Originally I thought that a relationship with love is enough, now I think that having money is, how simple I was before, now after all, I can't withstand the cruelty in reality.
When I was 28 years old, I vaguely remember being on a trail. I strode forward with sadness. Behind me, a beautiful young girl chased after me with tears in her eyes. Finally, a flying body stopped me, and the girl said with a sad face: I already know that I am wrong, why can't you forgive me?
We were a couple, and I said to her with a sad and cold face. The girlfriend is still pestering her to say that she is really the first time. I said it was the first time so what? The girlfriend said that now this society is so open, are you so unacceptable? Am I not wrong so once? You man is so narrow-minded!
I said that I will accept all the past before you know me, but any time after knowing me, I will not forgive, it is as simple as that. The maiden said have you forgotten our vows? Is it false to say that you have always loved me and tolerated me? I said it doesn't matter if you say that now. Girlfriend says you know I love you the most! I said angrily that that was no reason for you to open a room with someone else. I said sadly, it's over, let it go. The girl pulled out a knife with tears in her eyes and put it across her neck and said that if you don't forgive me, I will die in front of you.
I laughed bitterly, I'm not not forgiving you, it's just... The girlfriend asked just what? I didn't answer, led her to the stall to buy a piece of fragrant barbecue, the girlfriend thought I wanted her, can't help but show anticipation in her eyes. I asked if this meat was fragrant? Is it a good piece of meat?. It was a delicious piece of meat, and I turned around, and I saw a stray dog lying there on the side of the road and reached out and handed it to the dog, and the dirty stray dog bit it and bit it into its mouth. But I immediately snatched the piece of meat back from the dog's mouth, and there were two more tooth marks on it, all of which were the dog's saliva, and the dog was angry, and I immediately tore the meat in half and threw the half of the meat that had not been bitten by the dog to the dog. I put this piece of meat that had been bitten by a dog. Ask your girlfriend if you still eat? "I handed the meat to my girlfriend. Girlfriend says you're disgusting or not disgusting? It's full of dog saliva. The girlfriend looked at the piece of meat with disgust. I said angrily, "You know how I feel." I said lightly, "I'm not not forgiving you, I'm just feeling sick." Then as soon as I raised my hand, I threw the piece of meat in my hand completely to the dog.
The girlfriend said that she was also deceived, and I didn't know in advance... I said that when you agree to go out drinking alone with a rich brother, you can't be considered cheated. You have no family lineage, two does not matter, three has no money. Four brainless... Why do people ask you to drink? Why do you have dinner every day? Aside from your face, this body, what else do you have to attract that kind of person? As long as you say one, I am a victim even if you are. The girlfriend has nothing to say, I said that when you agree to someone's meal, it seems to the man that you have accepted his hint. Therefore, everything that happens after that should be done is reasonable. And from the time you promised him, we have no relationship, a disloyal, a lifetime, I do not accept an affair, not once! At that time, my heart was full of pain, pain, but there was no struggle.
I can not care about your past, and I have never asked you how you were before me, even if you have gone through a thousand sails before, I only ask you to be with me, do not let me lose people in this regard, it is enough, even if you play enough to come back to me, but as long as you do not play from now on, I can still accept, can recognize, for the people I love, when the spare tire I recognize.
But how do you do it, you never cared about me, and my so-called commitment is just lip service, even if I forgive you this time, there will be a next time, another time... Long pain is not as good as short pain, let's end it! Maybe you will have guilt and self-blame, but after a short period of guilt, you will still do your own thing... I, on the other hand, will wear a green hat for the rest of my life.
This kind of thing, this kind of thing... One time is too much. I strode away. My girlfriend grunted and tugged at my sleeve, and with a snort, the sleeve was torn and I ran fast and disappeared into the crowd. My girlfriend watched me walk away with tears in her eyes, from hope to despair, to grayness, and then, instead, to crazy hatred. I shout at you I hate you!! The girlfriend yelled, "You wait! She turned around and cried as she went away.
All the way back to his rented house, he closed the door casually, sat down, full of depression, covering his face with both hands, and tears had already surged out of his fingers. In the rental house, there is still the breath of the girlfriend at this moment. As an ordinary people at the bottom, they came to Beijing to work hard for their livelihood, worked hard to find a job, and worked hard every day, just to give her a foreseeable and beautiful future, looking forward to the day when he would put on a white wedding dress for her... I even thought about how to decorate the future wedding house, pay a mortgage, first buy a smaller, more location of the house, and then wait for a child, see the conditions for a change, the child's education, raising, etc... I can't help but think deeply. Even how to retire after getting old... All planned. But the concept is very beautiful, the reality is very cruel, and this betrayal of the girlfriend will shatter all these long-term blueprints! The phone kept ringing, but I never answered it. It seemed that the world had become meaningless to him and did not know how long it had been, and the sky had darkened, so I stood up like a corpse, opened the refrigerator, and took out two packs of instant noodles; I remembered that I was alone, and one bag was enough. This bowl of noodles, I don't know what it tastes like.
I walked to the rental house to the supermarket to buy a few dozen bottles of wine, returned to the rental house to borrow wine to dispel my worries, drunk, I suddenly remembered my parents in the distance, and could not help but let out a deep sigh. It's not that you don't want to die, but you really don't dare to die... Even if you are betrayed, you still have to live and you have to live. Looking at the narrow rental house, I suddenly remembered the stray dog on the street. “...... Live as well as that dog... At least that dog, don't have to be so tired, don't have to bear so much, don't have so many emotions to face, people are not as good as dogs, it's not just talking..."
The blow this incident caused to me can be said to be devastating. Although it was my own initiative to propose the breakup, my heart was a thousand knives and aches every moment. A relationship, how much happiness has been caused, will also form the same amount of harm, and those injuries are not a long stream of water one by one, but a brain attack, lasting, my current situation, is it.
I don't understand what's wrong with me. Obviously I don't want her, obviously she is sorry for me, she cheated. Why did I take the initiative to abandon her, but I would be so bitter, sad, but also painful, should not only have to chill?! Because I am just the first brother of the love field, I naturally will not understand. Now I understand what I was sad about before, because I have made all the preparations for the life of that person, to build a blueprint for the future, and even to prepare all the preparations for this person to give my life; once it is over, the whole heart, in fact, is empty in that moment. Empty, not only hurt and cold, but almost dead! "It's been a few days... How could there still be a smell of her in this room? I muttered to myself. After casually eating a few steamed buns, I was ready to go to work in the afternoon.
Just as the earth will not stop because of any one person, no matter how empty my heart is, the days will still be lived, life will continue, life cannot be abandoned, and there are still many things on my shoulders. I laughed self-deprecatingly in the mirror: "Sometimes, I admire your persistence, obviously living worse than a dog, but I have to try to make myself like a person..." Close the door and lock it. Life goes on, and it's time for me to do it all over again.
I hope that in the future, I can find someone who can spend the rest of my life with me, be loyal, never abandon, and not be betrayed.