When my husband said to me: In fact, men also have postpartum depression!

After having children, the time that couples can spend alone is probably only the short time when the children are asleep. Sometimes we would chat, sometimes we wouldn't, and sometimes we would have to deal with unfinished household chores. Most of the time, we would work on our work in the study, but we would get used to pouring each other a glass of water and putting it on each other's table, which is a way for us to express our love.

The operation of the husband and wife relationship sometimes needs to be a little deliberate, to create some romantic sweetness between husband and wife, and to continue to save regularly for each other's "emotional account" in order to keep the feelings between husband and wife warm.

Frankly, we don't always stage the 8 o'clock couple show like in front of the TV

In fact, during the time when the second eldest was born, our husband and wife also experienced a period of fatigue. Because the eldest is only one year old and three months old, the second is born, and the parenting life of Shuangbao makes us both busy, and the trivial transactional work of parenting makes us fall into endless anxiety and irritability. Busy milking, feeding, hiccups, changing diapers, but also face the little baby who does not know why, plus the second is just born, the boss was sent to the grandmother's house, just went to the grandmother's house The boss cries and cries every day, the mood fluctuates greatly, and it is easy to catch a cold, three days at both ends have to see a doctor to take medicine, it is very painful to see people, it is inevitable to fall into guilt and self-blame, that period can really be said to be dark.

Because of this, I became extremely sensitive for a while, obviously it was just a trivial matter, but I always made it as nervous as the sky fell. Sometimes, because of the irritability, I can't help but appear to my husband with commanding sentences.

"Husband, didn't you see that his diapers were wet?" Why didn't you help her change?"

"Husband, hurry up!" Help me get the gauze towel! She vomited on Grandma~"

"Husband ~ she is wet in her bib, take one to help her change, otherwise there will be a rash of saliva in the next time."

"Husband, look! She has a rash on her! Did you get an allergy to something?"

It always felt as if he didn't care about himself

I always felt that his nerves were particularly large

How do I always feel as if the child is mine?

Only I was blindly nervous over there. Why am I the one who feeds? Is it me who is sleeping? In the middle of the night, the child cries and coaxes the child or me?

Only later did I find out that I had forgotten. I forgot to see that he must accompany me every time the obstetric examination, I forgot to see him driving back and forth as a driver, I forgot that he was always silently instructed by me to do things and do things.

The tedious and repetitive work of parenting affairs makes me forget to see my husband's goodness, but I always accuse him of not doing it, and even compare him with others. Dissatisfaction, complaints accumulated in my heart bit by bit, I forgot to thank, forgot to communicate, forgot to kiss, forgot to hug, forgot to cherish, forgot to see his good.

"Other people's husbands will accompany their wives into the delivery room, why don't you?"

"Other people's dads take pictures of their kids with cameras, why don't you?"

I only saw what he didn't do, but I didn't see his efforts, in fact, he was like me, and he was still learning how to be a parent.

Until one time, my husband looked at me half-jokingly and said, "You know what? In fact, men also have postpartum depression yayers."

I realized that after I had a child, I somehow ignored his feelings and his mood, and threw a lot of emotions that could not be vented on the little baby to him. We sat down and had a long conversation, and he confided a lot about himself, talking about the fact that Dad was not like Mom, who had gone through the process of conceiving in October.

Seeing the fetal movement is just very curious, want him to talk to the child in the belly, to tell the truth he really does not know what to talk about, but if there is no reaction, the wife will be unhappy, think that this father does not have to love the child.

When the child was born, he looked at the monkey-like creature in front of him and thought, "Is this really my child?" "Am I really a dad?" Only then did I start to have a little bit of fatherhood, and then my brain slowly turned on and found myself with a little baby who could cry. He is also still learning how to be a father, sometimes it is not that he is unwilling to participate in parenting work, but his mother has served the whole bowl, and his father has no chance to perform at all

I began to calm down and reflect on myself, and indeed after having children, I hardly paid much attention to my husband, and everything was important to children, so that he would have a sense of loss of status to some extent.

Later, we began to make some changes in life, we would talk about each other's work or mood today after the child fell asleep, when we did not chat, we would hug each other before going to bed or help each other massage, ask the in-laws to help take care of the children when we had free time on the weekend, come to a two-hour movie date, and try to add a little flavor to the married life.

I also began to learn to let go slowly, from two or three hours of cutting my hair, so that my husband and children had full time to be alone, so that I could also have a little time to breathe. It must be said that men sometimes really need time to practice, and then give more applause and encouragement when practicing

The flow of energy between people is mutual, when we are willing to see more of each other's good, when we are willing to give love, love will naturally return to us. The same is true of the most intimate marital relationships, no matter how busy and tired, a hug and kiss is enough, so that love can surround us again

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