How many things in this world are wrong in "I thought". I thought it was for your own good, I thought it was what you wanted. However, we ignore the premise that I think is that we think from our own point of view.
But we ignore what we give to each other, not what the other party wants. If what we give the other person is not what the other party wants, then even if it is the best thing, his heart is not willing to accept it.
It's like asking everyone the question: "What others give you for free, do you have to accept it?" ”
I think most people are in this situation, if it is not what they need, what others give to them for free is not necessarily accepted.
Because, human beings are dignified and have the right to choose. It's like the old saying goes: "The poor can't move the mighty and unyielding." Indeed, help should be acceptable to both parties. Rather than giving it unilaterally. Unilaterally thinking that I am doing it all for your own good.
But how do you know that what you give to the other person must be what he wants? Often, sometimes, we do bad things with good intentions, and it is because of this mentality. From your own point of view, think that what I give you is for your own good.
But in the eyes of the party being helped, he did not think that this was helping him. It's imposing on him what he can't accept. For example, the other party does not like to eat the same thing, but you feel that eating such a thing is good for the body, so you clip it into the other person's bowl. The other party can't say anything for the sake of face, but this kind of action has actually made the other party feel uncomfortable.
It's like watching a TV series that has such a plot that Mrs. Lin lives in a relatively simple rental house, and the things in it are older.
Some volunteer colleagues in the community knew about Mrs. Lin's situation and wanted to help her improve her living environment, and in order to improve Mrs. Lin's living environment, they provided him with a new five-story chest of drawers for free. But her original home had an old four-story chest of drawers, and she didn't need to replace it with a new one.
In fact, there is nothing wrong with this starting point. But the way they did it was unacceptable to Mrs. Lin. As Mrs. Lin has always emphasized in the play: "I don't know how you do things, you haven't listened to me, and I don't want money." ”
Oh, yes! Because they didn't start from Mrs. Lin's point of view, they didn't listen to what kind of change she really wanted. Didn't give her the respect she should have.
It is true that Mrs. Lin's living environment is indeed unsatisfactory, but this does not mean that she does not have needs, she cannot ask for it, and she must accept any help you give her.
If we think about it, in our lives, we have all experienced such a situation, and the help given by others is sometimes not what we need.
The reason for this is that in most cases, we think from our own perspective. It's as if in life, the most we hear is "I'm all for your own good", such as:
You have to listen to me about this, I'm all for your own good.
Don't blame me for this, I'm all for your own good.
I've paid so much, and I'm all for your own good.
I do this, all for your own good.
But it's easy to overlook that it's ultimately someone else and not yourself. In fact, from our own point of view, our starting point is not wrong, and it is indeed for your own good.
It's just that sometimes, there are some things that are not well-intentioned and good. For example, it is like when a child goes to school, the most likely thing for parents to say is "I am all for your own good", going to interest classes is for the good of the child, and going to extracurricular tutoring is for the good of the child.
There's nothing wrong with that, but sometimes he doesn't need it for kids, so we actually have to say less in our lives, "I'm all for your own good." "Instead, communicate more with each other, such as whether the child's interest is his favorite, not what you impose on him."
After all, we all understand such a truth, and the premise given is that the other party is willing to accept, not what you forced me. Help should be acceptable to both parties.
Wen | Ming floating life
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