During this time, schools around the world are organizing final exams, and many schools and even teachers have corrected the exam papers and sent them down to students. Around the scores and test papers, a tragicomedy is staged between parents and children.
Xiao Nian (pseudonym) is in the third grade of primary school this year, and he scored 100 points in mathematics on this final exam.
The little one was very happy and told his mother the news as soon as possible after school, hoping to get her praise and gifts.
Who knew that the mother did not "talk about martial arts" at all, but while busy with the things at hand, she said lightly, "My son is awesome.".
Seeing his mother did not seem to care too much about the big good news that he had scored 100 points, there was no surprise, there was no gift, but the little guy was wronged, and immediately the tears could not stop flowing, crying and saying to his mother: "People are good at the exam, people's parents are suddenly happy" "Everyone has a reward, I have a reward" "You didn't help me buy what I wanted, you didn't ask me what I wanted."
The mother was shocked by the fact that her son had such a big emotion, so she asked him, "Even if you don't reward you this time, usually) can you still buy the toys you like", but the child cried even harder and protested loudly: "You mean it!" ”
The mother saw that her son was so emotional, she said: "Then wait until you take the next 100 points, and your mother will help you buy it." The little boy was afraid that his mother's words did not count, so he said, "I can remember it all!" ”
The relevant video was posted on the Internet, which amused the netizens and comforted the little boy:
"Too sad, too sad, crying by the mother, the mother is too much, the test 100 points will not give the reward."
"All show me that such a sensible child who cries must be rewarded."
"The next time a good boy takes the 100-point test, there will be a reward, and the people of the whole country will know it, and your mother will not be able to get rid of it."
"He was crying, but I kept laughing, oh, it's so cute."
……
For this kind of performance and grievances of the little boy, many netizens have expressed déjà vu, obviously they are working hard, obviously they have good results in the exam, but they can't get the attention of their parents, they can't get praise and prizes, and they will feel unhappy and feel very lost.
In fact, the child's world is very small, the idea is very simple, and the purpose of them doing many things is nothing more than to gain the approval of others, especially the affirmation of their parents. If you have achieved good results or made progress but are ignored by your parents, you will feel frustrated in your heart, and even lose your initiative and action. Therefore, as a parent, we should pay more attention to the psychological needs of children who hope to be affirmed, and when children achieve good results and progress, give positive feedback in a timely manner, so that children can have a sense of recognition, in order to help children establish self-confidence and a sense of achievement, and prompt them to work harder and make continuous progress.
So, how do you give positive feedback to your child? For children, what they most want to see is of course material rewards, this method is the most simple and crude but the drawbacks are also very obvious, if the child every time to achieve good results and progress, are material rewards, it is easy to make children develop a vulgar, pragmatic utilitarian view, the primary and secondary upside down, learning as a tool to obtain material rewards, is not conducive to the child's correct three views of the cultivation.
At the same time, the excessive use of material rewards will make children develop an insatiable psychology, the requirements for rewards are getting higher and higher, and when the material rewards provided by parents do not meet the requirements, they will passively cope and lose their enthusiasm for learning.
Therefore, in the author's opinion, for children in primary and junior high schools, spiritual rewards should be the mainstay, supplemented by material rewards. And material rewards should also have the imprint of culture, which is helpful to children's learning, rather than giving what children want.
Of course, even the spiritual reward can not be handled casually, be sure to let the child feel that the parents can see their efforts and recognize their achievements. Therefore, we must praise the words and things, let the child know where to do well, and encourage him to continue to work hard, so that the child has the direction of effort.
How do you usually reward your children? Feel free to leave a comment in the comments section below to share it!