Hello everyone, I'm Irene Mommy Diary
The moon has clouds and clouds, and the sea has ebb and flow.
On the road of life, no one can always be at the peak and ensure that they will not encounter difficulties and obstacles.
No one can guarantee that their life will always be smooth, only win and not lose.
Only because ups and downs are life, and ups and downs are normal life.
It is only when we fall to the bottom that we need to have enough resistance to let us recover quickly from setbacks, open up new situations, and create new successes.
As the University of Pennsylvania research shows: in the face of setbacks and difficulties in life, the key to determining a person's success or failure lies in a person's psychological resilience, that is, resistance to frustration.
It can be seen that the importance of resilience to a person is self-evident.
Therefore, when the child is young, it is also very important to cultivate the child's resistance to frustration.
Children with strong resilience are more resilient in personality, and when they encounter difficulties, they often have the mentality of not accepting defeat and moving forward bravely.
However, in reality, many children always win happiness when everything goes well; when they encounter difficulties, they are uncomfortable and depressed, and even cry on the spot.
Without action, psychologically, I lost first, which is completely a manifestation of a glass heart.
My little nephew could not afford to lose in life before; in study, he did not get a good ranking, he was stagnant, very glassy.
For example, playing games with small partners, they are very happy when they win; when they lose, they put on their faces, lose their temper, often quit directly in the middle, and several times down, the little friends are very disappointed, so they are not willing to play with him.
Previously, the little nephew of the "Elementary School Student Story Speech Contest" held at the school won the first place, and he was praised by teachers and classmates.
But since the last time he participated in the competition and did not get the ideal place, the child simply avoided it and was no longer willing to participate in any interest competition held by the school.
The child's mentality of not being able to win and lose, and giving up in frustration when encountering setbacks makes the family very anxious.
Although the family will tell the child every time: there is no eternal winner, there is no eternal loser, but the truth has been told a thousand times, the child still does not change.
When he encounters a result that is not as good as he wants, he loses his temper, is entangled, and grumbles.
In fact, reasoning may have a certain effect on older children, but for younger children, or primary school students, the role of reasoning is actually not great.
After all, they lack experience, and their understanding of some big truths is not so deep.
Don't talk about children, even if we are adults, some people will be depressed or even depressed because of setbacks encountered in work or life.
So how can you change your child's glass heart?
We can skillfully use the game to break the child's glass heart and easily play with frustration.
It can be said that there are no children in the world who do not like to play games, so how to play this game?
There are two things to pay attention to before playing the game
First: Prepare something your child likes as a prize
If the prize is used well, it can better mobilize the enthusiasm of the child and play a multiplier effect with half the effort.
Of course, in the eyes of children, the so-called prizes do not mean that it is money, or some expensive electronic products, gifts and other things, in the eyes of children, a small candy, a colorful balloon, a sticker with various animals or beautiful shapes, are their beloved things, can be used as the winner's prize.
Also, after playing this type of game with your child for a long time, it is also possible to cancel the prize on an ad hoc basis.
Second: The family must strictly implement the rules of winning and losing, and do not allow children to play tricks
Many children in the process of playing games with their families, losing may be through angry crying to make the family compromise, or sweet mouth to say some warm words, the parents are coaxed to be happy, under the child's sugar-coated shells, the family compromised, even if the child loses, also give the prize to the child.
This is to indulge the child to play tricks, and to leave the child with the illusion that I can achieve my goal by crying or sweet mouthing.
Maybe this will work in front of your family, but it won't work on the outside.
Therefore, the family must strictly enforce the rules, losing is losing, and cannot be rewarded.
What kind of game to choose?
In fact, the choice of games is flexible, after all, not every child likes to play the same game, some children like board games, some children like board games, and some children like to jump the grid and the like.
Randomly selected according to the child's interests and hobbies, the only thing we are sure of is that the game must have a distinction between winning and losing.
How to play games to achieve the purpose of improving children's resilience?
Step 1: Let the child win first and then lose, and reinforce the fact that the child wins and loses
As mentioned earlier, the child with the glass heart is not willing to accept the fact that he has lost, so we must first avoid letting the child lose as soon as it comes up, which is not conducive to mobilizing the enthusiasm of the child to continue, so let the child win a few games first, and when the child gradually enters the game, we will win back.
It is worth noting that in this process, every time we lose, we must remember to reinforce the fact that we win and lose once to our children.
Step 2: Let the child lose at the same time, let the child understand that if he loses, he can also win back
With the foreshadowing in front, what we have to do now is to let the child lose, if the child loses and starts to repeat the same trick, at this time, we must guide the child to understand that as long as the reason for losing is found, it can also be won back.
Later, when my little nephew was using games to improve his resilience, the first time the family began to win, he began to play tricks and unreasonable, and her mother asked him like this.
Mom: The first few games of the game you won and mom lost, right?
Little nephew: Right.
Mom: Did Mom play tricks?
Little nephew: No.
Mom: You see mom lost in front, but mom won in the back, do you know why?
Although the little nephew was not happy, he still looked at his mother to give a reply.
Mom: Because mom through thinking, found the reason for the first few games to lose, so the mother changed the strategy, so it won, we lost does not matter, as long as we can find why we lost, we can win back, learning is the same, we did not get a good ranking this time, but we can go to find the reason why we did not get a good ranking this time, and strive to get a good ranking next time, or the next time, as long as we do not give up, we will win again.
The child listened, although he was still unhappy, but he did not play tricks again.
Step 3: Play more games with your children, assist your children in the game to analyze problems, and gradually shift to learning and life
It's hard to expect your child to change completely in one game, so we have to remember to play games with your child.
And in the game again and again to assist the child to analyze the problem, find the reason for their failure, let the child gradually understand in this subtle way that losing is not terrible, as long as you find a way, it is sooner or later to win.
As long as the child buries such a belief in his heart and everything is connected, the child will naturally transfer this optimistic idea to learning and life, so as to truly play with frustration.
My little nephew found optimism and confidence in the game, improved his resilience, and got good results at the recent New Year's Day event.
Some people say: How far your life can go depends on how strong your resistance is.
Break the child's glass heart, enhance the child's resistance, let us start small, starting from the game.