Ding Shangbiao
"Maybe the hand that holds hands, the previous life may not be easy to walk, maybe with the road of companionship, this life will be busier, so the hand that holds hands, the next life will go together." 」 --------- Su Rui "Holding Hands"
In a civilian house in Shanghai, the radio has been playing the song on a loop. It was an adult gift from an old father to his daughter, who was far away in Japan with his heart tied to his daughter and his wife.
This father's name is Ding Shangbiao, and he is now over the age of flower armor. Fifteen years ago, he left his wife and daughter and went to Japan to complete her dream, that is, to send her to a first-class university abroad to study medicine and become a good doctor who saves lives and helps the injured.
"What do people live for?" This is a question in the documentary "Living with Tears" that Chinese director Zhang Liling spent ten years sealing the mountain.
The final chapter of the documentary is the family of Ding Shangbiao, the protagonist of our story today, although ordinary, it has a deeply rooted feeling.
Even if fate is like this, I should strengthen myself
In the 1960s, 16-year-old Ding Shangbiao went to the countryside of Anhui Province, where there was no one there to bear even a grain of rice. This environment made Ding Shangbiao's ambitions nowhere to be exercised, but gradually declined.
At this time, he met a strong and optimistic girl, that is, his later wife Chen Xinxing. Her positivity and optimism infected Ding Shangbiao, and the two secretly had a love affair in the days of going to the countryside, and held a wedding in the local area, and a lovely daughter named Ding Sheng.
In the spring of 1989, Ding Shangbiao's family had the opportunity to return to Shanghai again. However, he found that due to the long time of "experiencing life" in the countryside, he had been seriously out of touch with Shanghai society, could not keep up with the pace of the times, and could not even guarantee the family's source of livelihood, and became a low-level person in Shanghai.
But Ding Shangbiao is not a person who gives up lightly, he saw an enrollment information of a Japanese language school in the newspaper he bought for fifty cents, and he had the idea of going to Japan to study abroad.
He explained his thoughts to his wife, Chen Xinxing, but fortunately, her wife did not complain and supported his decision. Although Ding Shangbiao could not bear to leave his wife and daughter who had just entered elementary school in Shanghai, in order to make the family's life better in the future, he still chose to go to Japan alone to further study.
But the high tuition fee once again stopped Ding Shangbiao's family, 420,000 yen, equivalent to Ding Shangbiao and his wife's salary for fifteen years without eating or drinking.
After a few days of deliberation, Ding Shangbiao began to run around to borrow money. In two months, he gave up his face and borrowed all the friends and relatives around him, and finally scraped together the 420,000 yen.
On June 12, 1989, at Shanghai Hongqiao Airport, Ding Shangbiao and his wife and daughter parted ways to the east of Japan. But when he arrived at the language school in Japan, Ding Shangbiao found that the facts were not as gorgeous as the newspapers said.
This is a renovated and abandoned school located in the remote area of Japan, Akan Town, and the "Fan Field" introduced on his visa means that Japan has compiled foreign land.
In this school, all of them are "admiring" Chinese, and the quality of teaching is not guaranteed, not to mention, even food, clothing, housing and transportation can not get the normal supply, and even the school requires them not to go out to work.
This made Ding Shangbiao, who was already in debt, even worse, and he began to plan to skip class with other students, not to achieve twice at a time, and finally escaped from this deserted school, which also caused the sensational "Hokkaido Great Escape" incident at that time.
After this "escape" incident, Ding Shangbiao's visa was also forced to be abolished, and he became a veritable "black household" in Japan. Once Ding Shangbiao is discovered as a "black household", he will be immediately sent back to China, ranging from a fine to a prison.
But he was not willing to return to Japan, for the sake of high debts, and for the sake of his daughter's dream of becoming ahead in the future, he resolutely decided to stay in Tokyo.
Hope and hope coexist
In 1996, the cherry blossoms in Tokyo, Japan, bloomed just right. At this time, Ding Shangbiao was 42 years old, and it was already the seventh year since he left home. In the past seven years, Ding Shangbiao has paid his wife regular postal money every month to repay debts.
He had never heard his wife or daughter's voice, let alone meet them. He endured the thought of his wife and daughter, and curled up alone in a small room of less than 20 square meters, with a photo of his daughter in elementary school at the head of the bed.
Fortunately, in the past seven years, Ding Shangbiao has paid off all his debts with relatives and friends, and his only dream and persistence now is to provide for his daughter Ding Sheng to study medicine at the State University of New York. Having faith in your heart is the driving force for people to live.
Mr. Ding worked harder in Tokyo, where he worked as a lathe factory on the outskirts of Tokyo during the day, and at night he hurried to a restaurant in the city and became a chef.
In addition, he used his spare time to teach himself Japanese, and passed the certificates of electrician, crane worker, and sweeper. The hardships of life did not make this tenacious man bow his head, for the sake of his daughter, for the sake of this family, he could give everything.
Fortunately, Ding Di did not live up to the expectations of her father and mother, she had excellent grades since she was a child, and at the age of 17, she was already an outstanding senior high school student in Shanghai Fudan High School.
And when the "Living with Tears" program team found Chen Xinxing's mother and daughter, they found that their mother and daughter were not happy. The program team wondered why all of Ding Shangbiao's savings in Japan had been given to them, so why was their lives still so tight?
It turned out that in order to save the cost of studying abroad for his daughter, Chen Xinxing could save money in life, and he was not even willing to go to see a doctor.
She worked in a garment factory in Shanghai, and for several years she was dressed in clothes, and the sewing and repairing were put on hold. But she took good care of her daughter and had high hopes.
The program team was moved, what kind of a company is this? He gave everything for his daughter's dream, and only asked her daughter to have no obstacles.
They brought a video of Ding Shangbiao in Japan to Chen Xinxing's mother and daughter, in which he was much older, and the years had drawn many marks on his face, and he had been bent by the hardships of life.
Looking at Ding Shangbiao like this, Chen Xinxing silently shed tears, while his daughter Ding Sheng had long been unable to cry. Her father, whom she had not seen for seven years, was now so reckless in her dream, which made her both heartbroken and guilty.
On June 28, 1997, this ordinary family ushered in an earth-shattering piece of good news, that is, Ding's grades crossed the threshold of the State University of New York in the United States and successfully received an offer.
Chen Xinxing, who has always been frugal, took her daughter to a high-end restaurant in Shanghai for the first time in the world, for the farewell and for Ding Sheng's coming-of-age ceremony of 18 years old.
Although Ding Shangbiao, who was far away in Japan, could not see his wife and daughter, he still ordered a song by Su Rui for his daughter at the Shanghai Radio and Television Administration, and his blessing for his daughter was as follows:
"Ding Zhao, today is your 18th birthday, although your father can't accompany you by your side, I hope that when you are distracted in class, inattentive or have difficulties in life, you can think of this song, and think that your father and mother will always be behind you." 」
Although it is a short blessing, between the lines is the father's concern and love for his daughter. Ding Di understands that her parents do not ask for anything in return, but only hope that she can get ahead and realize her dreams.
A short parting is for a better reunion
In September 1997, at Shanghai Hongqiao Airport, Chen Xinxing bid farewell to his daughter Ding Sheng again. 8 years ago, she bid farewell to her husband, which has not yet met; 8 years later, in the same place, she bid farewell to her daughter again, and this goodbye, I don't know when to see you again.
China has always focused on reunion, but in this ordinary family, separation is the norm. Fortunately, Ding's flight to New York was a transfer in Tokyo, Japan, and she had 24 hours to meet her father.
In eight years, Ding Di had never seen her father, and she was both looking forward to seeing her father and afraid that time would dilute the original affection. And at this time, why is Ding Shangbiao not worried in his heart?
He specially cleaned himself up, not wanting his daughter to see his old face. However, because of Ding Shangbiao's identity as a "Japanese black household", he could not enter the airport and could only make an appointment with his daughter to meet at the "Nippori" platform.
When father and daughter reunite, there are no tears, no sorrow, only the joy of meeting. Ding Shangbiao looked at his daughter, who was already as tall as him, and sighed: "They all grow so tall..... How to grow white hair, is it too much pressure to learn..."
The daughter looked at her father with a smile on her face and reassured him that everything was fine. Ding Shangbiao looked at his sensible and excellent daughter and was eager to announce to the world that this was his daughter and that his hard work was worth it.
Ding Shangbiao took his daughter to the restaurant where he worked, and introduced his daughter in fluent Japanese.
Because colleagues had not seen Ding Shangbiao's family for eight years, they once thought that he was deceiving everyone, and now that they really saw his daughter, they really admired and admired this great father.
Ding Di looked at her father who introduced her to the working environment, and a wave of heartache surged into her heart, her father was such a proud person, but he stayed in a foreign country for eight years in order to provide her with the burden of studying abroad.
But she could not show her sadness, and could only accompany her father silently, after all, more than ten hours was so short, and the next goodbye did not know when.
The next day, Ding Shangbiao sent his daughter to the subway to Haneda Airport. Along the way, the two men looked at each other wordlessly, because they both knew that the separation was in front of them.
When there was still one stop away from Haneda Airport, Ding Shangbiao reluctantly got off the subway, and because of his status as a "black household", he could only send his daughter to the previous stop of the airport.
Her father's figure was getting farther and farther away, ding sheng finally couldn't help but cry, she found that she had not seen her for eight years and did not dilute her family affection, but made her more distressed that her father paid silently. The two people were only separated by a window, and Ding Shangbiao's eyes were also filled with tears at this time, and he did not know when he would see him again.
In the days that followed, Ding Shangbiao worked harder, working three jobs at the same time when he left early and returned late, and as long as he saved a certain amount of wages, he would mail to his wife in Shanghai and his daughter in New York.
And himself, due to years of high-intensity work, his hair is getting thinner and thinner, and his teeth are almost loose, and now Ding Shangbiao only has eight teeth left.
But he did not regret it, now the three people are on opposite sides, walking different paths of struggle, but with the same kindness, all for a better reunion in the future.
In June 2002, Ding's wife Chen Xinxing applied for a visa to the United States for the 12th time, and in the past five years, she has always wanted to go to the United States to see her daughter studying abroad, and she also wants to see her husband who has not been seen for 13 years. But The Star-Spangled Banner didn't seem to hear her prayers, and the five-year application didn't succeed once.
When she applied for the last time, perhaps because of heaven's pity, Chen Xinxing finally got a visa, and she could finally see her beloved daughter and husband.
After 13 years without a new dress, she went to the clothing store to make a dress, and she wanted to see her relatives with the best appearance.
The flight to New York has a maximum transit time of seventy-two hours in Japan. When Ding Shangbiao in Japan heard the news, his joy overflowed into words.
Two days before his wife, Chen Xinxing, arrived, Ding Shangbiao began to inquire about Tokyo's famous attractions, looking through various routes and making a full book of guides in his notebook.
Having not seen his wife for 13 years, he wanted to do everything he could to make up for the years of regret between them.
Thirteen years apart, when he saw his wife Chen Xinxing again at the platform in the twilight, Ding Shangbiao's eyes were full of love, and his thoughts about his wife were buried deep in his heart for so many years, and all broke out at this moment of meeting.
But seventy-two hours flew by, the gears of time sped by, and the sweet time passed quickly. Ding Shangbiao once again faced the pain of parting with his wife, and the two of them silently nexted to each other on the subway to Haneda Airport, tears silently falling.
Five years ago, the scene was staged again, and Ding Shangbiao got off the train at the previous stop at Haneda Airport and watched his wife on the train drift away from the window.
Bittersweet, good is coming
In June 2004, Ding Sheng successfully entered the doctorate with excellent results, and the scholarship of the State University of New York was enough for her tuition, and the salary from the internship in the hospital could also ensure her livelihood.
For Ding Shangbiao, this long fifteen years is finally coming to an end.
His daughter's dream has come true, and now all Ding Shangbiao has to do is adjust his mentality and return to china that he has not set foot in for fifteen years. Before returning to Japan, he made a decision to return to the town of Akan in Hokkaido.
For Ding Shangbiao, Ahan Town is a place that he loves and hates. If it weren't for here, he wouldn't have stayed in Tokyo as a "kurodo" for fifteen years; if it weren't for here, he wouldn't have endured fifteen years of pain and loneliness for his daughter to study medicine.
But now everything is not important, Ding Shangbiao has been freed from fifteen years of suffering, and will soon return to the motherland, back to Shanghai, back to the home he has missed for many years.
On June 28, 2004, Ding Shangbiao finally stepped into Tokyo's Haneda Airport, a place he had not dared to go near for fifteen years.
He picked up his ID card and handed it to the staff at the machine entrance, thinking that there would be an episode of being detained, who knew that the staff silently paid tribute to him and let him enter the industry.
It turns out that because of Zhang Liling's documentary "Living with Tears", most people in Japan have already known this great Chinese father, even if he violated the laws of Japan, but his father's love and persistence touched everyone.
There is even a 49-year-old man who has lost his job and the direction of his life after watching this documentary, he gave up the idea of taking his own life, he said:
"A few months ago, I lost my job because of the closure of the company, and the pressure on my life and psychology was once very great, and I even had the idea of taking my life.
But when I see the hero of "Living with Tears", I find that my predicament cannot be compared with him, and I will always follow his example and be strong and unyielding! This documentary is the street lamp of my life, and I express my deep gratitude and respect to them! ”
However, although Ding Shangbiao was successfully released, he violated the laws of Japan after all, and he could not step into Japan for half a step after that.
Ding Shangbiao looked at the place where he had lived for fifteen years at the window, and his heartache, grievances, and too many complicated feelings turned into tears and filled his eyes. He has too much resentment about Tokyo, but there is nothing more important than the reunion of his family and the happiness of his daughter.
After Ding Shangbiao returned to China, he used the remaining money he had saved for more than a decade to buy a large house in Shanghai, in order to make up for his wife and to fulfill his promise to make his family better fifteen years ago.
But for his wife, Chen Xinxing, being reunited with her husband is the happiest thing, and nothing is more reassuring than reunion.
In March 2006, Ding Shangbiao's application for a U.S. visa had also been approved, and he traveled with his wife to New York to visit his daughter.
And Ding Has become an excellent gynecologist at New York State Hospital as she wished, and she finally lived up to her parents' expectations and realized her dream.
In June 2009, Mr. and Mrs. Ding Shangbiao obtained a green card, and with their daughter Ding Zhao settled in the United States, Ding Zhao was also married and had children, and the family lived happily together.
Although Ding Zhao and her husband have a high income, enough to support their parents and children, Ding Shangbiao's fifteen years of struggle have made him reluctant to retire at home.
He also did the work in Japan that year, washing dishes, cooking, cleaning, delivery, etc., each job was done to the extreme, and even won the highest honor of "excellent employee".
In September 2019, 65-year-old Ding Shangbiao retired, but he still did not stop moving forward, he studied English hard, and wrote a bilingual version of his experience into a bilingual memoir.
In January 2020, when the COVID-19 pandemic broke out globally, the United States announced that It would ban Chinese tourists from entering the country, and Ding Shangbiao and his wife, who planned to return to Shanghai to visit their relatives, were trapped in the United States.
And the Houston where Ding Day worked also broke out, and the family was separated by the epidemic as if they were two worlds. To this end, Ding Shangbiao thought about it for a long time and made a decision, that is, to make a will.
He left the passwords of the safe and bank cards, and instructed his daughter that if he was unfortunate enough to die of illness, he would cremate the body and scatter it into the sea, leaving no hidden dangers for future generations.
Even in the face of the epidemic, Ding Shangbiao is still so indomitable and positive.
And in the turbulent waves of us, no matter how difficult the days are, we should also take Elder Ding as an example, there will be dreams to persist, only persistence, will make unremitting efforts for the goal. Believe that the sky pays off, and dreams will come to fruition!
Resources
[1] "China Overseas Chinese Network" August 6, 2016, "15 years of "black labor" in Japan, only met with his wife and daughter, what made this Chinese man persist"
[2] "Visual Chronicle", November 5, 2019, "From a monthly salary of 100 yuan to buy a house in Shanghai, he worked as a black worker for 15 years only for two women"
[3] "China Youth Online", February 16, 2011, "Chinese "Black Workers" Move Japan and Interpret "Chinese Fatherly Love" in Their Careers"