#1
Some time ago, there was such a scene in a children's playground in Dalian:
A little girl accidentally peed her pants while playing. When the mother found out, she pointed at the child in public and reprimanded loudly.
Only to see the little girl was taken off by her mother, wearing only a layer of autumn pants to sit on the ground without floor heating and scolded. Many people around came forward to dissuade her, but the girl's mother ignored it.
The amusement park staff saw the child sitting on the ground, afraid that the child would catch a cold and wanted to pick up the child, but was pushed down by the child's mother.
Later, the staff checked the monitoring and learned that because the child peed his pants, the child's mother hit and kicked the child several times. ‘’
She even said to the child: "You pee your pants, why don't you let the car crash and die?" ”
Finally, after nearly 20 minutes of scolding, the mother changed the child's pants.
In fact, in the process of raising children, parents will inevitably have a breakdown and emotional out of control. But beating up children in public to vent their anger is the worst way to educate!
Learning to control emotions is a compulsory course for modern mothers.
#2
The book "When Anger Hurts Your Child" says that anger casts a long shadow, not only has immediate lethality, but also damages the child's emotional intelligence and sociality.
Emotional violence against a mother, a wound to a child is fatal. Even some injuries will be difficult to heal for life.
Remember the previous hit TV series "In the Name of Family"?
Ling Xiao really let many people see that it was only a moment to change from cheerful and lively to gloomy and taciturn.
In every shot where chen Ting, the mother of the play, appears, she is either yelling in anger or sulking in mourning.
She used to leave her two young children behind and lock the door to play mahjong with others. However, one day Ling Xiao's sister was accidentally stuck while eating walnuts, when the lightning and thunder outside, Xiao Ling Xiao desperately called for help and no one heard.
By the time she returned home from the end of the game, her little daughter had died, and this scene became the most unforgettable nightmare in Ling Xiao's life.
She also felt guilty and blamed herself, but she chose to vent all her emotions to her son.
Ling Dad said that Ling Xiao was lively and cheerful when he was young, and he liked to take his sister Tossa Huan the most. And such a hysterical mother made him cold and introverted, not fond of talking, and only lived in his own small world.
It turns out that the hysterical mother has unconsciously changed the child's life.
#3
Children have a natural sense of dependence on their mothers, and they are also extremely sensitive to their mothers' joys and sorrows.
When his mother is happy, he will be very happy, and he will be spoiled and "tricky"; when his mother is angry, he will be silent and careful in everything he does.
Education expert Chen Heqin once said: "Any rough and arbitrary way of education is inappropriate, and only in a gentle way can it enter the child's soul." ”
Haiqing was also disliked by his son because of his bad temper.
The son sent Haiqing a painting to wish her autumn peace, and Haiqing wondered why his son was suddenly so exquisite?
Unexpectedly, my son actually said, "You have a bad temper recently, look at the paintings and chanting, listen to music, drink tea, it is good for your health."
He also said a poignant sentence: "Mom, I am good to be good, you are safe and secure."
An emotionally stable mother can make her child feel love and make the family more warm.
Writer Tang Xin told such a story in the book "Good Mother, No Yelling, No Screaming":
On weekends, Fei'er's mother took Fei'er to the playground to play, and went to eat at a fast food restaurant during the noon break, because there were many people in the restaurant during the holiday, and waited for a long time to get seated.
Just when Fei'er's mother went to order food, the child at the next table accidentally spilled the drink, and the child's mother yelled at the child while busy cleaning up: "It's not honest to eat a meal, can you still eat?" If you don't eat, go away! ”
In this way, the children did not finish eating, and they were dragged away by their mothers.
Fei Er sat there by herself, watching her aunt accuse the child without scruples, scared a little absent-mindedly, her mother just came back with something, she reached out to reach out and did not notice the drink on her mother's right hand, and also overturned.
Fei Er looked at her mother helplessly, thinking that what had just happened was about to repeat itself.
Unexpectedly, her mother gently took her aside, wiped the water sprinkled on the table, and said: "Are you tired of playing in the morning, do you still drink?" Mom went to buy you another cup. ”
Hearing her mother's words, Fei Er was a little surprised: "Mom, thank you, I thought you would yell at me like your aunt just now." ”
The same is to overturn the drink, Fei Er got the mother's care and guidance, while the child got the mother's indiscriminate scolding and accusations.
The gap is the mother's ability to control her emotions.
A sentence from a mother can make the child smile like a flower, and it can also easily push the child to the edge of collapse.
No child is willing to spend time in the mother's yelling and scolding, they are all expecting recognition and encouragement, hoping that the mother can see their efforts, but also tolerate their carelessness and embarrassment.
Therefore, a mother who is good at controlling emotions is a blessing for a child's life.
#4
Many moms might say, "I can't control it, there are some things that are really devastating." ”
Aristotle also said, "Everybody gets angry, it's simple." "A lot of times we lose our temper with our children uncontrollably, so we have to think about how to remedy it.
We can sincerely apologize to the child, hug him, and say "I'm sorry." Mom was wrong, and I shouldn't have lost my temper with you. ”
Then tell the child's mother that sometimes she is not doing very well and failing to control herself, thank him for being willing to forgive, give him the opportunity to correct, and will not do this again next time.
No child grows up without making mistakes, eating without washing hands, grabbing toys with children, not doing homework on time...
Dear mothers, please allow your child to make mistakes, then you will have more tolerance and understanding of your child's behavior.
Give your child time to grow up, communicate calmly, and your child will surely bring surprises at some point in the future.
For the sake of the children, for the sake of the family, please try to be an emotionally stable mother.
The child's growth path is also the mother's path of practice, and all mothers are encouraged together.
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