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Author | Red fish
Source | Selective Academy (ID: zexuetang_com)
Many parents will have such a problem: what should I do if my child fights at school and is bullied?
Today's article is written by a teacher who uses real cases that happened in her class to tell parents that children are bullied, and how parents deal with them affect their children's lives.
Yesterday was my class, and the students in the class were as free and active as ever.
We are rehearsing a textbook play, which is about a monk who sees a bird swallowing a ruby and is whipped by the monk himself in order to protect the bird from being cut.
Children use their ingenuity to make props using the limited resources in the classroom.
Brother Xiang just happened to have a ruby-like illuminator, which immediately attracted the attention of his classmates, and everyone borrowed it from him. The textbook drama is even more emotional because of the appearance of the "ruby" of the brother.
After class, the students were still interested for a long time and did not want to leave. I was talking to parents about the children's performance when I suddenly heard a "pop" sound.
I looked back through the open door: something bounced up and shattered under the stairway, and then a surprising scene happened:
One child's raised hand hit the other child hard in the face.
I immediately rushed out, grabbed a child with one hand, and shouted, "No fights!" The two children stopped at once.
I fixed my eyes on it: it turned out to be brother and Xiao Qiang! I looked again, and my heart sank sharply, thinking that the brother's face would start with four deep scratches from the left eyebrow through the eyes, through the face, through the chin, all the way to the neck.
The skin the size of a small fingernail on his eyelids was gone, oozing blood.
This is the scar I have seen in my life, and the fight between children is so shocking!
I looked at Xiao Qiang again, and there was a red mark the size of a fist in the left forehead. I looked at the two children calmly, quickly dismissed all the children and parents, and took the two perpetrators to the classroom to inquire:
"Say, which of you two moves your hands first?"
The two little men both lowered their heads, trying to hold back their tears, thinking that the brother thought about it, and the momentum was obviously weaker: "It's me..."
"Why did you do it?"
"He broke my ruby illuminator..."
"You, Johnny, why did you break his illuminator?"
"I didn't know that the illuminator was his. He had to ask me for it, and I got it from another classmate. So I threw it at him..."
"Why did you throw it at him and not give it back to him well?"
"I didn't take it from him, so who made him chase me?"
"Then you scratched him so hard?"
"Who let him hit me first..."
"Brother, why did you hit him?"
"He broke my illuminator..."
"Well, the case is deadlocked, and from this point of view, you both have a responsibility to play fifty boards each, but..."
Once again, I carefully observed the wound on Xiang Brother's face, and the wound still made me feel painful. Although I am not his mother, as long as my mother sees this, her heart will hurt...
Brother Xiang held back the tears tightly, and I examined his wounds again and found that he was not only scratched on the face, but also had two arms.
On one of the arms, there were four deep scratches. Two or three pieces of skin the size of a fingernail on the other arm were missing, oozing scarlet blood. Obviously, this duel wants to suffer a big loss.
I quickly called the two parents and asked them to get to school as soon as possible, but found that Xiao Qiang's father had already arrived. He was standing right behind me, seemingly playing with his phone, without saying a word.
I looked at Daddy:
"You see, put people..." Xiao Qiang's father said lightly: "Teacher, it is normal for boys to fight..."
Then, looking at the brother said:
"He broke your illuminator, how much money I will pay you..." said, took out 6 yuan and handed it to Brother Xiang, and then continued to play with the mobile phone.
I don't know why, I have an unspeakable feeling in my heart, I don't know if it is a role reversal, Xiao Qiang is caught like this, as a father can play with mobile phones so calmly...
Thinking that the corner of my brother's eyes was oozing blood, I put my brother under the crook of my arm, and after a while I thought that my brother's mother had arrived, although I called her in advance and told her about the child's situation, and wanted her to have a mental preparation.
However, the moment she saw the child, her face suddenly changed, and an incomparably heart-wrenching thing quickly spread throughout her eyes, but xiang brother's mother still resisted.
She simply said softly:
"Brother, do you need me to hug you?"
Brother Xiang stubbornly shook his head.
I stated the origin of the matter, wanted my brother's mother to look at my brother and looked at Xiao Qiang, and then said calmly:
"When this happens, you two are at fault, and you two recognize each other's mistakes and apologize!"
Want brother to bite his lip tightly, Xiao Qiang held his head high, I looked at Xiao Qiang, and finally wanted brother to take two steps forward and took the initiative to extend his hand...
Xiang Brother's mother looked at Xiao Qiang's father, who still seemed to be playing with his mobile phone, and then said another sentence, which seemed to be said to Xiang Brother, and it was like saying to two children:
"You remember, at any time, a fight won't solve the problem. Today you both lose. I hope you will learn your lessons. ”
Little Strong Dad finally looked up from playing with his mobile phone. He said to his sister and sister:
"If your child has scars on his face or has any problems calling us..."
Thinking brother mom didn't speak. She glanced at her son again, and I followed his gaze, but I couldn't help but look at my brother:
The four scratches on his face were more legible because of the blood oozing out, and I even suspected that they were scratched with iron hooks.
I grabbed Xiao Qiang's hand and found that each of his fingernails was cut into a triangle, and my heart immediately ached: I knew that I wanted to be a good boy, Taught him for four or five years, he had never fought with anyone, his face was red...
At the same time, I sympathize with this 10-year-old Xiao Qiang, what kind of psychology makes him always ready to attack others?
Thinking that my brother's mother saw Xiao Qiang's nails, I had not yet opened my mouth, she seemed to be examining herself against all people:
"When such a thing happens to a child, in the final analysis, it is the problem of the parents, I am not a parent, the child is gone!"
People disperse, but my heart does not disperse...
I was thinking: If it were my child, what would I do?
I was thinking: What would a man do if he saw his child being caught like this?
I was thinking: What would I do if I was a child and I was caught like this?
…
I still called my brother's mother, and we talked about why I wanted my brother to do it.
Xiang Brother's mother said: "I asked my child, Xiao Qiang did not return the illuminator to Xiang Brother, thinking of Brother pulled Xiao Qiang not to let him go, so Xiao Qiang scratched Xiang Brother's arm, scratched Xiang Brother pain, wanted Brother to start beating him ..."
I remembered the scar on my brother's arm and exclaimed, "That's the way it is!" Why did brother say that he moved his hand first? Why didn't he say that Xiao Qiang scratched him first? I asked.
Xiang Brother's mother did not answer, she just said: "Teacher, it doesn't matter, although today I saw the moment I missed My Brother, I almost cried out, but any experience of the child, whether it is good or bad, is wealth for the child, is a kind of growth ..."
I don't know why, I was deeply impressed by this thin woman: in the face of her child's almost broken face, but can be so wise and calm, this should be a good demonstration and education for children!
The next day, Xiao Qiang's mother publicly apologized to Xiang Brother in the class group, and the matter seemed to end successfully, but for me, it did not seem to be over...
I was reminded of the problem behind the incident.
I remembered what my brother's mother said: "The problem of the child, in the final analysis, is the problem of the parents..."
I called my mother again: "Brother and Mother, your child suffered a loss yesterday, I would like to know how your follow-up education is, can we communicate?" ”
Thinking of my brother's mother laughing, she said:
Teacher, to be honest, if my child had scratched someone else's child's face like this, I would have picked him up hard. However, it was the other children who scratched my child's face like this, and I was a little more at ease.
I know it may be unfair to my brother, but he is a boy, and I hope he can be responsible, have the ability to prevent any vicious incidents from happening, and now that it is a time of peace, as a man, I hope he can be a gentleman, can deal with problems in a good way, even if it is a little loss I think there is nothing.
Moreover, my child will not suffer losses, because he can distinguish between good and bad from a young age, people respect me, I respect people, people bully me, I will never let others slaughter, the reason why such a thing happened yesterday is that he did not expect this child to be so cruel.
"Then I would like to know, how did you teach your son to face such a cruel child, and what should he do in the future when he encounters similar problems?"
Thinking that the brother's mother smiled, she did not answer my question directly, but a crisp voice sounded:
Teacher, I did not deliberately mention this matter, I think parents can not pay too much attention to this matter, that is, they must think that their children suffer losses, which is not good for children.
Secondly, the child who scratched my child was actually quite pitiful, and the reason why he was so cruel was only two situations, one may be that the family is extremely spoiled and lawless; the other is that he is beaten very badly by his parents.
Finally, I just said to my children that when my mother was young, she knew that the world was complicated and everyone had it, but no matter what kind of people, my mother got along well with them.
Try to see the strengths of others, and then use your good aspects, or borrow the fire of the other person's goodness to try to guide him to the sea of goodness.
Of course, you are yourself, you can also solve it in your own way, no matter how your mother respects you.
I don't know why, I always want to shed tears, for a mother I think can be called a great mother, everyone can be a decent gentleman when spending a good full moon, but in the war, the relationship between vital interests and the most loved people, still so rational, I am truly impressed.
Although I had basically guessed the answer, I still wanted to verify the child's answer, so I continued to ask, "So, how does Brother Xiang say it?" ”
Xiang Brother's mother replied embarrassedly: "I want Brother to say that he doesn't want to be so close to Xiao Qiang, and he doesn't want to be close to Xiao Qiang in the future..."
There seems to be a real answer to the matter, and I would like to ask you, who has suffered in this scratching incident?
The child is ignorant, he knows the world from the eyes of adults, but also in the process of emulating adults to grow, sometimes, it seems that there is no loss.
However, the dust is long, can you guarantee that every cruel trick will work? Can you guarantee that your child will be a victorious general every time?
On the contrary, such a scene also made me think:
Those who have been in public,
Parents who argue or even do it because their children grab toys;
Because of the child's ignorance,
The insults and crusades that cause parents to chatter...
In the future,
Children who come out of such families are doomed to be lonely.
Can't afford to mess with you and can't hide from you?
Can't hide from uniting to return it to you,
Can you afford to hurt?
Some parents don't realize that
the potential danger of his child,
He didn't know,
Every poor child has a parent who has a low vision,
We are not afraid to let children experience life,
We are only afraid of a wrong parent,
Use self-righteous and wrong methods to gradually disconnect your child from society,
Divorced from the beauty and kindness of mankind,
A dangerous way home...
I couldn't help but see that sentence again:
The hand that pushes the cradle is the hand that pushes the world – come on, parents!
Source: Xuexuetang (ID: zexuetang_com), Author: Teacher Yu (Red Fish), Xuexuetang is a serious educational platform. Share the most cutting-edge educational information, the most practical learning methods, the most heartfelt children's book products, and the best quality learning courses.