It's almost the New Year, and I want to give everyone a shot in the arm in advance.
I don't know if everyone is like me, looking forward to a lively and lively New Year every year, but in fact, it is very worried.
What's the worry?
Friends and family get together at a table, and it is likely to become a scene where some people show superiority and are bigger than children:
"I didn't earn much this year, so I negotiated a few projects; what do you think, did the salary rise?"
"My child won the math competition prize, and if he can't do it, he has to work hard; is your child's grades better?"
……
The above examples are quite mild, there are always some people who are not enough to show on their own, they have to pull you and your children together, and secretly poke and taunt.
If we are in one of the ordinary people, no promotion and salary increase, still get up early and greedily struggle for their own small days; their own baby is also an ordinary child, the grades are not up and down, there is no specialty...
How do you live in this time?
If the heart is not strong enough, especially for underage children, it is very likely that in such an environment, the balance of self-stability will gradually tilt:
Why can others always be better than me, just me so ordinary?
Why do I try so hard and others still think I'm not good enough?
Am I terrible, not worth anything at all?
Unexpectedly, a popcorn film originally only for taking the baby to see, "Magic Full House", has healed adults and children who are accustomed to being strong and always show their perfect side to the outside world, but in fact, they are deeply inferior.
Source: The movie "Full House of Magic"
Ordinary people in excellent piles
There is a special family in a beautiful town, and each child in the family has a different talent for magic:
The eldest sister is elegant and beautiful and the flowers bloom everywhere she passes, the second sister is very strong and powerful, the third sister is downwind, the older brother will transform, the younger brother can talk to animals... Even the tables, chairs, and benches have magic, and the family can use their abilities to help the rest of the town.
Only the heroine Mirabe, mediocre in the middle, not pretty, slightly fat and not strong, not yet has any special ability, wants to try to do something for the people of the town, but always accidentally helps, and then is ridiculed.
She envied her magical family and dreamed of one day having magical talents and being able to shine.
This mirabe, like the ordinary self in life, seems so out of place compared with the excellent people around us who seem to have their own highlights, and then can't help but have self-doubt.
By chance, Mirabe discovers cracks in her family's house, and at the same time, the family's magic is gradually disappearing, in order to save the family crisis, Mirabe embarks on a journey to find the truth.
She gradually discovers that behind the seemingly perfect family, there are hidden secrets and rifts...
The secret behind perfection
In addition to Mirabe, the grandmother of this family is also a magic-free one, but has absolute paternal authority.
The grandmother's way of guarding the family is direct wishful thinking, placing each child with different talents in the position that suits them best.
This is like the extremely controlling parents in reality, who like perfect and excellent children, and hope that their children will develop according to their own expectations.
They always think they have given enough help to the children and are heartbroken.
But in fact?
The sister who can bloom flowers is buttoned up with the hat of "Miss Perfect", and she must be delicate enough to be hairline in order not to be provoked.
But the feeling of holding it all the time makes Sister Flower feel tired and tired, and she never knows what it feels like to be at ease...
Sister Hercules, because of her strong image, others think that she should be fearless and fearless, she always asks herself not to cry, not to be vulnerable, not to refuse others' help, until she is exhausted...
No matter how vigorous it is, there is also a weight that cannot be borne.
While watching the movie, I think of reality, every perfect and excellent child, there are also times when they want to put down their baggage and show their true selves; but the expectations of the outside world for them are not allowed, and everyone is forced to embark on the road of "inner volume".
Everyone seems to be excellent, but everyone can't be their true, happy self.
Some netizens said that when they were sick, they watched this movie and cried into tears:
Many people have similar feelings to this netizen, they don't know why they are crying, but they must have been poked in the most secret corner of their hearts.
That corner is the self that usually shows a perfect side, obviously full of pain, but dare not tell anyone; only when the most fragile and most direct face of the real self, seeing that it is really not everyone is so perfect, do you feel caught.
Representing good "magic" does not necessarily bring us happiness, and many times it becomes a burden.
True "magic"
It turns out that the key to the disappearance of magic lies in the rift in the hearts of each family member.
In order to save the family, Mirabe chose a very different way of guarding than her grandmother - to listen to the voice of each "perfect child" and do her best to understand and tolerate, to repair the cracks between them.
When every good child's true self is understood and heard, the magic miraculously returns.
This is also the place where the movie has been criticized the most, and many people feel: Just so inexplicably and good? Outrageous!
And this is exactly a metaphor that the movie does not directly point out - strong empathy, listening ability, it is the magic of the heroine, she used her magic to heal her family, let them find self-confidence and courage, and the magic was naturally restored.
The strong grandmother also finally understood that the source of the family disaster was not an external factor, but the contradictions and scars that surged under the perfect appearance of the family.
The family's original magic was born from the grandfather's indelible love for his wife and children.
When this love becomes distorted or even no longer expressed positively, magic loses its meaning.
May you and your children no longer be trapped in perfection
In addition to poking at the adults who grew up under the perfect disguise, this movie is also more meaningful in shaping the three views of children.
The fairy tales we watched when we were young always loved to shape the heroine to be born stupid and sweet with extraordinary births and outstanding talents, and the ultimate success was always attached to being saved by others;
As if we strive to grow and become beautiful, all in order to increase our chances of being chosen, rather than mastering the right to choose, the vivid and vigorous growth of girls themselves is completely ignored.
The heroine of this fairy tale, Mirabe, is an ordinary person trapped in the extraordinary world.
This breaks the conventional setting in a different dimension, but it is closer to our real world.
In the face of the excellent surrounding environment per capita, she has confusion and doubts about herself, but the final transformation is to find the value of her own existence and the fulcrum of inner balance, rather than "marry the prince, everything is fine".
The same is true of the various characters in it, completing the process of accepting their true selves - "Miss Perfect" does not need to be perfect at all times, and strong people can also cry fragile...
The problems Milabet and her family face are the problems we face now or in the future.
Real women, real people, are finally being seen;
How beautiful is a real life that is not bound by the world's definition of "perfection"!
When everyone is passionate about showing the perfect image to the outside world, we will always have an attitude towards ourselves and our children:
No one is perfect, and you don't have to be perfect;
You exist in itself, there is "magic", it is a miracle;
Accept your imperfections and be confident and happy.
A source of out-of-print confidence
What is surprising is that the actor Yoko Spicy, who voiced the heroine in the Chinese version of "Full House of Magic", not only has a similar image to the heroine Mirabe, but also has extremely similar personal characteristics and growth experiences.
Image source network, intrusion and deletion
Yoko, who suddenly became hot this year, is also such an imperfect, but real and confident, vivid and interesting girl.
In the showbiz circle with many handsome men and beautiful women, she challenged the traditional aesthetic gaze on women with her small round face of flesh.
What about the bucket waist and potato face, in front of a group of old predecessors and big directors who dislike the flow of small flowers and small fresh meat acting skills, Yoko Spicy still gets unanimous praise.
One of Yoko Spicy's most out-of-the-loop performances,
Without any image baggage, he conquered everyone with his acting skills
(Source network, intrusion and deletion)
Her efforts are not to cater to the preferences of others, and the hard concave is not suitable for her own image, but to tap her own potential to the extreme.
Clear self-awareness allows her not to have too much psychological internal friction, go straight to the goal, real and unpretentious.
Yoko Hotaru's high school diary
Such a hot-eyed Yoko, even if she is not a big beauty in the traditional sense, makes people who see her unconsciously sigh:
"This girl is so sunny, God must have kissed her countless times when he created her and didn't want to let go."
God doesn't necessarily exist, but the source of her out-of-print confidence is really "magic"—the unconditional love and support of her parents.
In Yoko Spicy's Weibo, there is a lot of interaction with her parents, who often cooperate with her to do things that only friends do.
For example, when they hug each other during video calls and sing "Ao Bao Meet", they will also send a "bungee" invitation to their daughter in the middle of the night.
Image source: Spicy Yoko Weibo
Many netizens have seen it and said: The family atmosphere is really good, and the humor cells of Spicy Yoko come from the cute family.
Such cute parents are the strong backing of Yoko Spicy on the road to growth.
She has faced too much denial and ridicule, but no matter what she wants to do, her parents are so fully cooperative.
These positive expressions of love are constantly hinting to the child:
No matter what you are, you will always be our cutest child.
How much dare to show the true self, the bottom is how much support parents give to their children, these loves are enough to resist all the doubts of the outside world.
It is precisely because of this that there is now a happy comedian Who is now in full bloom, and she has become the self she most wanted to be.
Like the metaphor at the end of the movie "Full House of Magic":
Unconditional love can really produce magic, so that children have the courage to realize their dreams, become the most unique self, confident and successful.
About the author: Ah Wei, Yin Jianli Parents Academy original content editor, childcare worker, continuous learning and dissemination of parenting knowledge. On the way to raising a baby, we grew up together.