example, teach children the necessary etiquette, let children understand how to behave in relatives' homes, how to call some relatives who usually see less, do not look down at the mobile phone when chatting, do not be willful, and so on.
In addition, if you take your child to visit some relatives who are not familiar with each other, we had better not stay too long and send blessings and gifts to you, otherwise not only will the child feel embarrassed, but there will not be much topic between adults.
Finally, we must always pay attention to the child's situation, the key time for the child to break the siege, especially when some relatives make some relatives some relatives of the lower jokes, we must pay attention to support the child, otherwise the child will not only go farther and farther on the road of "breaking the family", the relationship with the parents will also be affected.
epilogue:
Visiting relatives and friends during the New Year's Festival is originally a fine traditional custom on the mainland, but it has changed its taste because of the "pseudo" family affection of some relatives.
For relatives in similar to the above 3 situations, it is better for us to move around less, and for those relatives who should keep in touch, we must pay attention to guiding the children, so that the children realize that the relatives are not as full of hypocritical courtesy as imagined, and treating each other with sincerity is the way to get along with relatives.
Today's topic: Do you have children around you who are "broken relatives"?